--y0lk-----------------------------------------------------------------------
y0lk 51: the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave
Dave turned on his external modem.
Loading his pirated copy of Qmodem Pro, Dave was automatically connected to
his Internet provider, which was autodialed in his init string.
b33p b30p bl30p b000000333333sssshhhhhhhhh!@
Ahh .. music to my ears.
login : w4r3zd00d
password : kr4dw4r3z
Welcome to Elitenet, w4r3zd00d.
You have mail.
Screw muh mail .. i want w4r3z!@
bash /u8/w/w4r3zd00d cd .w4r3z
bash /u8/w/w4r3zd00d/.w4r3z ls
kradwarez.zip morewarez.zip elitewarez.zip /0-daywarez
bash /u8/w/w4r3zd00d/.w4r3z cd 0-daywarez
bash /u8/w/w4r3zd00d/.w4r3z sz *.zip
an hour passes ...
bash /u8/w/w4r3zd00d/.w4r3z logout
NO CARRIER
Dave dug into his warez. All sorts of warez. Games, apps, cracks, oh, he
had it all. Dave was happy. Then, Daves phone rang.
Uhm .. y0e?
y0e, Dave. Something wrong?
No .. just not used to talking to people. Ya know. Like, live voices.
This is Satan, Dave.
Not another lame, inside-jokey Satan story ..
Yup.
Just what do you want, you big k-rad guy you. If its my warez, baq off,
cant have em.
I dont want your warez. But I do want to talk to you about them.
Im listening, d00d.
Dave, warez are bad. B4D B4D B4D. You dont wanna go to Hell, do you?
Id make you my personal ass scratcher.
3l173!@ Waitll I tell the guys in 0day3l1tekr4dw4r3z i get to
scratch Satans ass!@
Uhm .. no. I only said that to get your hopes up.
But, I L0V3 you, man ...
Yer not touching my ass, Dave.
Dave begins to sob uncontrollably.
Knock it off, before I h4x0r your account.
Dave promptly shut up.
Dave, if you dont stop your bad warez habits, Im going to have to
torment you in Hell.
You cant do shi to me ... I lived through the Great Warez Depression
of 92, the Warez Market Crash of 94 .. Ill be fine.
As you wish, Dave. Ill just torment you now. Goodbye, Dave.
Uhm, how ya gonna --
cliq!@
Dave shrugged off his brush with such massive eliteness, and went back to his
warez. After couriering his new warez to 10 warez boards, he signed back on
his Internet account.
login : w4r3zd00d
password : kr4dw4r3z
Login Incorrect
Damn Satan .. thinks he can take awat my account. FUQ H1M. Ill just
make another.
Dave quickly hacked a new account.
bash /u2/e/el173guy irc
Daved logged onto irc, and headed for one of his favorite channels.
P /j gimm3-d3m-f4zt-w4r3z
*** Sorry, cannot join gimm3-d3m-f4zt-w4r3z. Banned from channel
FUQ!@
P /j w4r3z-666
*** Joining w4r3z-666
users : satan- s474n SaTaN Saten-dCC Natas Satan 3l173guy
Satan h0h0h0 ... y3w c4nn0t ezc4p3 m3!@
3l173guy n00000000000000000000000!@@*DGHTR@
Creed woke up screaming, in a pool of his own sweat.
--index----------------------------------------------------------------------
.db.
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 apples, oranges, and pears phorce
36 the little cultist that couldnt creed
37 careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate creed
38 snowday phorce
39 creed is g0d creed
40 big hurt is ruler of the earth bighurt
41 dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue bighurt
42 bbs softwares/internet hooch
43 abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! creed
44 mogels own very special personalized 1 y0lk issue phorce
45 your burro is no jackass! creed
46 rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars creed
47 outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers creed
48 Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off creed
49 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life creed
50 the best of the worst creed
51 the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave creed
TT
--infoez---------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk! beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz hes just so damn wacky-ass.
email creed@nexxus.novasys.com to contact me. yep.