oOoOooOOH GiVe Me a HoMe, WHeRe THe BuFaLLoOoOOo ROaM, aND
THe DEeEeR aND THe aaAaaANTeLoPe PLaAaaAY!!!! WHeRe SeLDoM
iS HEaRD, a DiSCoURaGiNG WoOOoRD, aND.... uMMM.... uH-oH..
oHWeLL.. GUeSS i CaNt ReMeMBeR THe LaST LiNe... :
HeY!!! THeRe SHoULD Be No SaDDiES iN THiS TeXT/SoRTa/THiNG!!
CRoSS THaT oUt...
aNYWaY!! WeLCoMe To THe FiRSt iRa ANSi PaCK d00dz!!! HoPe Ya
LiKe THe JiViN K RaD THaNG!!! YSeE, We aIM To PLEaSe.. oR
aIM FoR YoUR HEaD, oR SPLEeN, oR KiDNeYS, eTC... : BuT iD
LiKe Ta TeLL Ya BoUT a MaN NaMeD JeD.. eRR... THe iRa THaT iS..
aNYWaY, THe oL iRa STaRTeD WHeN a MaN NaMeD JeD.. eRR... ALeX
De GREaT STuMBLeD aCRoSS a VoLLeY oF ANSi aRTiSTs... iN a WoODeN
SAiLiNG SHiP KNoWN aS DENSiGN... WHiTe THaT iS.. WeLLSiReE, oN
THaT SAiLiNG SHiP WeRe a FeW PEoPLe... NaMeD BiLLy, BoBBy, JoHN,
aND aRDSLeY. eRR... THaTS ALeX, FaDe, DeLTa, aND J.C WaLSH BTW.
THe GREaT ALeX THoUGHt oF THe PoSSiBiLiTiES oF THe CReWPEoPLe,
aND RoUNDeD eM uP FeR a TeST Ta SeE THEiR aMaZiNG TaLeNTS iN
PiCTuRe MaKiN!! ANSi THaT iS... aND WeLL, WuZ He SuPRiSeD WHeN
He SaW THeM d00dz PReSSiNG KeYS aND MaKiN PiCTuReS oUTTa BLoCKS!
iN FaCT, He WuZ aSToUNDeD!!! So He DeCiDeD Ta MaKe aN ANSi GRoUP..
NoW, THe oNLy THiNG WRoNG WuZ: THe NaMe.. WHaT CoULD iT Be??? oL
ALeX THoUGHt aND THoUGHt uNTiLL HiS BRAiN aLMoSt eXPLoDeD, aND He
FiNaLLy REaLiZeD iT!! YSeE, aLL THe CReW MeMBeRS WeRe.. uMM.. NoT
DEaLiN WiTH a FuLL DeCK... DiDNt HaVe BoTH OaRS iN THe WaTeR..
WeReNT CRaCKy PoT JuNIoR JOeD, JuSt SaNe iMPAiReD.. So, He DeCiDeD
To CaLL iT THe CRa. THe CReW-ReTaRTeD ANSi. uNTiLL He REaLiZeD THe
NaMe SuCKeD DoGGy DoO-DoO... So He CaLLeD iT THe iRa. THe iNTeRNaTIoNaL
ReTaRTeD ANSi!!!! THaT oL ALeX THoUGHt iT WaS a GReEeEAt NaMe!!!! So He
uSeD iT....
MoNTHS aT SEa LaTeR, aCTUaLLy aBoUt a FeW DaYS a HuGe GReEN SHiP
WiTH LiZaRDS CRaWLiNG oN iT aPPROaCHeD THeM... iT BEaReD a HuGe FLaG
oF aN.. aN.. iGUaNa??!? oL ALeX SaW THe MaGNiFiQUe THaTS FReNCH FoR
MaGNiFiCeNT!! : DRaWiNG oF THe iGUaNa, aND DoCKeD THe BOaT. a LiTTLe
GReEN SKiNNeD d00d CaMe uP To HiM aND SAiD. Hi GuYZ. iM iGUaNa!
ALeX aSKeD HiM IF He WaNTeD To Be oN aN iRa, aND He SAiD SuRe!! iD
Be HaPPy To!! THeN ALeX ToLD HiM HeD HaVe Ta PaSS a TeST.. DRaW THe
AeRoSMiTH SyMBoL... aND Do iT GOoD.. WeLL, iGUaNa DiD NoT FReT, FoR He
ToOK DoWN HiS FLaG, WeNt iNTo a CaBiN, aND aBoUt a DaY FeW HoURS
LaTeR, RAiSeD iT aGAiN iN a PeRFeCTLy DRaWN AeRoSMiTH SyMBoL!! WoW!!
