@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@@@@@@
@@! @@@ @@! @@@ @@! @@@ @@! @@@
@!@!@!@ @!@!!@! @!@!@!@! @!@ !@!
bootleg radioactive aardvark dung one
a special issue of raD that includes stuff way too stupid for raD!
released march 26, 1996. c rad, bitch.
a few notes. ed who is mention i think twice is a retarded kid, and he
has this lump of flesh near his neck... where a dog bit him, he refuses to
tell us why the dog bit him. but i am determined to find out, i must continue
to make fun of the less fortunate. he has a gym bag, called sportif too,
he bought it at wal-mart. 17.00, go pick one up. Not just any gym bag,
this is SPORTIF. - mercuri
sweet home indiana - mercuri
big wheels keep on turnin
carrying me home to grow my corn
sing songs about the midwest
been so long i think its sin...
n0t fUnny. glflllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
un guf.
un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un g
uf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf
. un guf. un guf. un guf.
*begin handle*
Rad Rad Rad Rad eatin goober rad goodness how delicious eating goober rad
Once I was happy but now Im forlorn like an old coat that is tattered and
torn Bleistif Bitta Mein Fuhrer
*end handle begin mercuri*
and now the severe beating of a certain lake street elementary school teacher
mi mi mi! la la la! doe doe doe!
doe reigh mi fa so la ti do! my, i love these see-though shirts.
triple ti, da, triple te la, cinco, pa la, fa tee da!
WHO HIT THE XYLAPHONE!?@?@! SEND HIM TO AUSCHWITZ!
POW!
ouch!@
achtun, BITCH!
thats my bitta! ow! in the blestif mein furher!
WAPOW! CRACK! SHMACK! WOOP! BANG! SLAM!
ill get the gestapo on yo ass!
ka-chunk, *BANG*
my navel!
the severe beating of a gnat.
bzz.
*smack*
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of a Crown Point High School Gym teacher
SMACK
OH your gonna fucking smack me ya lazy jackoff I rip your fucking
throat out with my teeth!!
Smack Crack Bash KAZOWWY
Damn kids.
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of a gym bag.
KICK
bam.
KICK
bam.
KICK
bam.
KICK
bam.
KICK
bam.
KICK
bam.
KICK
QUIT MESSING WITH SPORTIF!@!@@!@!
KICK
sorry ed.
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of a brick wall
POW CRACK
Fucking Ouch.
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of adam sandler.
KICK
ow, mommy!
PUNCH, YOUR NOT FUNNY!
ow, momma!
*smash guitar over head*
its gettin dark! i cant see!
adam sandlers legs kick straight up in the air, and stay there
the severe beating of someone who just read slinky
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
Im numb.
The severe beating of devin.
VERBAL THREAT
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH@!@!!@@!@!@!@!!@
the severe beating of a stephen king novel.
tear
toss
that was easy.
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of al gore
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
*end handle begin mercuri*
The severe beating of a peice of cheap man-made cheap ol rinky-dink
sunny delight bottle. cheap thing.
twist
slam down on table
THERE, ED TOUGH.
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of an illegal alien
SMACK CRACK OFF ZOWY BOOM UPH
please Mr. Buchanan I cant take any more
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of a man who thinks hes been reincarnated from
a great ww2 veteran.
smack
IM PATTON YOU MAGNIFICENT SON OF A BITCH, YOUR A COWARD! I CANT
STAND COWARDICE IN THE RANK! WHY I SHOULD SHOOT YOU RIGHT NOW
MY SELF YOU COWARD!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of a rad writer who shall remain Mercuriless who
thinks hes Patton come back to life
PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH
Im still Patton
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of a man who throws queso around like it grows on
trees or something...
WHOPSH!
ahh!@ my queso! que mal suerte! malo! mal estudiante! silencio!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of someone who made me drop rice on the floor
SMACK CRACK CABAM AZULES
Holy Uncle Ben Batman!
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of jan brady
SMACK
marsha marsha marsha!
smack, crack, punch
pork chops, apple sauce.
bang
wow bobby! thats great! let me on the trampoline!
whip!
hello world, this is the new marsha brady!
this is pointless.. i quit.
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of this T-file
ITs not even worth it anymore
the severe beating of a nigger
CRACK BOOM BAM
the severe beating of a racial slur
DAMN WHITEY SMACK
*end handle begin mercuri*
The severe burning of a newspaper.
light
crackle crackle.
*end mercuri begin handle*
The severe beating of Rice Crispies
SNAP CRACKLE POP
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe harassment of an old woman.
hey baby!
i said, hey baby!
hey beautiful!
what are you deaf?
