--y0lk 68: some puppet plays---------------------------------------------
time for the ass-key.
.oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
,00
,00
.. .. ,,00. .. .. ..
00 .
00 .
00 .
,00
S 00 .
00 .. .
.. . 00 . . .
.. ,00 ..o
,00
00
. 00 ,
. .azkiibrta2. .
look at that big, beautiful ascii. y0lk-bl3ss1ngs go to... umm...
some wacky guy in tatoo.
argh, i forgot his nick already.
--anyway. intro time!-----------------------------------------------------
i go to church.
*every* sunday.
dont ask me why. my father comes from a family of scrict, practicing
presbyterians. so, we go to the presbyterian church every sunday. my mother
comes from taiwan, and she didnt really have much religion above your every-
day customs/rituals or something. like eating a certain meal of rice on a
certain day. shes a presbyterian too, now.
i dont really like going to church, but ive been forced to go ever
since i was born. hmph. its interesting, watching them presbyterians and
their rituals, and i usually find something to occupy myself with during this
time.
right now i am reading the book of revelation. as a subgenius
minister another reason i feel out-of-place in church, i feel i should know
what other religions are saying about X-day the apocolypse.
last week, however, i wrote puppet plays. my sister has these little
fuzzy friends, as she calls them, that shes had since she was but a young
child. shes 14 now. we had to put on a puppet show for the 3-year-old son
of some friends of our family his birthday.
the cast:
polly, the pelican
daisy, the panda
cheesy, the mouse
funky, the monkey
ralph, the black bear.
the childs name is matthew.
the following is a product of one of these sunday mornings. all
ereet spellings are transcribed straight from the original pencil.
--first try---------------------------------------------------------------
cheesy: y0e. eye yAm a m0use, y0e.
funky: yEp. yew sURe aRe.
polly: wEwP.
ralph: DeR ... eYe Be a BeAr.
daisy: HeY-0. eye yAm a BeaR, tew. a PanN-dAh.
ralph: HEy, tHaT pandah acti0n is puRty RaD, y0e.
daisy: Yah, eye be mOre rAd thaN yEw.
my sister scribbles in: try it again seriously
--second try--------------------------------------------------------------
why is the rain blue?
a puppet play
by rev. c. chris erway, esq.
cheesy: why is the rain blue?
funky: just because, dumbo.
finis
my sister pokes me in the ribs
--third try---------------------------------------------------------------
ALF for president
funky: ALF is my hero.
cheesy: me tew.
ralph: lets make him president.
daisy: okay. look, a voting booth.
funky: yay.
the end
sister again shoves, then writes: the search for the birthday present
--fourth try--------------------------------------------------------------
The Search for matthews present.
cheesy: wheres matts present, yo?
ralph: umm.
daisy: i ate it.
funky: dumbo.
the end
sister gets mad
--fifth try and, luckily, the last--------------------------------------
the search for presents, part deux
cheesy: okay, i have a knife.
daisy: ouch.
funky: here is the present.
daisy: oww. you cut open my stomach.
cheesy: here ya go. right next to the pancreas.
Fin
--man. those are bad.------------------------------------------------------
that last one was a bit strange. church has that effect on me.
please email me. my email address is: phorce@openix.com
the eleet y0lk ftp site is, no matter what creed says,
ftp://ftp.openix.com/ftp/phorce/y0lk
--index---------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
65 UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME. creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
67 shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles ideal
68 some puppet plays phorce
TT
--infoez---------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
creed is god. get used to it.
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for y0lkbot on irc, efnet.
email me phorce at phorce@openix.com.
time for the ass-key.
.oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
,00
,00
.. .. ,,00. .. .. ..
00 .
00 .
00 .
,00
S 00 .
00 .. .
.. . 00 . . .
.. ,00 ..o
,00
00
. 00 ,
. .azkiibrta2. .
look at that big, beautiful ascii. y0lk-bl3ss1ngs go to... umm...
some wacky guy in tatoo.
argh, i forgot his nick already.
--anyway. intro time!-----------------------------------------------------
i go to church.
*every* sunday.
dont ask me why. my father comes from a family of scrict, practicing
presbyterians. so, we go to the presbyterian church every sunday. my mother
comes from taiwan, and she didnt really have much religion above your every-
day customs/rituals or something. like eating a certain meal of rice on a
certain day. shes a presbyterian too, now.
i dont really like going to church, but ive been forced to go ever
since i was born. hmph. its interesting, watching them presbyterians and
their rituals, and i usually find something to occupy myself with during this
time.
right now i am reading the book of revelation. as a subgenius
minister another reason i feel out-of-place in church, i feel i should know
what other religions are saying about X-day the apocolypse.
last week, however, i wrote puppet plays. my sister has these little
fuzzy friends, as she calls them, that shes had since she was but a young
child. shes 14 now. we had to put on a puppet show for the 3-year-old son
of some friends of our family his birthday.
the cast:
polly, the pelican
daisy, the panda
cheesy, the mouse
funky, the monkey
ralph, the black bear.
the childs name is matthew.
the following is a product of one of these sunday mornings. all
ereet spellings are transcribed straight from the original pencil.
--first try---------------------------------------------------------------
cheesy: y0e. eye yAm a m0use, y0e.
funky: yEp. yew sURe aRe.
polly: wEwP.
ralph: DeR ... eYe Be a BeAr.
daisy: HeY-0. eye yAm a BeaR, tew. a PanN-dAh.
ralph: HEy, tHaT pandah acti0n is puRty RaD, y0e.
daisy: Yah, eye be mOre rAd thaN yEw.
my sister scribbles in: try it again seriously
--second try--------------------------------------------------------------
why is the rain blue?
a puppet play
by rev. c. chris erway, esq.
cheesy: why is the rain blue?
funky: just because, dumbo.
finis
my sister pokes me in the ribs
--third try---------------------------------------------------------------
ALF for president
funky: ALF is my hero.
cheesy: me tew.
ralph: lets make him president.
daisy: okay. look, a voting booth.
funky: yay.
the end
sister again shoves, then writes: the search for the birthday present
--fourth try--------------------------------------------------------------
The Search for matthews present.
cheesy: wheres matts present, yo?
ralph: umm.
daisy: i ate it.
funky: dumbo.
the end
sister gets mad
--fifth try and, luckily, the last--------------------------------------
the search for presents, part deux
cheesy: okay, i have a knife.
daisy: ouch.
funky: here is the present.
daisy: oww. you cut open my stomach.
cheesy: here ya go. right next to the pancreas.
Fin
--man. those are bad.------------------------------------------------------
that last one was a bit strange. church has that effect on me.
please email me. my email address is: phorce@openix.com
the eleet y0lk ftp site is, no matter what creed says,
ftp://ftp.openix.com/ftp/phorce/y0lk
--index---------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave trip
52 ode to my feet creed
53 hopelessly lost poots
54 the schoolhouse r0x! phorce
55 campbells chicken-noodle soup omen of death creed
56 dead cats juke
57 my inner taco handle
58 my place, or yours? mercuri
59 how to really use that spiffy monopoly money lumpy
60 struggle wif the giant pink elephant lucifer
61 why did the chicken cross the road? insane
62 y0lk test pattern mutter
63 ELiTE LiT from the master himself creed
64 creeds k-rad lit archives, volume two creed
65 UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME. creed
66 how y0lk saved my life sorta creed
67 shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles ideal
68 some puppet plays phorce
TT
--infoez---------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
creed is god. get used to it.
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for y0lkbot on irc, efnet.
email me phorce at phorce@openix.com.
log in to add a comment.