ALeX HaDNt SeEN SuCH a WiCKeD ANSi iN a WHiLe!!!! So iGUaNa LeFT HiS
SHiP aND BOaRDeD THe ENSiGN, MAiNTaINiNG aS a GREaT uSeR. He aLSo LeNT
a FeW GP To THe CaP To TaKe HiM uP To LiEUTeNaNT. DoNaTeR
YEaRS LaTeR, aBoUt a MoNTH, DeLTa WeNt oFF oN a SCoUTiNG MiSSiON.
uNFoRTuNaTLy, THe MaN WaS NeVeR SeEN aGaIN, aND THe CReW STiLL HaSNt
SeEN HiM To THiS VeEeRY DaY.....
aFTeR THe MoURNFuLL DiSSaPeEReNCe oF DeLTa, THe CReW SAiLeD FoR YEaRS.
BoUT TWo MoNTHs ZaCKLy.. aND FoUND aN oLD SAiLiN SHiP THaT WuZ CaUGHt
aBLaZe, aND a CRaZeD CaPTaIN WiTH a FRo a HAiR SCREaMiN aBoUt.. DENSiGN
SToPPeD aND ToOK THe FRo d00d aBOaRD, aND ALeX SaW YeT aNoTHeR GREaT
TaLeNT iN THe LaD... FiReBiRD WuZ THe LaDS NaMe.. ALeX aSKeD HiM
iF He CoULD DRaW ANSiS, aND THe FRo d00d NaMeD FiReBiRD uNRoLLeD a
SWEaTy uNDeRWEaR RoLL THaT HaD a SiG WiTH FiReBiRD oN iT!!! BEaUTy,
THoUGHt ALeX. FiReBiRD QUiCKLy BeCaMe a MeMBeR, aND CaUGHt oN THe
WaYS oF SHaDiNG... QUiCKLy, aND FaSTLy... iN THe MEaNTiMe, iGUaNa HaD
DRaWN a WHoLe LoTTa ANSiS aLL oVeR DENSiGN, aND WaS aWaRDeD WiTH a PRoMoTiON ... CoMMoDoRe, LiKe ALeX HiMSeLF. Co-aCS
SHoRT MoNTHS aFTeR FiReBiRD THe FRo d00d HaD CoMe aBOaRD, DaYS a
LaD THaT HaD a SHiP MaDe OuTTa THe STReET FiGHTeR aLPHa PiECeS SAiLeD
uP... THe LaDS NaMe WaS THoUGHt To Be RYu FiRST, BuT THeN He eXPLaINeD
To ALeX THaT HiS NaMe WaS BLoODHaWK. ALeX aSKeD HiM iF He CoULD DRaW,
aND He CeRTAiNLy CoULD!!! He SHoWeD uP WiTH a JaPaNaMaTIoN CHiCK aT HiS
SiDe, SaYiN He DReW HeR, aND He DiD!! ALeX aPPoINTeD HiM oNe oF THe BeST
DRaWeRS iN THe iRa, aND PRoUD BLoODHaWK DReW MaNy GREaT ANSiS THeRe oN.
aND WHiLe THiS WaS HaPPeNiNG, PRoUD iGUaNa RoSe To THe RaNK oF CaPTaIN.
aND He HeLPeD THe ENSiGN THeReaFTeR. SySoP ACS.. :
aND THeRe Ya HaVe iT. THe CoMPLeTe uNTRuE TaLL TaLe THaT SUiTS THe iRaS
BeGiNNiNG. : aND NoW, THeRe aRe TWo SHiPS... aNoTHeR iS a BiG MaCHiNe THaT SPRaYS ToYS eVeRYWHeRe, THaT iS KNoWN aS ToY MaCHiNe.. GiVe THaT VeSSeL
a ViSiT!!! BuT FiRSt, DoCK aT THe ENSiGN.. WHiTe THaT iS.. THe SHiP WiTH
THe SeRIaL NuMBeR 334-2474. CuRReNT HoMe oF ting, uNLeSS YoU ViSiT
THe SEa DoCK MoBiLe.. :
aNYWaYZ LoOK aT THeSe ANSiS aND ReMeMBeR THe iRa!!! :
THe CRaZeD -G-U--- 95, R WHaT eLSe?? ANSix??? :
THe DEeEeR aND THe aaAaaANTeLoPe PLaAaaAY!!!! WHeRe SeLDoM
iS HEaRD, a DiSCoURaGiNG WoOOoRD, aND.... uMMM.... uH-oH..
oHWeLL.. GUeSS i CaNt ReMeMBeR THe LaST LiNe... :
HeY!!! THeRe SHoULD Be No SaDDiES iN THiS TeXT/SoRTa/THiNG!!