YOU BETTER NOT WRITE ABOUT THIS!
haha! thats where i got YOU!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe burning of a whick on a stick of dynamite next to a gas
station
CLICK CLICK CLICK
Damn my lighters broken.
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe slashing of a tire
pop
pssss.
the severe beating of a hippy.
punch
woah, man.. peace, dood.
smack
got any bud?
kick
see that garcia concert?
ka-chunk, *BANG*
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe fall of a communist country
Beating communist over the head with a baseball bat
Telling him to spread this pain equally among his comrads
the severe dropping of a sock that says Jason Inc.
plop
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe staining of a white shirt
glug glug glug
trickle trickle
damn! new shirt man!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe rewriting of the communist one
CRACK BOOM CRASH
Communist spreads the pain equally among his nation
there that sounds better
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe plagarizing of a poem.
roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe hating of a dandruff shampoo
You leave my hair dry and smelling like medicine
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe punting of a basketball.
poomp
soring through air...
hmph, kind of un-eventful, huh?
yep.
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of someone criticising the A-Team
I pitty the foo who says I cant act
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of richard lewis
punch
im sorry, thanks for punching meeee... i was a test tube baby, puts
hand on bridge of nose, my father was an alcoholiiiiic.... my mother
never looooved me... my love life stinks.... im sicking of paying
hookers to just ditch me ya know.... grabs bridge of nose
ka-chunk
i deserved that. grabs bridge of nose
kick, kick, kick, etc..
my ribs,... theyre broken... grabs bridge of nose youre paying
the bill you big monster.... grabs bridge of nose
click click, *BANG*
that was one magic bullet! hey, how about that whole kennedy deal,
huh? grabs bridge of nose
DO YOU EVER SHUTUP YOU MANIC-DEPRESSIVE!@??@!@!
grabs bridge of nose
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
grabs bridge of nose uhoheeuhoh... blame my parents...
grabs bridge of nose
you SUCK!@!@@! SHUTUP!@!@@
grabs bridge of nose
death by strangling
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe stabbing of Nicole Brown-Simpson
STAB STAB STAB SLASH SLICE STAB
stop killing me person who is coincidentally not my husband O.J.
the severe beating of Rodney King
SMACK CRACK bash crunch smack
Police paying off jury
well just pretend this whole thing didnt happen
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe digging up of a grave.
dig dig dig
*sniff* *sniff*
oh man! check the date on this guy!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe talking with an older sister
do you do it?
What?
with boys?
Why do you ask?
Julie says that if you dont do it boys wont like you
Thats why were all lesbians
the severe running of a nose
sniff sniff sniff sniff blow splat sniff
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe re-denting of ryan rapps head.
poke poke poke
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of a cop
SMASH CRACK CRACK BAM
damn pigs trying to eliminate the criminal element
the
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of a dogbite.
rip, bleed
coach norris, can i go to the nurse?
the severe changing of a channel
*CLICK*
the severe picking up of a phone.
lift
HELLO!@?!@??@?@!?@?!?@!? WHO IS THIS?!@?@!?@!
the severe hanging up of a phone.
I DONT WANT ANY TODAY THANK YOU VERY MUCH@!@!!@@!@!@!
the severe breaking of a nail
*SNAP*
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe flushing of a toilet
Plop Flush
Damn low flow toilets
Flush
Shit
Flush
Flush
this terd is unflushable
Terd is mounted above the mantle
the severe earning of a Marlboro jacket
Puff puff cough cough puff puff cough cough
Damn lungs
puff puff cough cough cough cough death
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe wiping of an ass
wipe
wipe
wipe
wipe
damn, this is getting ridiculously messy.
wipe
wipe
wipe
wipe
aww fuck it.
pulls up pants
** MERCURI GOES HOME
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe chaffing of an inner thigh
scrape
scrape
Scrape
scrape
scrape
damn magazine in my pants
the severe riding of a health rider
squeek
squeek
squeek
squeek
ten hours later
squeek
squeek
break
damn infomercials
the severe hitting of the broad side of a barn
Swish Smack
I showed them
*end handle begin mercuri*
** MERCURI CALLS HANDLE
the severe being more worthless than a bag of nails
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
** MERCURI HANGS UP
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe educating of a soldier
do pushups
the severe telling of an old joke
you want the truth you cant handle the truth
the severe act of taking this to far
read from the fourth one on
the severe making of a gas station attendant
you suck you read
the severe beating of Mercuri
400 pound man with Jerry Garcia shirt and long hair reads this
beat beat beat beat
the severe ejecting of Handle from rad
take that one where I get beaten out-Mercuri
no-handle
Fine then your out of rad-mercuri
so-handle
just take it out-mercuri
Im out-handle
apparently I have to stop writing now.
