DARK Information by Multiple Authors
DARK Information by Multiple Authors
Persiste
nce *
Nothing in the world
Can ta
ke the place of persistence.
Talent will
not
Nothing is more comm
on than
Unsuccessful men with tal
ent.
Genius will not
Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not
The world is full of educated der
elicts.
Persistence and determination
Alone are omnipotent.
DARK Illustrated is a fine model for the words
above. Over the past
three years of often times erratic releases, wev
e had the honour of
working with talented artists and experienced mem
bers of the scene. Yet
it was only over the past year that DARKs receiv
ed the recognition and
acclaim it truly deserved.
Note: Canadian efforts are traditionally regar
ded with skepticism,
due largely to the death of Gothic so many years
ago. We were getting
snowed, and not just by our notorious weather.
At the height of our success, we made the tacti
cal error of coasting.
Production dropped as artists went ice fishing o
r so the Senior Staff was
told, quality went for a spin on a low-rider ski
-doo, and two mergers one
generally successful, the other a demonstration o
f the chaos theorem,
threw organnization into a blizzard.
Many believed the decrease in ANSI production s
ignalled the end of the
DARK Age, despite the tremendous accomplishments
of our renowned VGA
department. One came a second blizzard of toe-t
ags. See the special
offer below. Our eskimo shamans informed us, ho
wever, that premature
death was not in the winds.
After crashing yet another funeral gathering, a
nd allowing our VGA crews
rage to dissipate apologies to those harmed in t
heir guerilla strikes,
DARK dug in its snow-shoes and took to the trail
s, determined as ever to
excel again.
We arent in this for the quick rewards. DARK
is here to provide a warm
hearth in a solid igloo for top-notch artists, ei
ther as a waypoint to
other places, or a stronghold to achieve their gr
eatest potentials.
Thank you for reading. Give our polar bear a f
riendly pat before you
move on.
-- xmtrx
25th
Release Info
Were pleased to celebrate our 25th regular rel
ease, a noteworthy point
in DARK history. Despite the skeptics, the cold
shoulders, and even the
hamstringing by an errant publication, we continu
e to showcase our talent.
The enforced diet of pine cones, penguin rump, a
nd Molson Canadian
combined with daily dog-sledding exercises is hel
ping us regain our
strength.
Wed like to thank all of you for your support,
your indifference, and
even your attempts to undermine us. Its driven
the group to work harder,
its given us an excuse to smack you in the face
with a frozen beaver, and
its allowed our polar bear free range to maul yo
u.
Stick around, the best is yet to come! Note:
Were strategically
located in such a way that all members receive an
unlimited supply of
sno-cones. Rad, eh?
Memb
er Activity
The 4th Disciple has come home! After a brief
spin around the block,
hes returned to DARK Illustrated from his previo
us stay with iCE
Advertisements. It took some time to thaw him ou
t, but a couple of shots
and a truckload of waffles covered generously wit
h maple syrup managed to
take the chill from his bones.
Joining the ANSI department this month are Garr
oter of Plain, Kitiara of
RCA, Phantax of Anemia, Spear of ACiD, and Boba F
ett, a promising new
artist.
The VGA department welcomes 3 VGA members to
its prestigious ranks.
It saddens us to inform you that DARKs favorit
e mascot, Arc Angel, has
been stripped of his glorious title. He hasnt b
een around to harass us in
last six months or more, so... *sob*
However! Local personality Mimes said meemz
has been inducted as
DARKs first-ever Cheerleader! Shell be the key
to morale for the group.
Warning: Dont touch her pom-pons.
Recently, the idea for a soft-core porn divisio
n was proposed by Redrum,
a local enthusiast. Upon discovery that all mate
rial was to be displayed
in ASCII, the proposal was quickly dismissed. Th
is is a family group,
after all.
Tomb
stone Sale!
DARK Illustrated is having a factory clearanc
e sale on tombstones!
Has your group died, and not received a proper
funeral? Wed like to
help you! Over the course of three years, weve
collected a large quantity
of funeral pyres, and weve no longer got the sto
rage space to hold them.
So were clearing them out!
Act now, and the first 20 callers will receive
a special bonus offer:
Free toe-tags! As many as you can carry! Differ
ent colors, different
styles, post-dated, pre-dated, dateless! They ma
ke great decorations for
your crypt!
Buy two tombstones and get a eulogy for only a
dollar more!
Better act fast though. The trend for short-liv
ed groups is increasing!
