--porgie tirebiter...-------------------------------------------------------
.gdSSbg. gdSSbg. .gdSSbg. gdSSbg.
dbb dbb
SD D SD D .gdSg.
P.SP P.SP db
, P
, ,dSSbg. .,gSS
,b .,gSSS
gS.gdSg.
S db
,bgdd P
, P, S.,gSS
, GSS0gdSg. .,gSS ggg,
.gdSg. dSggSSg ,
db SS .gdSg.
P .gdg. db
in this y0lk: db P
apples, oranges, P
and pears. phorce
--...and a girl delighter---------------------------------------------------
luv the ascii? i made it. all by myself. ysee, ascii is easier than
ansi cuz therez no colors involved in ascii. but one could argue that a
GOOD ascii guy should worry about texture, density of those little pixely
thangs, etc.. i only worry about whether or not the borders that the chars
make fit into a form and look good.
dont like it? blame it on the backwards-P/paragraph chars i took out
cuz it didnt post on hoochs TAG board. thats why the circles dont look
round. waak.
--pox on your firstborn, son of god-----------------------------------------
xmas seasons comin soon. feh. being a non-jew, i gotta get gifts for
people.. which gave me a great idea.. the y0lk holiday catalog. yknow, i
could sell y0lk-related products through the mail and make major moolah!
i know that youre thinking, kinda like the bloom county holiday gift
catalog? you betcha!@ exactly like the bloom county gift catalog.
what im thinking is to offer some products, and wait for the mail to
come in. if i get any money, ill do my best to mail a product out to you b4
december 25. if not.. hell, just write the person an i.o.u. or something.
it works if yur jewish, too, cept youre not gonna get your y0lk product
before chanukah is over. note the ch spelling of chanukah. yay.
--on with the l.l. y0lk-----------------------------------------------------
the y0lk 1995
holiday gift-giving catalog
1. your own customized y0lk: yes, you can, for a price, hire y0lk! hell, i
havent asked anyone else in y0lk, but im sure theyre all for it..
the basic idea here is - you send me money, ill write the y0lk, or
give the money to hooch or someone, or someone else, and theyll write
the y0lk.. just for you! remember to include yur name, handle, or
whatever sick fetish you want to see in your y0lk. makes a great gift
for the k-radgod/doodleb0y/hax0r with everything. available in print
and/or electronic form.
2. the y0lk toy: send money and get a cheap plastic toy with the word y0lk
somewhere on it. the more money you send, the nicer the toy will be.
the santa clause: i will not buy sex toys for you.
3. y0lk brand condoms: sheesh, forget i offered it.
4. the y0lk cereal-of-the-month club: you have, no doubt, heard of the neato
fruit-of-the-month, meat-of-the-month, insert-name-of-food-here-
of-the-month clubs. if not, then i will explain. the way it works
for my mom dont try to read any y0m4m4 jokes into that phrase is
that the fruit-of-the-month company sends her catalogs of all the
fruit-plans or something and try to get her to buy, as business gifts,
a fruit-of-the-month-plan for her customers shes a realtor. you
can get a 3-month, 6-month, 9-month, and whole year subscription to
this for your customer, and, of course, they will always remember you
the next time someone asks them, im thiking of buying a house with
someone who gives me free fruit.. got any suggestions? the way MY
cereal-of-the-month club works is that you send me money, ill figger
out how many months of cereal-club action thatll buy, and send out
regular monthly doses of cereal ranging from the strange, hard-to-find
brands to the mainstream cereals. hell, buy this for yourself if you
really like cereal. then you can tell friends, i just got my goat-
herders krispies yesterday, and its grrrreat! be the first on
your block! amaze neighbors! make new friends!
--welp, thats all the products i could think of----------------------------
i hope i actually get some orders. im counting on some regular hah!
reader of y0lk to get it into their noggin to order something. lets see..
its almost sunday, 10 december. so if you want to order you better order
RIGHT NOW.
pricing? umm.. basically, however much money you can fit in an envelope.
the key here is to take the bills no change, damn you and wrap them in paper
so that you cant hold the envelope up to the light and see the money. it
helps if you have security envelopes, too.
cash, please. if you pay by check, make checks payable to debating
whether or not to put name.. ahh, who cares c. erway. thats all youll
need to know.
ookay, well i guess all you need is an address. here ya go. send all
orders to:
y0lk holiday gift-giving extravaganza
p.o. box 4414
warren, nj 07059
--welp, send me moolah------------------------------------------------------
my ultimate goal is for someone to send me money. cmon, ya lil modem
rat, dig deep into yer pockets and send to da 3l33t p.o. box. send dead
animals too. thatll earn tons of free products. death threats will be typed
and published.
--signin off---------------------------------------------------------------
gnight, y0lkf0lks. send me .
--index!@-------------------------------------------------------------------
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan. creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 the y0lk 1995 holiday catalog phorce
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera. woog.
mindcrime is an official y0lk member.
