24
info file art by k1,tk,bs,mfs
is
. fuel 24 december 2o17 .
*o/* End of the year, another Fuelpack. Number 24. Our 4th pack in 2017.
Its been a strange year. With arguments and drama. Tears and laughter.
The needle returns to the start of the song and we all sing along like
before.
Hope you enjoy the pack. And that being said, ill leave the mike open
for mel farr suppastar, exquisite nfo file writer de luxe.
the knight
i. Manhattans Burgers, Brussels, Belgium.
A quiet day for the midscale burger outlet. No one paid much attention to the
man who walked in quietly in a suit and trenchcoat. No one minded that his
face was covered almost entirely by a beanie that said ACiD on it. He
approached the counter.
Oui, que sera-t-il?
The man pulled out an enormous gun.
Donnez-moi tous vos motherfucking cheeseburgers!!!
Sir?
Donne moi tous tes cheeseeburgers ou tu sera mort
Customers ran out screaming as the staff worked hurriedly to fill the mans
satchel full of delicious cheeseburgers. Satisfied, he turned to leave.
Monsieur?
Oui? ----------------------
ACiD
Juste une
question.
Ou as-tu eu
cette arme?
Im a goddamn
American - I
came out of my outlines: burps
mothers vagina goosebag: melfarr
clutching a
rifle. Its in
the constitution. Have a nice day.
ii. Los Angeles, WhateverCon
A fish spends their entire life surrounded by water, and thus never knows it
unless they leave its comforting embrace. For a human, the atmosphere is
the same. But for the animated penguin known as Pinguino, the thing that
surrounds her, the thing that gives her life, the thing she never lives
without is people she knows when you have over 100000 of them, words like
friends lose meaning. So while most scenesters would get frustrated being
constantly surrounded by other humans beings, Pinguino doesnt even notice.
What she did notice was a very particular encrypted message. A message that
considering the circumstances, she did not need to decipher. In her mind,
one word: fuelsmoot.
Pinguino uttered a phrase she had never uttered before in her entire life.
I have to leave this con early.
iii. the outback, down under
Savage had some juicy roo on the barbie, a fosters in hand, and was busy
whittling down a platypus bill when his bitzer Mila ran up to him.
Oh, what is it old girl?
Bark Bark Mila Said.
Holy dooley, a fuelsmoot, now? This better not be another furphy! Im no
galah, ya know?
Bark Bark Mila said.
Alright, pack me budgie smugglers, sounds like a fair dinkum bucks night t
me.
Bark Bark Mila Said
Be a sook will ya, of course its back of bourke, but itll be nothin but
larrikins and figjams once were out the divvy van if you catch mdrift.
iv. brussels
It was an unusually cold day in Brussels. Novembers are normally mild and
gray but this one was cold. -4, -5 perhaps. The sky was gray. A light cover
of snow blanketed the ancient thoroughfares of the capitale de la bande
dessinee. Knocturnal drove his skoda along Rue Dethy peering for the tiny
signal he was looking for. It was a shame Burps was such a master of
small-scale. If it had been anyone else, the signal would have been more than
2 inches across. Finally he stopped in the middle of a nondescript block,
quaint brownstones surrounding him. He squinted and saw on the ground a small
pixelated logo: Chester. Whipping out his phone, Knocturnal up the Cuddli
app and typed in never forget. A ding and the ground lowered beneath him,
the Skoda sank into the ground.
v. ???
Things are going poorly. Tk stated there is no denying that things will
never be the same since Chester died. Many thought that FUEL would die with
him, but not only did FUEL survive, we came out swinging. Our first act
post-Chester was to declare war on AMiSH.
A war that we can win, if we just deploy more ansi artists to the fields.
We need more ansi artists, and more ansis, and more member boards. Mel Farr
said.
Damnit Mel, Burps said you told us war with AMSHiT would be easy. That it
would be over before it started. That we would be declared the kings of ANSi.
That we would be Ansi Creators in Demand! But all that has happened is spilt
pixels and crashed pablodraw servers.
We can still win! Mel shouted more importantly we have to win. If we give
up, before we know it, everyone will be using Gif2Ansi and copying
DuoDaughters. Im not going to let that happen.
Youre like every other American Nail said you think if you just throw
enough ansis at another group you can conquer them. Weve already thrown more
ansi at the scene in the last 3 packs than we did in the last 20 years. You
need a plan Mel. Without a plan, were just drawing logos for boards that are
down. Lemme ask you a question. Wheres BOBAFETT?? Wheres BOBAFETT?
Bobafett is chained to a server rack in the packet mines of FB The
Necrofiliac-Skeleton-Bot reported.
We cant beat AMiSH or save Boba without a plan!
