May 1999 Information File by Cia Intelligence
May 1999 Information File by Cia Intelligence
ar
v o y e
u r
the creators of intense art monthly newsletter
m a y n i
n e t y n i n e
Voyeur Introduction ::
. . written by napalm
Attention Operatives: Release of confidential documents:
Cia Conspiracy 63 has been LEAKED to the general public. Wa
rning: Contents could be damaging to health and cause seve
re eye irritation, abdominal cramping, loose stool, and ev
en death. Classified Contanimation Level: Delta 5 Handle
63 with care. Do not approach from behind. Do not shake. C
ontents under pressure. Pregnant women should not handle C
ia Conspiracy 63 for fear of certain birth defects. The i
nformation was delayed for allowance of the finalization
of testing finals and the discontinuance of incarseration
school. The information contained herein is for your eyes
only. This info file will self-destruct upon ingestion...
Oh, and enjoy the goddamn pack, you wankers.
-Napalm cia 1
Intelligence Division ::
. . written by sodium
Whats up babies, sup sluts. This appears to be my last month as Cia
Intel
Director. I stabbed Savage Dragon in the back of the head and stole h
is
identity.
In all seriousness, Savage Dragon did an excellent job as Ansi Coordi
nator,
some of Cias best ansi packs were developed under his watchful eye,
blah blah
blah. The point is, he is a great artist and was a great staff member
and
hopefully he has fun doing whatever it is he does now. No, of course
I didnt
kill him.
-- sodiumcia
Ansi Division ::
. . written by sodium
As you just read, I stole the position of Ansi Coordinator. Its
mine. hah. MINE DAMMIT. I OWN IT. AND I OWN YOU. AND WHY IS
IT THAT DURING THE GULF WAR I DID NOT HEAR ONE JOKE CALLING
SADDAM HUESSAIN, SODOMY HUESSAIN?! HUH? WHY IS THAT? I MEAN T
HAT IS SO EASY. PEOPLE MADE JOKES LIKE SO-DAMN-HUESSAIN AND LA
ME STUFF LIKE THAT BUT IT DOESNT TAKE A SODIUM GENIUS TO
COME UP WITH SODOMY HUESSAIN. IF YOU MADE A JOKE THAT REFERED
TO SADDAM HUESSAIN AS SODOMY HUESSAIN THEN PLEASE TELL ME
AND I WILL KILL YOU AND STUFF YOU AND PUT YOU ON DISPLAY ON
THE HOOD OF MY CAR SO I WILL LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE BADASS. ...A
ND ILL GET A TATTOO THAT SAYS ICE LOGO MAFIA.
:: The following people are no longer in Cia Ansi ::
Crimson Skye, Ellisdee, Kingpin Octopus, Offset, Prodiac, Prosthe
sis, Sultan, and Zippy. They have all been assasinated, an
d their families.
Oh yes, and I will have a bloody and gut wretching ansi nex
t month.
-- sodiumcia
Hirez Division ::
. . written by ikarus
APRIL, which of course means RAIN. rain is NEAT.
its like little wiglettes of water coming down and
uh knocking people up side their heads.
HAH!
this month was uneventful, I have come to the conclusion
that half the hirez KREW are lazy bums! im gonna have to
start kicking their ass more or something.
DICTATOR SHALL HAVE TO COME BACK.
DICTATOR DECLARES STATE OF GIMME ART. DICTATOR SHALL NOT ALLOW
LAZINESS. LAZINESS WILL BE DEFENDED WITH A LARGE STICK.
OFFENDERS SHALL BE BEAT AND CALLED SUSAN.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE. DOING SO WILL BEG FOR A NEW CELL BUDDY
KNOWN AS BUBBA. WHO HAPPENS TO BE A RATHER LARGE, HEFTY BLACK DUDE.
DICTATOR SHALL AND WILL OVER USE POWER AT ALL TIMES. CIA HOES, GIMME
SOME MOH.
BRING ME FOOD WOMAN. UH UH UH. YES. I AM DICTATOR IKARUS. ROAR.
IKARUScommunicationesrepublic//censordenied.
ikarusismineffect, republic shall deny.
Ascii Division HAZMAT
:: . . written by your sec
ret admirer
...WHO KNOWS.
Music Division CHAO
S :: . . written by pt
2:13 am, College is out, Music is in. Chaos is getting
setup to take over the world! We have several projects un
derway including a phat webpage, MP3 and RA streaming and
a super secret project we call Project-Fuckshitup, i would
tell you about it, but i would have to kill you.Look for
us, were commin.....
pt-out
Literature Division
SCROLLZ :: . . writ
ten by bluedevil
Begin Transmission....
Due to Espionage the Scrollz site suffered heavy damage and a mild se
t back on
release time, because of this Scrollz will release not just one issue
but two.
They are due later this month or possibly the beginning of next.
Efforts are being doubled around the clock. A black ops is now in eff
ect to
hunt down and destroy the saboteurs. All other info remains classifie
d on
Scrollz wereabouts.
End Transmission....
this file packaged with the cia conspiracy number sixty
three
newsletter edited by sodium of cia - voyeur f
ont by argon of ice