ramblings of a poseur.
--- h3aderz r0ol! ---------------------------------------------------------
dont they tho? this is me, bEdlAM... i know, i havent written for a long
time, basically cuz i babble so much in school that when i go to write an
issue, im all babbled out i think... and i cant really write down what i
babbled about in school cuz well, you wouldve had to be there... if i wrote
it all down youd be like i mustve had to have been there and i wouldve
magically replied yeah i guess so... wow... am i babbling? cool i found
the secret... i have to write them before school like i am now. im sitting
here waiting for my chum Marty. hell be here soon, then ill be off.. but
for now, i have a few minutes
--- yikes! ---------------------------------------------------------------
you know, i actually say yikes. i do. like when something happens and
surprises me, i go yikes!... its scary, cuz its not a word that most high
schoolers use in everyday language. but i do, so what. dont make fun, you
probably have a word that you say that nobody else says. yeah.
--- floogenheim! ---------------------------------------------------------
like that.
you know, i was REALLY thirsty the other day, and we had NOTHING in the house
to drink... not even milk... and i really dont like water... so i got really
pissed off, and i found some stuff that you make iced tea with... so i got
all excited and missed the show i was watching i think seinfeld.. cuz i was
so into making iced tea... cuz first you had to like boil water, then mix it
with this stuff from the package, then stir, blah blah... well anyway, im
reading the instructions and it says add lemon for flavor and im like oh
cool... so i go mom, do we have like, lemon juice or something? cuz i know
we dont have lemons in the house. then i look into the fruit bowl and what
do i spy? A LEMON. thats right, we had a lemon. what the hell possessed
my mother to have ONE LEMON in the house. so i asked her, and she said that
she just thought she might want to use a lemon. i didnt believe her. i
accused her of sucking lemons in her spare time, but she denied it. but i
know the truth. anyway, i put the lemon in the iced tea, then put lots of
ice and sugar in it and put it in the fridge for a few minutes.. i was SOOOO
thirsty... and then i poured a nice tall glass of it, all ready to quench
my thirst. you know what? i drank half of it and it tasted nasty and dried
my mouth out of all its natural fluids. so it was pointless. life.
--- lemons are cool -------------------------------------------------------
arent they tho? yeah. whoa, time warp.. its after school now.. dont you
hate when youre writing a y0lk issue, and your friend marty gets to your
house to pick you up and you dont have time to finish it?
--- whatever, geek --------------------------------------------------------
you know what is the absolute best movie in the world? UHF. If youve never
seen it, youre a freak. stop reading this, and go rent it. its got wierd
al yankovic sp? in it... and michael richards kramer from seinfeld.
kramer rules. in uhf, hes like this janitor.. and he did this big speech
about how life is like a mOp. mOp is cool. kramer and mOp are my two
favorite things, so UHF is the best. and this guy bob the janitor is cool
too, so since kramer is a janitor with a mOp, i love UHF... billy madison was
good too. although unlike uhf, they swore unnecessarily in it.
--- what are you, some anti-swearing guy? ---------------------------------
fuck no. but when a movie is funny without the swearing and then they swear
in it, it ruins it. some movies are only funny because of all the swearing.
but see, UHF didnt swear any worse than these floors are dirty as HELL, and
im not gonna take it any more!... a great family movie.. you can show it
to your 5 year old cousin and hell think its funny and wont go swearing at
your mom. billy madison was great, but they kept swearing, and it really
wasnt necessary... i dunno, its stupid.
--- now i see why you dont write many y0lks ------------------------------
shut up. who is my idol you ask? DANNY BONADUCE. if you dont know who he
is, its that redhead kid on the partridge family. hes like 30 something
now, and he beat up a transvestite, and boxed with donny osman, and wrestled
with christopher knight bobby brady, and fought this guy john kelly, who
is just some dork whos like an anchorman or something... but he kicked
dannys ass cuz hes big and tough, and dannys this 54 redhead italian guy.
so you can see why he had to fight all these guys. any short redheaded
italian has got something to prove. oh yeah, danny also has that talk show
on NBC called Danny! youve seen it i know. and hes got a radio show here
in chicago too. im listening to it right now. he says that carnie wilson
the fat bitch from wilson phillips who also has a talk show shouldnt be
doing an excersise video cuz shes so fat, and some guy got mad at him for
that. duh... whos gonna pay money for an excersise video from a fat singing
talk show host? of course people like richard simmons, so who knows.
--- danny rules -----------------------------------------------------------
i know. if you call my board lans laughter 708-749-9621 blatant plug and
say that, youll get instant access even if you promise to take the board
down and report me to the spa and the fbi and cia and other 3-letter
abbreviations. did you ever say something that you were thinking out loud
when you really didnt want to? my friend was high and he was babbling about
something or other and he goes i shit my pants and then kept talking. i
was amused.
--- are you done yet? -----------------------------------------------------
not quite. i think everyone should go to a green day concert and shoot them.
actually, id rather you kill weezer first. then michael jackson. then
green day. yeah. ph3ar the header.
--- editor in da haus -----------------------------------------------------
that was a pretty neat issue. satan is my master. and that header kicks ass.
--- index -----------------------------------------------------------------
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera. woog.
mindcrime is an official y0lk member.
--- h3aderz r0ol! ---------------------------------------------------------
dont they tho? this is me, bEdlAM... i know, i havent written for a long
time, basically cuz i babble so much in school that when i go to write an
issue, im all babbled out i think... and i cant really write down what i
babbled about in school cuz well, you wouldve had to be there... if i wrote
it all down youd be like i mustve had to have been there and i wouldve
magically replied yeah i guess so... wow... am i babbling? cool i found
the secret... i have to write them before school like i am now. im sitting
here waiting for my chum Marty. hell be here soon, then ill be off.. but
for now, i have a few minutes
--- yikes! ---------------------------------------------------------------
you know, i actually say yikes. i do. like when something happens and
surprises me, i go yikes!... its scary, cuz its not a word that most high
schoolers use in everyday language. but i do, so what. dont make fun, you
probably have a word that you say that nobody else says. yeah.
