KERMIT THE FROG TEXT PROGRAM IN BASIC -handiboy mistigris 1 REM This is a little program about Kermit the Frog Vomiting in the Men s 2 REM Washroom As you can tell already this program will be in basic 3 REM This thing kind of sucks 5 PRINT SESAME STREET MESS - KERMIT THE FROG IN THE MEN S WASHROOM 10 INPUT ARE YOU A MALE OR A FEMALE M F $G 20 IF $G= M THEN PRINT GREAT! YOU ARE IN A BAR GOTO 40 30 IF $G= F THEN PRINT SORRY WE CANNOT PERMIT YOU TO PLAY THIS GAME KERMIT THE FROG IS NOT A GIRL PLEASE LOOK FOR SESAME STREET MESS II MISS PIGGY IN THE WOMEN S WASHROOM 35 PRINT GAME OVER! PLEASE PLAY AGAIN IF YOU GET A SEX CHANGE END 40 INPUT AND YOU ARE AT THE POINT WHERE YOU HAVE FINISHED DRINKING HOW MANY LITRES OF BOOZE HAVE YOU CONSUMED B 45 IF B 5 THEN PRINT SORRY YOU HAVE NOT CONSUMED THE REQUIRED AMOUNT OF BOOZE TO GET TO THE WASHROOM OUT OF MONEY YOU GO BACK TO SESAME STREET WHEN THE CHILDREN FIND OUT THAT YOU VE BEEN DRINKING THEY KICK YOU REPEATEDLY CAUSING MASSIVE INTERNAL BLEEDING IN YOUR LIVER AND KIDNEYS YOU HAVE DIED GOTO 100 50 IF B 5 THEN PRINT YOU HAVE EXCEEDED THE REQUIRED AMOUNT OF BOOZE ALTHOUGH YOU GET TO A WASHROOM YOU ARE NOT AWARE THAT YOU HAVE ENTERED THE WOMEN S WASHROOM MOMENTS LATER YOU ARE WHACKED REPEATEDLY BY PURSES WHICH CAUSE EXTENSIVE DAMAGE TO YOUR BRAIN YOU HAVE DIED GOTO 100 60 IF B=5 THEN PRINT YOU HAVE CONSUMED THE REQUIRED AMOUNT OF BOOZE TO GET TO THE MEN S WASHROOM 70 PRINT ALTHOUGH FROM YOUR BLURRED VISION YOU CAN MAKE OUT THE URINARIES INDICATING THAT YOU HAVE ENTERED THE MEN S WASHROOM IT SEEMS THAT MANY OF THE TOILETS AND URINARIES ARE OCCUPIED THERE ARE 15 PLACES WHERE YOU CAN VOMIT WHERE WILL YOU PUKE 1-15 INPUT P 80 IF P=1 THEN GOTO 95 81 IF P=2 THEN GOTO 95 82 IF P=3 THEN GOTO 95 83 IF P=4 THEN GOTO 95 84 IF P=5 THEN GOTO 96 85 IF P=6 THEN GOTO 96 86 IF P=7 THEN GOTO 96 87 IF P=8 THEN GOTO 96 88 IF P=9 THEN GOTO 96 89 IF P=10 THEN GOTO 97 90 IF P=11 THEN GOTO 98 91 IF P=12 THEN GOTO 98 92 IF P=13 THEN GOTO 98 93 IF P=14 THEN GOTO 98 94 IF P=15 THEN GOTO 98 95 PRINT YOU RUSH UP TO AN URINARY AND YOU VOMIT WHEN YOUR VISION CLEARS MOMENTS LATER YOU SEE SOME BIG GUY S BUTT WITH FROG PUKE SPLATTERED ON IT THE BUTT TURNS AROUND YOU LOOK UP AND YOU SEE A FURIOUS MOTORCYCLE DO0DER THE MOTORBIKE GUY STEPS ON YOU YOU HAVE DIED GOTO 100 96 PRINT YOU FIND A CONTAINER THAT YOU CAN REGURGITATE INTO MOMENTS LATER YOU FIND YOURSELF LOOKING INTO A MOTORCYCLE HELMET YOU LOOK UP AND YOU SEE A FURIOUS MOTORCYCLE DO0DER THE MOTORBIKE GUY STEPS ON YOU YOU HAVE DIED GOTO 100 97 PRINT YOU FIND A TOILET TO PUKE INTO AND A MINUTE LATER YOU FIND YOURSELF RELIEVED AND SOBER YOU HAPPILY WALK YOUR WAY BACK TO SESAME STREET HOPING THAT THE KIDS DON T FIND OUT THAT YOU DRINK BOOZE GOTO 110 98 PRINT YOU FIND A TOILET TO PUKE INTO AS YOU VOMIT YOU ALSO SMELL A STRONG PUNGENT ODOR ALMOST LIKE EXCREMENT YOU LOOK DOWN AND FIND THAT YOU DIDN T POOP HOWEVER YOU LOOK UP AND YOU SEE A FURIOUS MOTORCYCLE DO0DER SITTING ON THE TOILET THAT YOU VOMITED INTO YOU SEE THAT SOME OF YOUR VOMIT HAS SPLATTERED ON THE SIDE OF THE MOTORCYCLE GUY S NAKED RIGHT LEG THE MOTORBIKE GUY STEPS ON YOU YOU HAVE DIED GOTO 100 100 PRINT GAME OVER PLEASE PLAY AGAIN IF YOU RE TOO STUPID TO REALIZE THAT THIS GAME SUCKS 105 GOTO 120 110 PRINT YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY FINISHED THE GAME! GOOD JOB! GOTO 120 120 PRINT WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY AGAIN Y N INPUT $F 130 IF $F= Y THEN GOTO 5 140 IF $F= N THEN PRINT PLEASE REGISTER THIS GAME YOU BASTARD GOTO 150 150 END And there you go a cheezy kermit text game i tried making an ansi but kermit looked like a fag As you can my basic coding skills are pretty rusty but it ll do =) -handiboy