.y. .y. .y. .y.
o o o o .y.
l l l l o
k .y.k k k l
l o l l l kl sheer beauty.
o l o o o o
.y. k.y. .y. .y. .y.
oh wow... i should do this for a living.
-this is my y0lk...------------------------------------------------------
did I mention I love you as I love my own mother?
-lets get started------------------------------------------------------
First of all, you dont know me if youre like most people... see, the way
I figure it, there are billions of people in the world and only
a few know me... certainly not more than three. So, lets assume for a
second that youre reading what Im sayin simply because it says y0lk in
the file name.
-dafuck was the point of that?-------------------------------------------
dont know.
-story about quiche------------------------------------------------------
i THINK you pronounce that KEESH, but i dont know, and i prolly never will...
FUCK THE WORLD 3133t enuff for ya?
okay, so this guy well call him Rodham walks into a room, and he sits down
next to his quiche. this guys prolly different that most guys, because he
doesnt eat quiche, he BONDS with it. This is how the conversation
progresses:
Rodham: hey man... hows it goin?
Quiche: authors note: hey, rodham and quiche have the same amount of
letters!@*! and I didnt even plan it that way!@!... now
all this stuff will line up real nice... w0o0o0o!@
Quiche: ...
Rodham: got anything youd like to... SAY!!@?
Quiche: ...
Rodham: cmon man... ANYTHING?
Quiche: ...
Rodham: dont even TRY to pull this one again...
Quiche: ...
Rodham: man... a simple THANK YOU would be FINE
Quiche: ...
Rodham: fuck... why are you actin like I didnt give you any beer?
Quiche: ...
Rodham: man... im gonna stop wastin beer on you if you dont appreciate
it...
Quiche: ...
Rodham: ::leaves in frustration::
-are you kidding me?-----------------------------------------------------
hey man... that guy rodham... he really DID give his quiche beer...
-this is old now---------------------------------------------------------
how to make your own flowers that smell good:
stuff you need:
colored paper
duct tape
pipe cleaners
flower pot or a cup
dirt kitty litter
TEEN SPIRIT deodorant
an acid aab or two
how to do it:
1 take some colored paper, and RIP the SHIT out of it, until it looks like
pretty little flower petals.
2 take the duct tape, make a ball.
3 stick the petals to the ball of duct tape.
4 put a pipe cleaner in the duct tape ball.
5 fill the flower pot with dirt, and stick the flower in it.
6 fuck... i forgot to tell you to put the deodorant all over the paper...
you can try to do it at this point, but it would have been a lot easier
BEFORE you ripped it up.
7 good, now drop acid.
8 isnt that a FUCKING PRETTY FLOWER?!?!?
NOTE: i cant be held responsible if you get arrested, your flower
looks like its melting or anything... deal with it.
-gourds------------------------------------------------------------------
you prolly dont know what a gourd is... well, get ready, because youre
about to find out...
ya know when you were a little kid, and you went pumpkin-getting, and they had
those fuckin weird looking pumpkins pumpkins with deformities and stuff?
those are gourds.
NOTE: some pumpkin farms are built on nuclear waste... in this case, these
they really ARE pumpkins... do not be alarmed.
-that had a point, you say?----------------------------------------------
yep... now Im going to tell you what to do with gourds...
-WHaT To Do WiTH GouRDS--------------------------------------------------
okay, this may not seem worth it, but remember, you can usually get gourds
pretty cheap, because hey, who wants a deformed pumpkin?
1 Get a gourd... HELL, get SEVERAL gourds, theyre cheap, remember
2 Bring it home, and wait for six months or so.
3 Pick up the gourd, and shake it.
4 Pretty cool, huh?
NOW, the explanation, for those of you who dont care enough to try it:
when you have a gourd for a LoOoOoNG time dont ASK me how I know this,
it turns into a rattle... when you pick it up, and shake it, it has
stuff inside that WASNT THERE BEFORE, that shakes around...
-WHaT To Do WiTH GouRDS iF You WoRSHiP SaTaN-----------------------------
steps one and two are the same as they were in WHaT To Do WiTH GouRDS, so
I wont repeat them... Ill just start with three... kay?
3 Soak the gourd in gasoline.
4 Drill a hole in the gourd, and put a large explosive charge inside.
5 Put a fuse on your explosive charge, and put the whole thing on the
doorstep of someone you hate.
6 knock on the door, and light the fuse.
7 Watch as flaming pellets are embedded into the flesh of your arch enemy.
8 Run like hell.
-how long are these things supposed to be, anyway?-----------------------
at this point you have two options.... ill include instructions on the
execution of each.