Im just kidding take this one out to-Mercuri
no-handle
yes-mercuri
no-handle
Im the editor I can make up whatever I want-mercuri
fine then I quit-handle
just take it out-mercuri
no-handle
quit typing-mercuri
No-handle
Im hanging up then-mercuri
go for it-handle
*CLICK*
once again I surmount all
now I can finish this how ever I want, tee hee hee.
ARHH ARR ARR URRR ARRRHH ARRHH
For those of you Tim Allen fans out there that must have been a riot.
MORE POWER!
hee hee.
They will come from miles around to worship the mound of tacos.
Mercuri would have never let me say that...Im free!!!!!!
Wow Ive never had complete control over a zine before, its kinda
cool. Hmmm maybe I should quit rad and start my own zine. Or maybe I
should just take complete control of rad. Or maybe I could just join another
zine. Any offers? Send them to Merc. Im getting out of this stinking zine
Damn Mercuri not writing a descent article in months. Do you remember that
episode of the chipmunks where they met Mr. T? He sure did teach those
bullies not to pick on Alvin. My family mi familia. Wow this isnt as easy
as I thought. Im gonna call Merc.
Nobody answered. I think Ill take this time to plug The Wrath of
the Yum-Yum Tum-Tums 8: Johnny takes Manhattan. This is going to be the big
one. From here on in everythings going to be leading up to this spectacular
issue. Im telling the truth when you read this baby your gonna say I bet
this would have been a lot better if I read the first seven. Well your right
it would have.
The severe inauguration of Pat Buchanan
As my first act as president I will kill all the hippies
Man am I glad Pats gonna be president
BAM
Damn psychos always killing the extremists
WOW THE OSCARS ARE ON!!!!
oh wait a second *CLICK*
yeah a cops marathon sweet sweet fox
ride the snake ride the kings highway baby ride the snake hes old and his
skin is cold. Im gonna try Mercuri again.
When will the phones evil ringing end?
fuck this I quit.
@@! @@@ @@! @@@ @@! @@@ @@! @@@
@!@!@!@ @!@!!@! @!@!@!@! @!@ !@!
bootleg radioactive aardvark dung one
a special issue of raD that includes stuff way too stupid for raD!
released march 26, 1996. c rad, bitch.
a few notes. ed who is mention i think twice is a retarded kid, and he
has this lump of flesh near his neck... where a dog bit him, he refuses to
tell us why the dog bit him. but i am determined to find out, i must continue
to make fun of the less fortunate. he has a gym bag, called sportif too,
he bought it at wal-mart. 17.00, go pick one up. Not just any gym bag,
this is SPORTIF. - mercuri
sweet home indiana - mercuri
big wheels keep on turnin
carrying me home to grow my corn
sing songs about the midwest
been so long i think its sin...
n0t fUnny. glflllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
un guf.
un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un g
uf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf. un guf
. un guf. un guf. un guf.
*begin handle*
Rad Rad Rad Rad eatin goober rad goodness how delicious eating goober rad
Once I was happy but now Im forlorn like an old coat that is tattered and
torn Bleistif Bitta Mein Fuhrer
*end handle begin mercuri*
and now the severe beating of a certain lake street elementary school teacher
mi mi mi! la la la! doe doe doe!
doe reigh mi fa so la ti do! my, i love these see-though shirts.
triple ti, da, triple te la, cinco, pa la, fa tee da!
WHO HIT THE XYLAPHONE!?@?@! SEND HIM TO AUSCHWITZ!
POW!
ouch!@
achtun, BITCH!
thats my bitta! ow! in the blestif mein furher!
WAPOW! CRACK! SHMACK! WOOP! BANG! SLAM!
ill get the gestapo on yo ass!
ka-chunk, *BANG*
my navel!
the severe beating of a gnat.
bzz.
*smack*
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of a Crown Point High School Gym teacher
SMACK
OH your gonna fucking smack me ya lazy jackoff I rip your fucking
throat out with my teeth!!
Smack Crack Bash KAZOWWY
Damn kids.
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of a gym bag.
KICK
bam.
KICK
bam.
KICK
bam.
KICK
bam.
KICK
bam.
KICK
bam.
KICK
QUIT MESSING WITH SPORTIF!@!@@!@!
KICK
sorry ed.
