august '95 informational file by #28
august '95 informational file by #28
the mOp inf0 fIle.
28
this month, Bob the Janitor had to go the Minnesot
a before he got a chance
to write up the info file. Because of this, I 28
get to write it. And,
unlike Bobtj, I havent a remaining shred of self-
control. Hence, this info
file may be cooler than a typical info file.
ps: Bedlam has several bizarre
masturbation techniques. Dont ask him about it th
ough.
news :
1. This month, we aquired several new me
mbers. 1st, Blenderhead joined
up. We dont have anything from him yet, but I guess he
joined to
do rip. Next, Peak Velocity joined. Hes going to do rip
s, and if
all goes well, ie, a little ass kissing takes place he
will become
our new Galapagos Islands sandwich-maker. Basically, thi
s job involves
making us sandwiches. Hmm. Now that I think of it, the t
itle is a
a little absurd, when one considers that he, like a lot
of us, lives
in Illinois. Finally, Saint Sinner hooked up with us thi
s month.
Hes another kick arse ansi guy. Hes also gonna be our
hair stylist.
2. Why yes, they ARE all in union. lICk
m3.
3. My new chair has lumbar support.
4. We lied. JiffyView 2000 will be out n
ext month. Vital Chaos, our
intrepid young coder, got sick. He also uses a spoon to
fondle his
testicles. I guess that makes him multi-talented. He w
as unable
to finish the job, but if he doesnt finish it soon, we
re gonna
kick his ass.
5. Speaking of members who need their as
ses kicked, our own co-founder,
Bob the Janitor sucks crank. He only had one ansi, and o
ne rip. And
I had to finish the rip for him. Thats why its cool. A
nyway, Tweed
and I are going to inflict some sort of cruel and unsual
punishment
on him. Maybe his family too.
6. Slyder!!!! Slyder joined up with us l
ast month, but we havent been
able to get in touch with him. So, hey Slyder!
Call SOE or something.
7. Welp, the long-awaited results of our
offcial mOp survey are in:
from a nation-wide telephone poll, conducted by
myself
Member who kicks the most ass: 28
Member most likely to succeed in constructing a
3 larger-than-life
cheez-wIZ bunny: Psion
Member who kicks the most ass with the least amm
ount of effort: 28
Member who is most likely to become a contributi
ng member of society,
dispite his alternative lifestyle and promiscuous beha
viour: bEdlAM
Member who is most likely to win an internationa
l bread game
tournament: Tweed
Member who is most likely to sport red knee-high
s and a fishnet bra
on the Jerry Springer show: Turtle not
e: Psion was a close runner-up
Member with the most sensitive nipples:
Bob the Janitor
Member who appears to be the offspring of the Ki
ng of Pop Michael
Jackon and RuPaul: bEdlAM
Member with the most finesse and overall skill w
ith anything: 28
Member most likely to be sharing a tender moment
with a canine at any
given moment: Vital Chaos
Member most capable of becoming a stripper with
the psuedonym pistol
packin Pete: 28
acronym o dA mONth :
the official mOp acronym for july comes to us from numbe
r 28:
.. mexicans on parole ..
psIOns pICk :
this month, because of a lack of time, we were unable
to
get a hold of psIOn before releasing. Therefore, Ill b
e
in charge of this segment, just this once
ansi: one of mine.
rip : the backround font on bobtjs
rip. done by myself
vga : its safe to assume that had I
done a vga, it wouldve
been the best, despite the fact that I have am w
ithout
any sort of experience in this area.
closing notes :
Umm. If this info file seemed a bit self-indulgent, then
its probably
just you, because I was being outstandingly modest in ev
ery aspect of
it.