1 keep writing, phrog... youre FUNNY AS HELL...
INSTRUCTIONS: okay... just keep reading there cant be too much more anyway
2 so far, im not impressed.
INSTRUCTIONS: bail out now, it cant get much better from here.
3 this shit sux0rs... i cant believe ive read this phar...
INSTRUCTIONS: not 3133t enough for ya? well... PHUCK Y0U. Stop Reading.
-my name is Jake---------------------------------------------------------
Hi, my name is Jake... I was born in a lumber yard when I was Six,
and I had to kill squirrels with my pellet gun to stay alive. My father
was a pimp, and my mother was a lumberjack. Im real fucked up now, because
I think I was born when I was six. Although I am a male, I have breast
cancer. I dont have any money, and I dont know where to sleep tonight...
Can I come over your house?
THE END
DISCLAIMER: this story has no plot, no climax, no point, and is basically
pretty bad, but you cant blame me, because i.... have a disclaimer.
oh yeah, and that breast cancer reference... that wasnt meant to offen--
actually... if youre offended by that, fuck you... you dont deserve to
be alive.
-aight... that was REAL bad----------------------------------------------
nod... i got bored, and I ended it...
-this is the last little divider thing-----------------------------------
i never had oral sex with a eleven year old.
..fin..
-unnecessary note-------------------------------------------------------
lieutenant halftrack never went bald only slightly insane.
GOSH, I LOVE BEING A HEAD SAMURAI.
useful note: sphrog stands for spacephrog
-index------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
65 UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME. creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
67 shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles ideal
68 some puppet plays phorce
69 ... Hello operator ... mutter
70 i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. traq
71 battle of the ants rage
72 fun on the phone ideal
73 yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries.. handle
74 i love you as my own mother sphrog
TT
--infoez--------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
heil creed. HEIL! HEIL!
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for y0lkb0t on irc, efnet. type @y0lk number for y0lks.
OR... ATTENTION y0lkies! join the y0lk mailing list! chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too! email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
subscribe y0lk in the body of the message.
dont you feel like youre getting a little too much information here?
couldnt we just show our ftp site and shut up? its just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
email spacephrog sphrog at mmccurdy@nexxus.novasys.com
o o o o .y.
l l l l o
k .y.k k k l
l o l l l kl sheer beauty.
o l o o o o
.y. k.y. .y. .y. .y.
oh wow... i should do this for a living.
-this is my y0lk...------------------------------------------------------
did I mention I love you as I love my own mother?
-lets get started------------------------------------------------------
First of all, you dont know me if youre like most people... see, the way
I figure it, there are billions of people in the world and only
a few know me... certainly not more than three. So, lets assume for a
second that youre reading what Im sayin simply because it says y0lk in
the file name.
-dafuck was the point of that?-------------------------------------------
dont know.
-story about quiche------------------------------------------------------
i THINK you pronounce that KEESH, but i dont know, and i prolly never will...
FUCK THE WORLD 3133t enuff for ya?
okay, so this guy well call him Rodham walks into a room, and he sits down
next to his quiche. this guys prolly different that most guys, because he
doesnt eat quiche, he BONDS with it. This is how the conversation
progresses:
Rodham: hey man... hows it goin?
Quiche: authors note: hey, rodham and quiche have the same amount of
letters!@*! and I didnt even plan it that way!@!... now
all this stuff will line up real nice... w0o0o0o!@
Quiche: ...
Rodham: got anything youd like to... SAY!!@?
Quiche: ...
Rodham: cmon man... ANYTHING?
Quiche: ...
Rodham: dont even TRY to pull this one again...
Quiche: ...
Rodham: man... a simple THANK YOU would be FINE
Quiche: ...
Rodham: fuck... why are you actin like I didnt give you any beer?
Quiche: ...
Rodham: man... im gonna stop wastin beer on you if you dont appreciate
it...
Quiche: ...
Rodham: ::leaves in frustration::
-are you kidding me?-----------------------------------------------------
hey man... that guy rodham... he really DID give his quiche beer...
-this is old now---------------------------------------------------------
how to make your own flowers that smell good:
stuff you need:
colored paper
duct tape
pipe cleaners
flower pot or a cup
dirt kitty litter
TEEN SPIRIT deodorant
an acid aab or two
how to do it:
1 take some colored paper, and RIP the SHIT out of it, until it looks like
pretty little flower petals.
2 take the duct tape, make a ball.
3 stick the petals to the ball of duct tape.
