O the melancholia of things completed! 10 1 96 I dared dream I dared imagine that I had a future A present! And - oh yes - A past Such a glorious past And not only this Yes I matured I became aware and enlightened All in the space of an hour I dared dream of joy in its so-natural state and I perhaps truly experienced it - - for a minute That minute in which I was passed sentence upon I dared dream that all my worries were resolved So lovely it was to relax truly relax! I confess - yes I completely let down my guard So that I might dare dream! So that my community would embrace me Might welcome me with open arms! I ask is that such a naive thought Such a feeling to have been missing my entire life! I gained it - so fleetingly - and now I have lost it - and I only wish that it had never occurred How is it Is it possible But so so paradoxical - That two beings might benefit so much from one another s presence - and conversely - that two might turn so against each other If I should not experience these extremes of emotion in true life why - why - WHY torture me by letting me experience them so briefly in my sleep Oh but for the inequality I might reach my potential! My human potential I long for emotion unlike any other again This yearning will not cease and it cannot be artificially quenched A bullet would be simple Artificial I think not But somehow - somehow I must soar and dive again For it must exist again sometime sometime again please let me go back