The Government and EZ-Pass I had just crossed the Verrazano Bridge and was approaching the toll lanes when I was presented with what seemed a simple choice Do I pay the toll in cash or do I use my good ole EZ-Pass Well of course I d use the EZ-Pass it just makes everything easier What I didn t realize at the time is that by using the EZ-Pass I was playing right into the government s hands Each EZ-Pass account has your name and address and all other sorts of pers- onal information about you and everytime you use it the EZ-Pass company knows your exact location (because you just crossed a bridge duh ) This information is than passed onto the government who keeps a running tab on all their citizens With the growing population the government had found it harder and harder to keep track of everyone so they invented the concept of EZ-Pass Be careful and be afraid The government is using this information against you They are plotting with the Spokonians (from the distant world of Spokony) to turn us all into butter churning slaves But we must stand up for ourselves! The days of manual churning are long gone (unless of course you are Amish ) and so are the days of long skirts and unprotected sex Why should we churn butter for those fascist bastards when we each own our own sneakers No man who owns his own sneakers should ever be forced to churn butter Ever Once I was forced to churn butter It was a class trip to Amish country It was horrible and scarred me for life To this day I get sick when I see butter I am now strictly a margarine type of guy Don t let this happen to you The Amish took away something very important to me they took away my butter Don t let the government do the same to you Don t use EZ-Pass Unless you snag someone else s and use it so you throw off everyone so Joe Gov Official goes to Montana to look for Bill Clement when he is actually in Wisc- onsin and you the one who stole Bill s EZ-Pass is in Montana Yeah that d really screw up their plans Whatever you do take care of your shoes Luke Skywalker