4 put a pipe cleaner in the duct tape ball.
5 fill the flower pot with dirt, and stick the flower in it.
6 fuck... i forgot to tell you to put the deodorant all over the paper...
you can try to do it at this point, but it would have been a lot easier
BEFORE you ripped it up.
7 good, now drop acid.
8 isnt that a FUCKING PRETTY FLOWER?!?!?
NOTE: i cant be held responsible if you get arrested, your flower
looks like its melting or anything... deal with it.
-gourds------------------------------------------------------------------
you prolly dont know what a gourd is... well, get ready, because youre
about to find out...
ya know when you were a little kid, and you went pumpkin-getting, and they had
those fuckin weird looking pumpkins pumpkins with deformities and stuff?
those are gourds.
NOTE: some pumpkin farms are built on nuclear waste... in this case, these
they really ARE pumpkins... do not be alarmed.
-that had a point, you say?----------------------------------------------
yep... now Im going to tell you what to do with gourds...
-WHaT To Do WiTH GouRDS--------------------------------------------------
okay, this may not seem worth it, but remember, you can usually get gourds
pretty cheap, because hey, who wants a deformed pumpkin?
1 Get a gourd... HELL, get SEVERAL gourds, theyre cheap, remember
2 Bring it home, and wait for six months or so.
3 Pick up the gourd, and shake it.
4 Pretty cool, huh?
NOW, the explanation, for those of you who dont care enough to try it:
when you have a gourd for a LoOoOoNG time dont ASK me how I know this,
it turns into a rattle... when you pick it up, and shake it, it has
stuff inside that WASNT THERE BEFORE, that shakes around...
-WHaT To Do WiTH GouRDS iF You WoRSHiP SaTaN-----------------------------
steps one and two are the same as they were in WHaT To Do WiTH GouRDS, so
I wont repeat them... Ill just start with three... kay?
3 Soak the gourd in gasoline.
4 Drill a hole in the gourd, and put a large explosive charge inside.
5 Put a fuse on your explosive charge, and put the whole thing on the
doorstep of someone you hate.
6 knock on the door, and light the fuse.
7 Watch as flaming pellets are embedded into the flesh of your arch enemy.
8 Run like hell.
-how long are these things supposed to be, anyway?-----------------------
at this point you have two options.... ill include instructions on the
execution of each.
1 keep writing, phrog... youre FUNNY AS HELL...
INSTRUCTIONS: okay... just keep reading there cant be too much more anyway
2 so far, im not impressed.
INSTRUCTIONS: bail out now, it cant get much better from here.
3 this shit sux0rs... i cant believe ive read this phar...
INSTRUCTIONS: not 3133t enough for ya? well... PHUCK Y0U. Stop Reading.
-my name is Jake---------------------------------------------------------
Hi, my name is Jake... I was born in a lumber yard when I was Six,
and I had to kill squirrels with my pellet gun to stay alive. My father
was a pimp, and my mother was a lumberjack. Im real fucked up now, because
I think I was born when I was six. Although I am a male, I have breast
cancer. I dont have any money, and I dont know where to sleep tonight...
Can I come over your house?
THE END
DISCLAIMER: this story has no plot, no climax, no point, and is basically
pretty bad, but you cant blame me, because i.... have a disclaimer.
oh yeah, and that breast cancer reference... that wasnt meant to offen--
actually... if youre offended by that, fuck you... you dont deserve to
be alive.
-aight... that was REAL bad----------------------------------------------
nod... i got bored, and I ended it...
-this is the last little divider thing-----------------------------------
i never had oral sex with a eleven year old.
..fin..
-unnecessary note-------------------------------------------------------
lieutenant halftrack never went bald only slightly insane.
GOSH, I LOVE BEING A HEAD SAMURAI.
useful note: sphrog stands for spacephrog
-index------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
65 UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME. creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
67 shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles ideal
68 some puppet plays phorce
69 ... Hello operator ... mutter
70 i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. traq
71 battle of the ants rage
72 fun on the phone ideal
73 yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries.. handle
74 i love you as my own mother sphrog
TT
--infoez--------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
heil creed. HEIL! HEIL!
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for y0lkb0t on irc, efnet. type @y0lk number for y0lks.
OR... ATTENTION y0lkies! join the y0lk mailing list! chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too! email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
subscribe y0lk in the body of the message.
dont you feel like youre getting a little too much information here?
couldnt we just show our ftp site and shut up? its just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
email spacephrog sphrog at mmccurdy@nexxus.novasys.com
log in to add a comment.