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of a brick wall
POW CRACK
Fucking Ouch.
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of adam sandler.
KICK
ow, mommy!
PUNCH, YOUR NOT FUNNY!
ow, momma!
*smash guitar over head*
its gettin dark! i cant see!
adam sandlers legs kick straight up in the air, and stay there
the severe beating of someone who just read slinky
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
Im numb.
The severe beating of devin.
VERBAL THREAT
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH@!@!!@@!@!@!@!!@
the severe beating of a stephen king novel.
tear
toss
that was easy.
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of al gore
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
SMACK
*end handle begin mercuri*
The severe beating of a peice of cheap man-made cheap ol rinky-dink
sunny delight bottle. cheap thing.
twist
slam down on table
THERE, ED TOUGH.
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of an illegal alien
SMACK CRACK OFF ZOWY BOOM UPH
please Mr. Buchanan I cant take any more
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of a man who thinks hes been reincarnated from
a great ww2 veteran.
smack
IM PATTON YOU MAGNIFICENT SON OF A BITCH, YOUR A COWARD! I CANT
STAND COWARDICE IN THE RANK! WHY I SHOULD SHOOT YOU RIGHT NOW
MY SELF YOU COWARD!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of a rad writer who shall remain Mercuriless who
thinks hes Patton come back to life
PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH
Im still Patton
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of a man who throws queso around like it grows on
trees or something...
WHOPSH!
ahh!@ my queso! que mal suerte! malo! mal estudiante! silencio!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of someone who made me drop rice on the floor
SMACK CRACK CABAM AZULES
Holy Uncle Ben Batman!
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of jan brady
SMACK
marsha marsha marsha!
smack, crack, punch
pork chops, apple sauce.
bang
wow bobby! thats great! let me on the trampoline!
whip!
hello world, this is the new marsha brady!
this is pointless.. i quit.
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of this T-file
ITs not even worth it anymore
the severe beating of a nigger
CRACK BOOM BAM
the severe beating of a racial slur
DAMN WHITEY SMACK
*end handle begin mercuri*
The severe burning of a newspaper.
light
crackle crackle.
*end mercuri begin handle*
The severe beating of Rice Crispies
SNAP CRACKLE POP
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe harassment of an old woman.
hey baby!
i said, hey baby!
hey beautiful!
what are you deaf?
YOU BETTER NOT WRITE ABOUT THIS!
haha! thats where i got YOU!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe burning of a whick on a stick of dynamite next to a gas
station
CLICK CLICK CLICK
Damn my lighters broken.
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe slashing of a tire
pop
pssss.
the severe beating of a hippy.
punch
woah, man.. peace, dood.
smack
got any bud?
kick
see that garcia concert?
ka-chunk, *BANG*
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe fall of a communist country
Beating communist over the head with a baseball bat
Telling him to spread this pain equally among his comrads
the severe dropping of a sock that says Jason Inc.
plop
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe staining of a white shirt
glug glug glug
trickle trickle
damn! new shirt man!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe rewriting of the communist one
CRACK BOOM CRASH
Communist spreads the pain equally among his nation
there that sounds better
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe plagarizing of a poem.
roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe hating of a dandruff shampoo
You leave my hair dry and smelling like medicine
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe punting of a basketball.
poomp
soring through air...
hmph, kind of un-eventful, huh?
yep.
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of someone criticising the A-Team
I pitty the foo who says I cant act
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of richard lewis
punch
im sorry, thanks for punching meeee... i was a test tube baby, puts
hand on bridge of nose, my father was an alcoholiiiiic.... my mother
never looooved me... my love life stinks.... im sicking of paying
hookers to just ditch me ya know.... grabs bridge of nose
ka-chunk
i deserved that. grabs bridge of nose
kick, kick, kick, etc..
my ribs,... theyre broken... grabs bridge of nose youre paying
the bill you big monster.... grabs bridge of nose
click click, *BANG*
that was one magic bullet! hey, how about that whole kennedy deal,
huh? grabs bridge of nose
DO YOU EVER SHUTUP YOU MANIC-DEPRESSIVE!@??@!@!
grabs bridge of nose
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
grabs bridge of nose uhoheeuhoh... blame my parents...
grabs bridge of nose
you SUCK!@!@@! SHUTUP!@!@@
grabs bridge of nose
death by strangling
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe stabbing of Nicole Brown-Simpson
STAB STAB STAB SLASH SLICE STAB
stop killing me person who is coincidentally not my husband O.J.
the severe beating of Rodney King
SMACK CRACK bash crunch smack
Police paying off jury
well just pretend this whole thing didnt happen
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe digging up of a grave.
dig dig dig
*sniff* *sniff*
oh man! check the date on this guy!