CRoSS THaT oUt...
aNYWaY!! WeLCoMe To THe FiRSt iRa ANSi PaCK d00dz!!! HoPe Ya
LiKe THe JiViN K RaD THaNG!!! YSeE, We aIM To PLEaSe.. oR
aIM FoR YoUR HEaD, oR SPLEeN, oR KiDNeYS, eTC... : BuT iD
LiKe Ta TeLL Ya BoUT a MaN NaMeD JeD.. eRR... THe iRa THaT iS..
aNYWaY, THe oL iRa STaRTeD WHeN a MaN NaMeD JeD.. eRR... ALeX
De GREaT STuMBLeD aCRoSS a VoLLeY oF ANSi aRTiSTs... iN a WoODeN
SAiLiNG SHiP KNoWN aS DENSiGN... WHiTe THaT iS.. WeLLSiReE, oN
THaT SAiLiNG SHiP WeRe a FeW PEoPLe... NaMeD BiLLy, BoBBy, JoHN,
aND aRDSLeY. eRR... THaTS ALeX, FaDe, DeLTa, aND J.C WaLSH BTW.
THe GREaT ALeX THoUGHt oF THe PoSSiBiLiTiES oF THe CReWPEoPLe,
aND RoUNDeD eM uP FeR a TeST Ta SeE THEiR aMaZiNG TaLeNTS iN
PiCTuRe MaKiN!! ANSi THaT iS... aND WeLL, WuZ He SuPRiSeD WHeN
He SaW THeM d00dz PReSSiNG KeYS aND MaKiN PiCTuReS oUTTa BLoCKS!
iN FaCT, He WuZ aSToUNDeD!!! So He DeCiDeD Ta MaKe aN ANSi GRoUP..
NoW, THe oNLy THiNG WRoNG WuZ: THe NaMe.. WHaT CoULD iT Be??? oL
ALeX THoUGHt aND THoUGHt uNTiLL HiS BRAiN aLMoSt eXPLoDeD, aND He
FiNaLLy REaLiZeD iT!! YSeE, aLL THe CReW MeMBeRS WeRe.. uMM.. NoT
DEaLiN WiTH a FuLL DeCK... DiDNt HaVe BoTH OaRS iN THe WaTeR..
WeReNT CRaCKy PoT JuNIoR JOeD, JuSt SaNe iMPAiReD.. So, He DeCiDeD
To CaLL iT THe CRa. THe CReW-ReTaRTeD ANSi. uNTiLL He REaLiZeD THe
NaMe SuCKeD DoGGy DoO-DoO... So He CaLLeD iT THe iRa. THe iNTeRNaTIoNaL
ReTaRTeD ANSi!!!! THaT oL ALeX THoUGHt iT WaS a GReEeEAt NaMe!!!! So He
uSeD iT....
MoNTHS aT SEa LaTeR, aCTUaLLy aBoUt a FeW DaYS a HuGe GReEN SHiP
WiTH LiZaRDS CRaWLiNG oN iT aPPROaCHeD THeM... iT BEaReD a HuGe FLaG
oF aN.. aN.. iGUaNa??!? oL ALeX SaW THe MaGNiFiQUe THaTS FReNCH FoR
MaGNiFiCeNT!! : DRaWiNG oF THe iGUaNa, aND DoCKeD THe BOaT. a LiTTLe
GReEN SKiNNeD d00d CaMe uP To HiM aND SAiD. Hi GuYZ. iM iGUaNa!
ALeX aSKeD HiM IF He WaNTeD To Be oN aN iRa, aND He SAiD SuRe!! iD
Be HaPPy To!! THeN ALeX ToLD HiM HeD HaVe Ta PaSS a TeST.. DRaW THe
AeRoSMiTH SyMBoL... aND Do iT GOoD.. WeLL, iGUaNa DiD NoT FReT, FoR He
ToOK DoWN HiS FLaG, WeNt iNTo a CaBiN, aND aBoUt a DaY FeW HoURS
LaTeR, RAiSeD iT aGAiN iN a PeRFeCTLy DRaWN AeRoSMiTH SyMBoL!! WoW!!
