iCE iCE iCE iCE iCE iCE NFO NFO NFO NFO NFO NFO at tt M A Y 1 9 9 7 1 April showers brought May flowers that is until Joker came around and accidentally stepped on all of them Oh well But we have a great variety of work this month to make up for it! We wanted to call it the iCE Flowers Month but BoA said it sounded too gay and Dev mentioned something about his possibly getting deflowered so it became a moot point 2 In the who s new department sometimes referred to as the suckers of the month club we are happy to report that three new members were welcomed into the group Sucked in by the Frozen Eureka were Farmicus in the UNIX team and Wired in the ANSI members team Also dragged in half-dead by the cat (Scooter) was Beastie to the ANSI team Nobody managed to escape this month either 3 Information Systems director Lickbert never bothered learning to use a real writing implement so he s been moved to progressive discipline He was taken there by Jae who will be administering the torture However Farmicus and Force Ten report that many new UNIX tricks will be put in place this month They re all a secret and neither are willing to tell 4 Tempus resurfaced to socialize with the wing-nuts this month but he was promptly beaten and mugged by Kabal 13 When told that Tempus was one of iCE s oldschool legends Kabal merely shrugged and said that the bastard was part of the SSH conspiracy 5 In the iCE criminal of the month department Friar Tuck s ugly mug has been pinned up to the ice org post office wall Tuck whose car was demolished recently by a slightly crazed woman (Syntax would like to add that this is a redundant definition) purchased a brand new 97 black-on-black-on-black VW Jetta and promptly received two tickets in his first day of driving it The first was a routine speeding ticket worth 4 points and quite a few bucks and the second was for attempting to bribe the summons-issuing officer with a donut It was my last Cruller said Friar Tuck you d expletive think that d be worth something! The officer declined comment 6 iCE would like to congratulate all of the members who graduated college this past May We would also like to congratulate Syntax Error and Vesalius for hitting their final stretch in their medical schooling and want to wish them luck on their way to writing the rest of us prescriptions for Prozac and Lithium 7 Rumours were circulating the Cannes film festival in France saying that the new sexy actor of the year would be -- iCE s very own Magnetic M! Starring in such new movies as The Teddy Bear Murders and Revenge of the Slurp Maggie was the hit of the festival Several well-endowed (Syntax would like to once again point out that he s available for plastic surgery consultation) women were seen hanging all over M Magnetic M refuses to confirm or deny the rumors but instead offers the following statement ) whatever that means 8 THIS JUST IN A protest was staged by Kitiara Anarchy and Sprite due to the misogynistic and degrading representations of women attributed to Syntax in this NFO file New iCE guy Wired also tried to join in but we just think he was trying to get some action 9 Another month of penguin beating and tribal chants mixed into a graphic display of 90 s mentality Another wonderful pack You just can t understand what it s like to be iCE unless you are See you next month! Cold and Ugly Force Ten Mass Delusion