Oh humans! What a confusing creature we ar-- -but let's cut the philosophical crap right now and get right to the issue. I suggest a new style of writing called the 'colloquial essay'. In these fast-paced days of high technology, people just don't have the attention span necessary to read a boring, formal 5-part essay. So why not write essays in a form similar to a magazine article, in a much more easy-to-read style? The idea behind the colloquial essay is to sound like you are talking to the reader; the only difference is the column width! "Ok, the first point is that the old style of essay writing is out. That's right, because people just have to think too hard to read something that's written in a formal, elevated, 'holier than thou' style. As well, a lot of people don't understand the vocabulary used in those 'technical' essays." So, what type of magazine articles do you mean? Well, anything from the in-your-face style of the 'Discorder' to the semi-respectable chit-chat of 'Vancouver' or 'Saturday Night'. The grammar doesn't have to be perfect. As long as it's easy to read! So you're tryin' to sound like you're talking to the reader? Yeah, it's like an easy-to-follow conversation. It's loosely based on Plato's 'Socratic dialogues'; in that sense too the colloquial essay strives to provide a firm, logical, philosophical proof of the argument. In conclusion, if you want to write an essay that stands out from the rest in its clarity, brevity, and wit, and still gets the point across - in short, an 'A' essay, why not try the colloquial essay? It just might work. -Basic SAUCE00A Colloquial Essay Basic mISTFUNK 1998 19980116¡