A plan?...a plan?....
We need something AvengingAngel said ...anything.
maybe I can help... Propane spoke up I do have a plan. And it involves...
The ancient wooden door creaked open. A thin man with a trenchcoat and ACiD
beanie walked in. Knocturnal has joined the FuelsMoot announced the talking
skeleton sometimes known as Necrofiliac.
Holy shit Tk said he brought us all burgers!
No. Knoc sighed these are all for propane.
Propane, Savage asked tell us your plan!
My plan, Propane said was for Knocturnal to bring me cheeseburgers.
Mission accomplished. Im taking a nap!
That was his plan, Tk sighed weve got nothing.
Ive got something Zeus II said ...a story.
Zeus II cleared his throat It began, with the printing of the ACiD beanies.
Nine were given to members of ACiD, seven were sold to n00bs. And three...
three were given as gifts, offerings to members of other groups. But they
were all of them deceived, for another beanie was made. In California in the
labs of the valley of silicon, the dark lord RaDMaN forged in secret a
master beanie, to control all others. And into this beanie he poured his
organization, his dedication, and his willingness to threaten others with
legal action. One beanie to sue them all. One by one the libertarian leaning
scenesters worldwide fell to the power of the beanie. But then, a thing
happened that RaDMaN himself had foreseen. The scene died. A beanie designed
to control the scene through threat of legal action loses power if the scene
itself dies.
So, the beanie became powerless because the scene died.
Yes
But the scene is being reborn...
Yes
and so the beanie is gaining power...
Yes. Rumors grew of a shadow in America, a new scene archive. The beanie
knew. Its time has now come.
Who controls it?
No one.
So it is ours for the taking?!?
Yes
Where is it?
That, said Zeus II is the problem. Its been 20 years. And theres only
one man who knows where it is.
You mean...
Yes, we have to find RaDMaN and get him to tell us where the Beanie is.
But he wont do that!
He might if he sees this...
Pinguino pulled out a briefcase, pressed in the combination and it opened,
bathing the room in a golden hue.
Is that what I
think it is?
. TK asked.
Yes.
Where did you
get that?
Oh, I was at a
party w/ some
friends and...
Forget it
Ping I
know
the
rest.
.... i
Mel, burps said how many stories are we going to rip off/reference in
this tale?
Mel looked at Burps, stonefaced you talking to me? Are you talking to me?
Yes.
Burps, Mel looked at him love means never having to say youre sorry.
That doesnt even make sense.
Ill be back.
Mel, Burps continued this is all your fault. We asked you to write an
infofile last month and you got us involved in a war with AMiSH. we asked you
to write an infofile this month, and all youve come up w/ is an increasingly
desperate series of movie ripoffs.
Theyre not just movie references Mel responded theyre tangentially being
related to the scene....its in Fuels best interests Im sure.
Whats best for Fuel Burps said is to forget all this nonsense about
Beanies, apologize to AMiSH and every other ansi group and go back to our
corner and not make waves in the scene.
Will there be cheeseburgers? Propane asked
Yes.
Works for me. Propane began to walk out.
But thats ridiculous! Thats...
Enough, said TK Ive heard enough. Savage, Grab him.
Savage went towards Mel.
Not him...him and TK nodded at Burps.
The room went quiet.
The Burps I know wouldnt openly criticize another FUEL member, only behind
their back maybe. The Burps I know approves of blatantly derivative literary
works. But most importantly, the Burps I know would fight night and day for
Fuels rightful place in the scene, not cowering in a corner. Friends, this man
is not the Burps we know. Savage, unmask this klootzak
Savage ripped the face of Burps off revealing...MiSFiT
Hahaha lamerz! Pretending to be Burps was a real miss-fit for MiSFiT of
AMiSH!! Im in this BiZiTCH!!! AMiSH WHUT!!! AT THE FUELZM00T WhUT!!! YALL
lOoK LiKe SoMe BelGiAN JuGGaLoZ
You bastard. I knew I smelled the light fragrance of churned butter.
YoU GuYz sUx0R. IvE GoT BoBaFetT cHaInEd uP. WeVe TaKeN BuRps hOsTagE and
Now I knOw aLL aBoUt yOuR StUpiD pLaNz. YoU gUyZ sux0r...
You son of a bitch Propane rushed at Misfit, but he dissolved into a pile
of sand that spelled out AMiSH on the floor.
FUEL Tk said we know what we have to do. We have to get the Beanie, save
BobaFett, save burps, and sue AMiSH out of existence.
The Fuelsmoot was silent
FOR CHESTER! TK shouted.
FOR CHESTER! Fuel shouted.
CONTINUED IN FUEL 25