_ In an unprecedented move today the government of Saudi Arabia declared war to all of the World s firemen A government official made this statement Firemen are one of the biggest costs in oil exploitation Every time an oil well is on fire those guys show up and a couple weeks afterwards we get this huge bill This has to cease! We cannot let the people of Saudi Arabia be exploited like that by outside agents Therefore we place a bounty of 100 000$ per fireman s head we get The announcement has provoked a world-wide frenzy with people going after firemen as if they were the key to their Klondike Here is a partial bodycount after 6 hours Country Firemen killed Russia 385 Saudi Arabia 298 United Kingdom 265 Slovakia 191 Germany 187 France 176 Canada 18 One of the most effective strategies so far has been to set things on fire to lure firemen Russia is currently reporting the most incidents with 324 of their 385 kills achieved using this strategy A part of Moscow called Idiotchgrad has stopped answering fire alarms after 20 men were killed in 2 hours Now half of the old city is set aflame and nobody is willing to go out to do anything about it In Saudi Arabia the strategy literally backfired 298 people were killed before authorities quickly made a second press release to announce that the bounty wasn t applying to firemen native to the country Fifteen different oil wells are currently being consumed by flames The United Kingdom who accounts for the most firefighting forces in Saudi Arabia immediately recalled their firemen in place there and placed all of their firemen at home under police protection After riots erupted around the country s firehalls the Queen made a public request for peace Her words went unheard In Toronto Canada a depressed fireman with a gambling addiction who had just lost everything killed himself I want my family to send my head for the bounty he wrote in a letter left to his family Surprisingly the United States which boasts the world s biggest fireman population has not announced any deaths yet It seems that the media are too busy dealing with some sex scandal and broadcasts of the news relating to this story have not sparked any interest We ll be back after these messages Hello my name is The ExtremisT For 4 years I have run a bulletin board on a phone line Recently I have discovered the joy of cablemodems and I will soon open up my telnet bbs at cizb sietch bc ca You too get rid of that shitty phoneline! Log on CITY IZ BURNING soon!