ALeX HaDNt SeEN SuCH a WiCKeD ANSi iN a WHiLe!!!! So iGUaNa LeFT HiS
SHiP aND BOaRDeD THe ENSiGN, MAiNTaINiNG aS a GREaT uSeR. He aLSo LeNT
a FeW GP To THe CaP To TaKe HiM uP To LiEUTeNaNT. DoNaTeR
YEaRS LaTeR, aBoUt a MoNTH, DeLTa WeNt oFF oN a SCoUTiNG MiSSiON.
uNFoRTuNaTLy, THe MaN WaS NeVeR SeEN aGaIN, aND THe CReW STiLL HaSNt
SeEN HiM To THiS VeEeRY DaY.....
aFTeR THe MoURNFuLL DiSSaPeEReNCe oF DeLTa, THe CReW SAiLeD FoR YEaRS.
BoUT TWo MoNTHs ZaCKLy.. aND FoUND aN oLD SAiLiN SHiP THaT WuZ CaUGHt
aBLaZe, aND a CRaZeD CaPTaIN WiTH a FRo a HAiR SCREaMiN aBoUt.. DENSiGN
SToPPeD aND ToOK THe FRo d00d aBOaRD, aND ALeX SaW YeT aNoTHeR GREaT
TaLeNT iN THe LaD... FiReBiRD WuZ THe LaDS NaMe.. ALeX aSKeD HiM
iF He CoULD DRaW ANSiS, aND THe FRo d00d NaMeD FiReBiRD uNRoLLeD a
SWEaTy uNDeRWEaR RoLL THaT HaD a SiG WiTH FiReBiRD oN iT!!! BEaUTy,
THoUGHt ALeX. FiReBiRD QUiCKLy BeCaMe a MeMBeR, aND CaUGHt oN THe
WaYS oF SHaDiNG... QUiCKLy, aND FaSTLy... iN THe MEaNTiMe, iGUaNa HaD
DRaWN a WHoLe LoTTa ANSiS aLL oVeR DENSiGN, aND WaS aWaRDeD WiTH a PRoMoTiON ... CoMMoDoRe, LiKe ALeX HiMSeLF. Co-aCS
SHoRT MoNTHS aFTeR FiReBiRD THe FRo d00d HaD CoMe aBOaRD, DaYS a
LaD THaT HaD a SHiP MaDe OuTTa THe STReET FiGHTeR aLPHa PiECeS SAiLeD
uP... THe LaDS NaMe WaS THoUGHt To Be RYu FiRST, BuT THeN He eXPLaINeD
To ALeX THaT HiS NaMe WaS BLoODHaWK. ALeX aSKeD HiM iF He CoULD DRaW,
aND He CeRTAiNLy CoULD!!! He SHoWeD uP WiTH a JaPaNaMaTIoN CHiCK aT HiS
SiDe, SaYiN He DReW HeR, aND He DiD!! ALeX aPPoINTeD HiM oNe oF THe BeST
DRaWeRS iN THe iRa, aND PRoUD BLoODHaWK DReW MaNy GREaT ANSiS THeRe oN.
aND WHiLe THiS WaS HaPPeNiNG, PRoUD iGUaNa RoSe To THe RaNK oF CaPTaIN.
aND He HeLPeD THe ENSiGN THeReaFTeR. SySoP ACS.. :
aND THeRe Ya HaVe iT. THe CoMPLeTe uNTRuE TaLL TaLe THaT SUiTS THe iRaS
BeGiNNiNG. : aND NoW, THeRe aRe TWo SHiPS... aNoTHeR iS a BiG MaCHiNe THaT SPRaYS ToYS eVeRYWHeRe, THaT iS KNoWN aS ToY MaCHiNe.. GiVe THaT VeSSeL
a ViSiT!!! BuT FiRSt, DoCK aT THe ENSiGN.. WHiTe THaT iS.. THe SHiP WiTH
THe SeRIaL NuMBeR 334-2474. CuRReNT HoMe oF ting, uNLeSS YoU ViSiT
THe SEa DoCK MoBiLe.. :
aNYWaYZ LoOK aT THeSe ANSiS aND ReMeMBeR THe iRa!!! :
THe CRaZeD -G-U--- 95, R WHaT eLSe?? ANSix??? :
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