. .. o.oOdO y0lk issue numbuhu six ObOo.o .. .
                                  by h00ch!!@# 
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werd. i'm writing an issue of y0lK!@? what has the world come to, when such
a pathetic t-file can be released OVER FIVE TIMES?! well. yeah. i actually
like y0lk. i dunno, it makes me laugh. i read the first one and was like
`damn, this mag is PATHETIC' .. but hell, i read the rest, and they were
actually pretty good. and i guess you don't have to be up to m0gel's spiffy
standards to be able to write for it. i even WROTE FOR h0E but M0GEL DIDN'T
RELEASE MY FUCKING ARTICLE CUZ IT WASN'T 3L1T3 3NUFF!? GNFFFFFFF!!
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anyway. my article for h0e, i thought, was pretty good. it was about how the
ART SCENE FUCKING SUCKED. maybe m0gel's anti-aggression or something, cuz
most of the article was written in caps and had lotsa exclamation points. but
i thought it was well-written. basically, here's my point.
elite: you play games, you win, ooh, that's nice. <sometimes you make $$>
hpavc: you get cool information, ooh, that's nice.
art: you draw, you look at it, THAT FUXIN BLOWZ!!!@#!@#
why would you draw art? i admit. i got pretty wrapped up in it. i was a
founder of emerge. yes, i ran the electoral second-in-command couriering
lesser-kudu portion of emerge. but what did that do for me?! NUTHIN. what did
i do? i fucking organized the pax. have you ever put together an art pack!?
IT SUCKS. you have to call long distance to get the artist's work, get the
diz, make the nfo, the sitelist, the memberlist, organize everything neatly.
and you know WHAT?! the pack sucked anyway. i'm not afraid to admit it.
EMERGE SUCKED. yes, we sucked. the only groups out there that don't suck are
spastic, acid, ice, integrity, cia, and legend. i'm probably forgetting a few
but that's only cuz i'm not in the art scene anymore. oh, dark, they don't
suck. anyway, my point is, WHY DO PEOPLE SPEND SO MUCH DAMN TIME ON ART?!
i can see, if you're a KICK-MOTHER-FUCKING-ASS artist like lord jazz who has
people begging to pay him 913749138743981749871894371894 million dollars for
every ansi he does [which is even STUPIDER than the art scene itself (see:
PEOPLE THAT PAY FOR ANSI/ASCII ART)]. now that would be ok. cuz you make
money off of making ansi. but it's the group heads.. now those people are
sick people. take rad-man for instance. jesus. that guy's life must suck.
he's been in charge of acid for years now.. his life must be hellish. and
you know WHY IT'S HELLISH!? CUZ HE'S FIGHTING OVER FUCKING COMPUTER ARTISTS!!
yup. what a waste of a perfectly good human life.
:PEOPLE THAT PAY FOR ANSI/ASCII ART
program (I_SHAVE_YACKS_ON_WEEK_ENDS);
string STUPID_SHITS
BEGIN
   WRITELN('WHY WOULD YOU PAY FOR COLORED CHARACTERS?!?!@$*(#$&(@*!$&Y');
END.
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ok, so that little article suqed. my one for h0e was much better. have you
ever noticed how the art scene [and probably the elite scene too] are like
little versions of real life? fuq dis. i had a whole nice section of this
in my h0e article. holon while i go look for it.
- [h0lding] -
FUQ!*(@#$& i can't find it. ah well. i'm not gonna re-print my whole thing
telling how the ansi scene is just a smaller-scale version of real life.
just think about it, you'll figure it out.
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have you ever deltree'd something by accident that was really important? i
hate that. i like type pretty fast and do things real quickly when i'm doing
maintenance and shit.. so i'll do something like
deltree c:\STUPIDDIR
deltree c:\PCB
[moment of not knowing what i just did]
[moment of realization]
[moment of yelling FUCK!@#$^! and turning the computer off]
i HATE that!@ i really should install norton utilities, but i'm too lazy.
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anyone know what the filename NUMBER9 is?! i have it sitting in my root c:\
and i'm afraid to delete it, on the account of the fact that my computer
might turn into a praying mantis. [in which case i couldn't kill my computer,
cuz it's against the law to kill praying mantis's]
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did you know mr. muff of ex-cia is paralyzed from the waist down?
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here is my autoexec.bat:
@ECHO OFF
C:\QEMM\LOADHI /R:2 C:\DOS\SMARTDRV.EXE /X
SET SOUND=C:\VIBRA16
SET BLASTER=A220 I5 D1 H5 P300 T6
SET MIDI=SYNTH:1 MAP:E
C:\VIBRA16\DIAGNOSE /S
C:\POUR_WET_CEMENT_DOWN_MY_ASS\IT_FEELS_GOOD
C:\VIBRA16\MIXERSET  /P /Q
C:\QEMM\LOADHI /R:2 /RES=10000 /SQF C:\BNU\BNU /L1:38400,8N1 /P:2
PROMPT $P$G
PATH C:\DOS;C:\WINDOWS;C:\MOUSE;C:\UTILS;C:\BAT;C:\RG;C:\RG2;C:\RG3;C:\PCB;C:\PCB\NODE1;C:\PCB\NODE2;C:\PCB\NODE3;
SET TEMP=C:\DOS
REM SET COMSPEC=C:\DOS\COMMAND.COM
C:\QEMM\LOADHI /R:2 /RES=6480 /SQF C:\DOS\SHARE.EXE
it's rather pretty, isn't it? i have so much stuff taken out of it to save
memory.
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did you read my autoexec.bat? you should. it's got a hidden message.
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this is the first few lines of acidview.exe, when viewed in dos-edit:
TZjL
YIt#Q
;T0u
TINYPROG says, "Bad program file!"
q|,`[
[g_8
|xg;1
AopK
{_wf
)G&Y
|OaA
jc$YK
'"}2
$c5#
O"O=
ENeqq
TP9T
AzU:<|}
V{pq
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lK)+
~|K8
FkC)}
UquO
)Vq`
47YTzk
2UZ>N
?N*>
ex*F
D+`<5w
k&#!
pv~%
"`Yu]g9Y
 XOm
zFLR
i think it's rather beautiful.
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that about wraps up my first y0lk article. you can reach me at the following
internet addresses: hooch@nile.intac.com / eric.jaffe%wdl@cjbbs.com. i also
run a board, the y0lk whq!!@!@ erebus - 201-762-1373. creed will hopefully
be a co-sysop there soon. we have t-files!@ if you call and apply and mention
y0lk in the to-sysop msg, you'll almost definitely be validated!@# i used to
have a vmb. damn, i shouldn't have given it away. i'm gonna get another one.
ok, dat's it. later.
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index of y0lk issues:
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$ issue $.                       title                                     `$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$'  1  `$ the other white meat                                             `$
$   2   $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $
$   3   $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.                     $
$   4   $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin                $
$.  5   $ household uses for afghanistanian food                            $
$.  6  ,$ hooch's wet-cementy anus.                                        ,$
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'
all issues by stain and hooch (so far)