--- floogenheim! ---------------------------------------------------------
like that.
you know, i was REALLY thirsty the other day, and we had NOTHING in the house
to drink... not even milk... and i really dont like water... so i got really
pissed off, and i found some stuff that you make iced tea with... so i got
all excited and missed the show i was watching i think seinfeld.. cuz i was
so into making iced tea... cuz first you had to like boil water, then mix it
with this stuff from the package, then stir, blah blah... well anyway, im
reading the instructions and it says add lemon for flavor and im like oh
cool... so i go mom, do we have like, lemon juice or something? cuz i know
we dont have lemons in the house. then i look into the fruit bowl and what
do i spy? A LEMON. thats right, we had a lemon. what the hell possessed
my mother to have ONE LEMON in the house. so i asked her, and she said that
she just thought she might want to use a lemon. i didnt believe her. i
accused her of sucking lemons in her spare time, but she denied it. but i
know the truth. anyway, i put the lemon in the iced tea, then put lots of
ice and sugar in it and put it in the fridge for a few minutes.. i was SOOOO
thirsty... and then i poured a nice tall glass of it, all ready to quench
my thirst. you know what? i drank half of it and it tasted nasty and dried
my mouth out of all its natural fluids. so it was pointless. life.
--- lemons are cool -------------------------------------------------------
arent they tho? yeah. whoa, time warp.. its after school now.. dont you
hate when youre writing a y0lk issue, and your friend marty gets to your
house to pick you up and you dont have time to finish it?
--- whatever, geek --------------------------------------------------------
you know what is the absolute best movie in the world? UHF. If youve never
seen it, youre a freak. stop reading this, and go rent it. its got wierd
al yankovic sp? in it... and michael richards kramer from seinfeld.
kramer rules. in uhf, hes like this janitor.. and he did this big speech
about how life is like a mOp. mOp is cool. kramer and mOp are my two
favorite things, so UHF is the best. and this guy bob the janitor is cool
too, so since kramer is a janitor with a mOp, i love UHF... billy madison was
good too. although unlike uhf, they swore unnecessarily in it.
--- what are you, some anti-swearing guy? ---------------------------------
fuck no. but when a movie is funny without the swearing and then they swear
in it, it ruins it. some movies are only funny because of all the swearing.
but see, UHF didnt swear any worse than these floors are dirty as HELL, and
im not gonna take it any more!... a great family movie.. you can show it
to your 5 year old cousin and hell think its funny and wont go swearing at
your mom. billy madison was great, but they kept swearing, and it really
wasnt necessary... i dunno, its stupid.
--- now i see why you dont write many y0lks ------------------------------
shut up. who is my idol you ask? DANNY BONADUCE. if you dont know who he
is, its that redhead kid on the partridge family. hes like 30 something
now, and he beat up a transvestite, and boxed with donny osman, and wrestled
with christopher knight bobby brady, and fought this guy john kelly, who
is just some dork whos like an anchorman or something... but he kicked
dannys ass cuz hes big and tough, and dannys this 54 redhead italian guy.
so you can see why he had to fight all these guys. any short redheaded
italian has got something to prove. oh yeah, danny also has that talk show
on NBC called Danny! youve seen it i know. and hes got a radio show here
in chicago too. im listening to it right now. he says that carnie wilson
the fat bitch from wilson phillips who also has a talk show shouldnt be
doing an excersise video cuz shes so fat, and some guy got mad at him for
that. duh... whos gonna pay money for an excersise video from a fat singing
talk show host? of course people like richard simmons, so who knows.
--- danny rules -----------------------------------------------------------
i know. if you call my board lans laughter 708-749-9621 blatant plug and
say that, youll get instant access even if you promise to take the board
down and report me to the spa and the fbi and cia and other 3-letter
abbreviations. did you ever say something that you were thinking out loud
when you really didnt want to? my friend was high and he was babbling about
something or other and he goes i shit my pants and then kept talking. i
was amused.
--- are you done yet? -----------------------------------------------------
not quite. i think everyone should go to a green day concert and shoot them.
actually, id rather you kill weezer first. then michael jackson. then
green day. yeah. ph3ar the header.
--- editor in da haus -----------------------------------------------------
that was a pretty neat issue. satan is my master. and that header kicks ass.
--- index -----------------------------------------------------------------
title author
01 the other white meat creed
02 several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin creed
03 nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. creed
04 a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin creed
05 household uses for afghanistanian food creed
06 pour cement down my anus hooch
07 hail santa! creed
08 hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? hooch
09 lunchables rock. creed
10 t-shirts and toejam bedlam
11 nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview hooch
12 movie reviews showgirls!@ - win95 vs. os/2 sorta hooch
13 straight outta compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ hooch
14 im a tall, goofy, dorky, chink phorce
15 bedazzled by the eliteness creed
16 how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina creed
17 i am a warez pup - who are you? hooch
18 lemmings phorce
19 the science of astrology belial
20 the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene cd/h0
21 dUcK 54uc3?!!? phorce
22 top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself creed
23 citrus fruits for sale phorce
24 group masturbation belial
25 ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs creed
26 catering for the warez eleet phorce
27 brief mental pause belial
28 the army day camp belial
29 the geek theory, hickies, and another long day creed
30 nets, zines, and that chick from wings hooch
31 mentos! the freedom giver! mercuri
32 ramblings of a poseur bedlam
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera. woog.
mindcrime is an official y0lk member.
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