rusted b l e nd e r 34 our mission is to dominate blender dirty whore that which we created See it s a story about a man and lady well no it s not It s about a not-so mentally stable hacker living in a beaten downtown flat living with his three legged four nutted boxer pup named peppy and his lover who was really just full of hot air if you know what I mean Well hello my names Rob Yes i m the great mad hacker that rampages through your twenty-five columned screen See i just woke up to my damned gimp dog twenty minutes ago and i m hungry Not the hungry you and I feel but the hungry you know to get rid of the sleeping symptoms I have a whole box full of fruit loops seems like i ve had them for a decade who cares about the damn expiration dates anymore if it tastes good eat it well thats my problem In all my lazy ways I have finally come across running out of something important milk this cereal is completely impossible to eat and enjoy without that certain soggy taste So I better get my ass down to the supermarket I shove the evil cereal back into it s cabinet for later Amazingly men at this age still wear pj s to bed and well uhhmhmmhm at least I do So without further ado I get the keys to my voltswagon bus these are the cars dreams are made of I turn the key and the engine yawns at me It really doesn t seem to want to wakeup either today but the engine doesn t need milk with gasoline After say about two hours of fiddling with the bus i ve found the problem my stupid-ass neighbors gangster eight year old took my spark plug again I march up the stairs and on the way up their I run into my old fiance Anne and she puts the spark plug in my hand saying something of that little shit was using it as some kind of anal penetrator Well she offered to go on a date with me to the drive-in again I got back down to my parking space and drove off on my way to the supermarket I saw what had to be the most ghastliest moron trying to get a ride This black guy was in a speedo on the biggest road in New York what a moron His hair was dyed in a peculiar fashion it almost looked like Juanita the whore s bush but he d need a little more green hair dye for that one I arrive finally at the beloved supermarket and I find I had barely enough gasoline to park my car after it cut-out on me six times trying to back in to a space in the lot Their is this huge sale going on at the supermarket it s amassing all the way down the sidewalk of the plaza the cheap speakers are blaring things about sales that even ewheat erhhmmm god would have not been able to understand Well I have a new problem I have no money My wallet is forty miles away at my flat I begin to poke around the many sales booths and rattle at those annoying few who attempt to carry out their time tested sales bitch i mean pitch on me It really became annoying some rat-bastard tried to sell me a 05 horse-power vacuum that ran on an aaa battery Pretty pathetic huh Well when i turned around to go see the stereo special I glanced back and found he ripped the entire thing of an advanced swedish made penis enlarger jeez did he seem wrapped up in his marketing tools i ve got Anne to do that to me I think she rates around four or five horsepower Well I remembered the good old days when I was nuts about hooking up and nigger-rigging stereo-systems for all of my best buds I saw among the show-case of impressive equipment an un-assembled stereo I needed the money and I figured it wouldn t take all that long so I asked the man in charge of the booth if I could do it for say five bucks and he said go for it Off I went the thing was operating to the beats of the village people in less then two hours So he handed me my money and I headed off into the store leaving the people at the booth in village people hell I bought my milk I was happy but shit I didn t have any gasoline money and no change since I burned the rest on that nice looking girl in the alley by the supermarket All this fussing about seems to have woken me up but I still have my milk so I drank some of it and sat down seeing the sky darken and I headed off down the road into the sunset but then ugh this ugly guy came around The man drove up to me his face smiling his face ugly I ve never seen someone uglier then he was but he gave me good advice 1800COLLECT and a pay-phone seemed to appear out of no-where on the side of the road so i went inside and while I was wading through the torrents of messages these little kids began pressing their faces up against the phone-booth s transparent walls and I took out my nightstick you find the strangest things in your hands after your done with that nice girl in the supermarket alley talk about kinky Well I called Anne she picked me up it took half an hour but it was fun to beat the hell out of children Off into the sunset but Anne didn t want me for sex she needed me to hack her bank account and change her balance but i made my mind hack for sex now thats the business We had many children and I had many successful hacks they never did catch me that just proves how stupid they are Till next time Signing off Rusted