Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable Heidegger Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table David Hume could out consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel There s nothing Nietzsche couldn t teach ya bout the raisin of the wrist Socrates himself was permanently pissed John Stewart Mill of his own free will after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill Plato they say could stick it away alf a crate of whiskey every day! Aristotle Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle and Hobbes was fond of his Dram And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart I drink therefore I am Yes Socrates himself is particularly missed A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he s pissed