he had alot to say he had alot of nothing to say we ll miss him - my lips are moving but i can t hear myself (i have no mouth and i must scream ) like the therapeutic drugs i ve been on to cope the voices of all the others float into oblivion and the sound of my cracking voice becomes tinny as the dull roar in my head becomes louder louder louder louder and louder and suddenly! my voice sharpens it becomes so manly its apparent and obvious strength stuns the patrons i have no hesitations i speak boldly (but still i cannot hear myself ) and i begin to recollect mentally what yuri was like my thoughts gather themselves and solidify into his image and he is in essence standing two feet from my eyes in the flesh his skin is dripping death but there he is and here i am and still my voice floats on i can t hear myself as i begin to speak with yuri like the good old days in my dictatorship fashion and the people sit back straight and they listen - so long we wish you well you told us how you weren t afraid to die well then so long don t cry or feel too down - but a youngster he was everyones friend (and sometimes he just couldn t be bothered) at the mere age of fourteen all the worries in the world escaped him (so ignorant and so blissful) (he became what we all expected and wanted) (without conforming to our standards) - embittered by the world around him so loving yet uncaring he exuded curiousity and knowing the angst driven parade he was appealed to us all just as trent s succulent and endearing voice sucked him in drawing him closer closer closer my whole existence is flawed - to ascend you must die you must be crucified for your sins and your lies goodbye - yes we exalted yuri our friend our friend our friend (keep telling yourselves that) we loved him as our friend so dear so loved and dear (maybe we didn t of course we did!) (liars liars liars liars!) we were so ignorant to what he was becoming - i m stuck in this dream it s changing me i am becoming the me that you knew he had some second thoughts he s covered with scabs he is broken and sore - yes to what he was becoming so ignorant we were and so still we are (but he wouldn t tell us no ) (he wouldn t tell us at all!) how could we guess his so called pain and suffering if only we were psychic motherfuckers (god bestow us with the advantage ) - he couldn t believe how easy it was he put the gun into his face bang so much blood for such a tiny little hole problems do have solutions a lifetime of fucking things up fixed in one determined flash everything s blue in this world the deepest shade of mushroom blue all fuzzy spilling out of my head - the creators fought with sincere stupidity sincere infidelity and yuri meanwhile stood by and listened and on they carried fighting and fighting as yuri stood by and listened but just as he thought it was about to cease the institution of law proclaimed a divorce so taxing so taxing and exacting it was on dear yuri could he handle the pain was there any at all but yes of course of course - i hurt myself today to see if i still feel i focus on the pain the only thing that s real - (my voice floats upon the wind as i carry on ) (i can t hear myself i have no mouth and i must scream ) (but still it goes on ) (as my onlookers are stunned angry saddened ) (millions of emotions we cannot explain ) (and still i go on ) - i am the voice inside your head (and i control you) - and so yuri pleaded with himself he analyzed and analyzed and was consumed with angst the separation exacted a fierce and cruel punishment upon him (he condemned himself his bane was his own mind) and the meaninglessness of the world around him striking a mighty blow upon his weakened mind - the rope was coiled and transformed into an awaiting snake (as liquor became reality the drugs became abnormalitiy) knotted into a hangman s noose awaiting the pure and precious neck of a precocious teenager (oh it fed upon the life ) as yuri detached from everything and everyone carried himself self-sacrificingly to the back of his school and took his life so selfishly yet so obstinantly (fuck you all fuck you fuck you all) as the thick rope began to pull and strain biting into flesh and asphyxiated the young lad yuri fourteen years old goodbye - if i could start again a million miles away i would keep myself i would find a way - bodily functions coherency and feeling return absent mindedly as my dead eyes stare into the crowd of assholes (why they are merely sitting there as a fucking function!) so expected of them it is it is and i glare hatefully at these motherfuckers these familiar strangers that i know so well (their identities escape me ) as yuri disappears from my mind and everything is numb muscles unclench eyelids flutter in the space of a moment and i m falling falling falling goodbye yuri goodbye