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe talking with an older sister
do you do it?
What?
with boys?
Why do you ask?
Julie says that if you dont do it boys wont like you
Thats why were all lesbians
the severe running of a nose
sniff sniff sniff sniff blow splat sniff
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe re-denting of ryan rapps head.
poke poke poke
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe beating of a cop
SMASH CRACK CRACK BAM
damn pigs trying to eliminate the criminal element
the
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe beating of a dogbite.
rip, bleed
coach norris, can i go to the nurse?
the severe changing of a channel
*CLICK*
the severe picking up of a phone.
lift
HELLO!@?!@??@?@!?@?!?@!? WHO IS THIS?!@?@!?@!
the severe hanging up of a phone.
I DONT WANT ANY TODAY THANK YOU VERY MUCH@!@!!@@!@!@!
the severe breaking of a nail
*SNAP*
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe flushing of a toilet
Plop Flush
Damn low flow toilets
Flush
Shit
Flush
Flush
this terd is unflushable
Terd is mounted above the mantle
the severe earning of a Marlboro jacket
Puff puff cough cough puff puff cough cough
Damn lungs
puff puff cough cough cough cough death
*end handle begin mercuri*
the severe wiping of an ass
wipe
wipe
wipe
wipe
damn, this is getting ridiculously messy.
wipe
wipe
wipe
wipe
aww fuck it.
pulls up pants
** MERCURI GOES HOME
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe chaffing of an inner thigh
scrape
scrape
Scrape
scrape
scrape
damn magazine in my pants
the severe riding of a health rider
squeek
squeek
squeek
squeek
ten hours later
squeek
squeek
break
damn infomercials
the severe hitting of the broad side of a barn
Swish Smack
I showed them
*end handle begin mercuri*
** MERCURI CALLS HANDLE
the severe being more worthless than a bag of nails
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
sitting on a shelf
** MERCURI HANGS UP
*end mercuri begin handle*
the severe educating of a soldier
do pushups
the severe telling of an old joke
you want the truth you cant handle the truth
the severe act of taking this to far
read from the fourth one on
the severe making of a gas station attendant
you suck you read
the severe beating of Mercuri
400 pound man with Jerry Garcia shirt and long hair reads this
beat beat beat beat
the severe ejecting of Handle from rad
take that one where I get beaten out-Mercuri
no-handle
Fine then your out of rad-mercuri
so-handle
just take it out-mercuri
Im out-handle
apparently I have to stop writing now.
Im just kidding take this one out to-Mercuri
no-handle
yes-mercuri
no-handle
Im the editor I can make up whatever I want-mercuri
fine then I quit-handle
just take it out-mercuri
no-handle
quit typing-mercuri
No-handle
Im hanging up then-mercuri
go for it-handle
*CLICK*
once again I surmount all
now I can finish this how ever I want, tee hee hee.
ARHH ARR ARR URRR ARRRHH ARRHH
For those of you Tim Allen fans out there that must have been a riot.
MORE POWER!
hee hee.
They will come from miles around to worship the mound of tacos.
Mercuri would have never let me say that...Im free!!!!!!
Wow Ive never had complete control over a zine before, its kinda
cool. Hmmm maybe I should quit rad and start my own zine. Or maybe I
should just take complete control of rad. Or maybe I could just join another
zine. Any offers? Send them to Merc. Im getting out of this stinking zine
Damn Mercuri not writing a descent article in months. Do you remember that
episode of the chipmunks where they met Mr. T? He sure did teach those
bullies not to pick on Alvin. My family mi familia. Wow this isnt as easy
as I thought. Im gonna call Merc.
Nobody answered. I think Ill take this time to plug The Wrath of
the Yum-Yum Tum-Tums 8: Johnny takes Manhattan. This is going to be the big
one. From here on in everythings going to be leading up to this spectacular
issue. Im telling the truth when you read this baby your gonna say I bet
this would have been a lot better if I read the first seven. Well your right
it would have.
The severe inauguration of Pat Buchanan
As my first act as president I will kill all the hippies
Man am I glad Pats gonna be president
BAM
Damn psychos always killing the extremists
WOW THE OSCARS ARE ON!!!!
oh wait a second *CLICK*
yeah a cops marathon sweet sweet fox
ride the snake ride the kings highway baby ride the snake hes old and his
skin is cold. Im gonna try Mercuri again.
When will the phones evil ringing end?
fuck this I quit.
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