Dept
h.Net
Eclipse-Net, DARKs official message network, i
s being shut down, and
replaced with Depth-Net, a merger of Eclipse-Net
and Syndicate-Net, two
networks that overlapped in too many places.
Full details to follow.
Say
what?!?
DARK Were not very bright. DARK - topic
set by Sinned Soul, dark
Do you know where youre children are? I do.
- VMB Message
Get your PhlegmnMs here! - Captain Fraga
Knuckle
Hi, my name is ... - Carnifex at a mee
t.
You just cant trust a post-it-note. - Xypher
Matryx, packing.
Veni! Vedi! Velcro! I came, I saw, I stuck
around! - Essential
Ob
scenity on IRC one night.
Talking to you is like whack-a-mole. - The X-
Man
So for example, if I were platform diving, it
would be too easy to use
the platform. I should use something harder, lik
e oatmeal, or a pyramid of
cats trained to stand on each others backs or f
or an extra degree of
difficulty, cats that arent trained to stand on
each others backs.
Inte
rnet Affairs.
Each month, DARKs memberlist contains the most
recent list of e-mail
addresses for its artists and staff. If youre
web browsing though, you
can link to these addresses through the upcoming
DARK web page, or The
Lethal Aspect Online, which will be up November 2
nd technical delays.
Packs can be obtained through The Regency, DARK
s Internet HQ, run by
Halaster of Fire. Telnet or FTP to: tregency.res
.cmu.edu
You can also find them on: ftp.cdrom.com : The
Hornet Archives
pubartpacksinc
omingartpacks
wuarchive.wustl.edu
: Washington University
pubMSDOSUPLOAD
Sansicis
tregency.res.cmu.edu
: Halasters Regency
ANSIDARK
As always, members can be found idling, chattin
g, or behaving in bizarre
manners on channel dark, through the IRC.
Chee
rs!
Cheers to Night Stalker for the DARK VMB, its
been a blast!
Cheers to Dark Bob Software, a group similar in
design and releases to
our own local Twisted Fishies, run by Epitaph.
Cheers to Eclipse the art group this ones f
or you.
Cheers to Cthulu for the mention in Product 2.
Cheers to ACiD for Spoon 2, one of the
few utilities theyve released
that works well while being useful at the same ti
me.
Memb
er Boards
Board Name / Sta
tus / SysOp
The Lethal Aspect / DAR
K World Headquarters / Xypher Matr
yx
Murderous Mango / DAR
K Member Board / Master of D
arkness Sight Sound
/ DARK Member Board /
Drone-Fly
The Way Station / DAR
K Member Board / The Anarchi
st
Pulse / DAR
K Member Board / Inertia
The Throne / DAR
K Member Board / Phantom Lor
d
Geronimo coming / DARK Member Board
/ Garroter
Meet
ing of the Mindless
Excerpt from Minutes of the Oct. 27th Meet.
It was an epic moment in DARK history. For the
first time face to face,
Xypher Matryx and Carnifex met. Upon introducing
one another, Xypher
immediately decapitated and dismembered the other
veteran Senior Staffer,
shouting *Thats* for four years of nods, ind
eeds, and unfulfilling
phone sex! Take it with a grain of salt, you bas
tard!
The meeting seemed doomed before it began, unti
l the victims omnipresent
guardians appeared to mend their fallen prodigy
. Restored to health,
Carnifex caught himself from muttering indeed f
or the last time. Xypher
was quickly subdued from further attacks with num
erous bottles of beer.
This confrontation forced Burnout to admit: Xy
phers massacres are the
inspiration to my zinderfine works of art!
Armageddon Donut usurped The Green Hornets tit
le as Mister GQ,
appearing in a full suit-and-tie combo, looking v
ery dapper indeed! The
crinkling of Depends diapers further cramped the
Green Ones style.
Retirement sucks. the veteran artist confided
. My fashion sense has
gone straight to hell.
Greets to all those who showed up: The Green
Hornet, Carnifex, Burnout,
Prison Breaker, Mimes, Velocity, The Red Death, A
rmageddon Donut, Equinox,
and The 4th Disciple. -xm
Conc
lusion
Not bad for a group thats suffered more pitfal
ls than Harry Jr, eh?
All material within these DARK Collecti
ons are copywritten, and use
without permission is a punishable offence. We h
ave the mounties, as well
as insatiably greedy lawyers standing by to take
your case.
* Though I couldnt confirm it, a co-worker w
ho originally obtained
Persistence told me it was written by Winston C
hurchill. Id like to
know for sure, so if you can back this up, or nam
e the original author,
please e-mail me at xmtrx@interlog.com. Thank
you. -xm
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