--richard m. nixons ssn is 567-68-0515-------------------------------------
.gdSSbg. gdSSbg. .gdSSbg. gdSSbg.
dbb dbb
SD D SD D .gdSg.
P.SP P.SP db
, P
, ,dSSbg. .,gSS
,b .,gSSS
gS.gdSg.
S db
,bgdd P
, P, S.,gSS
, GSS0gdSg. .,gSS ggg,
.gdSg. dSggSSg ,
db SS .gdSg.
P .gdg. db
in this y0lk: db P
apples, oranges, P
and pears. phorce
--...and a girl delighter---------------------------------------------------
luv the ascii? i made it. all by myself. ysee, ascii is easier than
ansi cuz therez no colors involved in ascii. but one could argue that a
GOOD ascii guy should worry about texture, density of those little pixely
thangs, etc.. i only worry about whether or not the borders that the chars
make fit into a form and look good.
dont like it? blame it on the backwards-P/paragraph chars i took out
cuz it didnt post on hoochs TAG board. thats why the circles dont look
round. waak.
--pox on your firstborn, son of god-----------------------------------------
xmas seasons comin soon. feh. being a non-jew, i gotta get gifts for
people.. which gave me a great idea.. the y0lk holiday catalog. yknow, i
could sell y0lk-related products through the mail and make major moolah!
i know that youre thinking, kinda like the bloom county holiday gift
catalog? you betcha!@ exactly like the bloom county gift catalog.
what im thinking is to offer some products, and wait for the mail to
come in. if i get any money, ill do my best to mail a product out to you b4
december 25. if not.. hell, just write the person an i.o.u. or something.
it works if yur jewish, too, cept youre not gonna get your y0lk product
before chanukah is over. note the ch spelling of chanukah. yay.
--on with the l.l. y0lk-----------------------------------------------------
the y0lk 1995
holiday gift-giving catalog
1. your own customized y0lk: yes, you can, for a price, hire y0lk! hell, i
havent asked anyone else in y0lk, but im sure theyre all for it..
the basic idea here is - you send me money, ill write the y0lk, or
give the money to hooch or someone, or someone else, and theyll write
the y0lk.. just for you! remember to include yur name, handle, or
whatever sick fetish you want to see in your y0lk. makes a great gift
for the k-radgod/doodleb0y/hax0r with everything. available in print
and/or electronic form.
2. the y0lk toy: send money and get a cheap plastic toy with the word y0lk
somewhere on it. the more money you send, the nicer the toy will be.
the santa clause: i will not buy sex toys for you.
3. y0lk brand condoms: sheesh, forget i offered it.
4. the y0lk cereal-of-the-month club: you have, no doubt, heard of the neato
fruit-of-the-month, meat-of-the-month, insert-name-of-food-here-
of-the-month clubs. if not, then i will explain. the way it works
for my mom dont try to read any y0m4m4 jokes into that phrase is
that the fruit-of-the-month company sends her catalogs of all the
fruit-plans or something and try to get her to buy, as business gifts,
a fruit-of-the-month-plan for her customers shes a realtor. you
can get a 3-month, 6-month, 9-month, and whole year subscription to
this for your customer, and, of course, they will always remember you
the next time someone asks them, im thiking of buying a house with
someone who gives me free fruit.. got any suggestions? the way MY
cereal-of-the-month club works is that you send me money, ill figger
out how many months of cereal-club action thatll buy, and send out
regular monthly doses of cereal ranging from the strange, hard-to-find
brands to the mainstream cereals. hell, buy this for yourself if you
really like cereal. then you can tell friends, i just got my goat-
herders krispies yesterday, and its grrrreat! be the first on
your block! amaze neighbors! make new friends!
--welp, thats all the products i could think of----------------------------
i hope i actually get some orders. im counting on some regular hah!
reader of y0lk to get it into their noggin to order something. lets see..
its almost sunday, 10 december. so if you want to order you better order
RIGHT NOW.
pricing? umm.. basically, however much money you can fit in an envelope.
the key here is to take the bills no change, damn you and wrap them in paper
so that you cant hold the envelope up to the light and see the money. it
helps if you have security envelopes, too.
cash, please. if you pay by check, make checks payable to debating
whether or not to put name.. ahh, who cares c. erway. thats all youll
need to know.
ookay, well i guess all you need is an address. here ya go. send all
orders to:
y0lk holiday gift-giving extravaganza
p.o. box 4414
warren, nj 07059
--welp, send me moolah------------------------------------------------------
my ultimate goal is for someone to send me money. cmon, ya lil modem
rat, dig deep into yer pockets and send to da 3l33t p.o. box. send dead
animals too. thatll earn tons of free products. death threats will be typed
and published.
--signin off---------------------------------------------------------------
gnight, y0lkf0lks. send me .
--index!@-------------------------------------------------------------------
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
33 sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan. creed
34 fuck you - a note to all yall on zines hooch
35 the y0lk 1995 holiday catalog phorce
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera. woog.
mindcrime is an official y0lk member.
--richard m. nixons ssn is 567-68-0515-------------------------------------
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