my dad is a milkman _ y%%&&SS$% @s phear $$P ^^ d$$l $$$ sargon meatpod $$$ S$$ S&&%%yy __ _ _ yy%&&SS$% S$$ _d$$S S$$ l ^^ $$S $$S $$P ^^ d$$l l$$l $$S S l$$l l$$l l $$$ S$$ yy%%&&SS$% l$$l $ S$$ S$$ ll S$$ $$S ^^ d$$l S$$ yy%%&&S$$$S $$S lSll l l$$l l$$l l$$l S$$ $$S P ^^ $$l l$$l lSSllll $$S___ S$$ &&S@ $$S $ S$$ S$$ S$$$SSS $$S $$$$$P $$S S$$ %&&S$$$$ $$S d$ $$S $$S $$$$$$$ $$$ $$S ^^ $$$ $$l l$$l l$$l l$$$$$$$ l l$$l l$$l l$$l $$S___ S$$ S$$ S$$$$$$$ ll $$S S$$ _ yy%%&&$$$$S $$$$$P $$S $$S d$$$$$$$$ llSl S$$ _ yy $$$ ^^ _ y%%%&&$beeedbeeed$$$$$$$$$ lllSSl l$$l yy%&&SP ^ _ y%@S$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $S$$$S $$P _ y%@&S$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ S$$$$$b _ y%@S$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $SS$SSS$$$SSS$$$S$SS$S$$SSS$$SS$SSSSSSS$$$SSSS$$$SS$$S$$SSSS$$SSS$$SS$$S$SS$S$$$ llSSSllSSSlllSSSlSlllSSllSlSSllSlSlllSlSSlSlSSSSSlSSSlSSllSlSSlllSlllSlllllSllSS $$ $$ $l l$ $ S E R I A L A S C I I P R E S E N T S $ l l A STORY ABOUT THE GUARDIAN S REVENGE IN THE yyymmmmyyy yyymmmm yyymmmmyyy yyymyymyyy yyy yyy yyymmmmyy_ yyymmmmyyy $$$mmmm$$ $$$mmmmmmm $$$mmmm$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$mmmm$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ yyy $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$yyyy$$$ $$$yyyy$$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$yyyy$$$ $$$yyyy$$$ $$$ $$ $$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ _ _ y%@$$$$ $$$$ ^ l$$l _ l$$l $$$ y eyyy $$$ $$$ y%@ _ $$$$ l$$l ^ db $$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ l$$l l$$l yd$$ $$$ $$ $$$$b $$$ $$$$ l$$l _ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$b $$$ $$$ $$$P l$$ $$ $$$$ l$$l _ $$$ $P$$$ _ l$$l l$$l y%@$P $$ $$$$b $$$ $$$ l$$l l$$l _ y%@$$$$ $$$ $P ^ yd$$$ 4$$$$ l$$l y%@$P $P $$$$ ^ l$$l l$$l d$$$$P 4$$b $P ^ y $$$ l$$l _ y% $P d$$$$P 4$bydb l$$l l$$l $$$ @$P l$$l d$$$$P 4$$$$b $$$ yyy l$P _ $$$ d$$$$P 4$$$$ l$$l l$$l _ _ y%@$$$$ l$$l d$$$$P 4$$ $P $$$ _ y%@$$$$ $$ ^ l$$l $P d$$$$P 4$@yyd l$$l $$$$ ^ l$$l $l $P $$$ d$$$$P 4$$$$b $P _ $$$ $$ l$$l d$$$$P 4$$$$b _ y%@$P l$$l $l $$$ d$$$$P 4$$$$b l$$l $$$ $ l$$l $$P 4$$$$b $$$ l$$l $l $P dP 4$$$$ l$$l y%@$P dP d$y@$P 4$$ $P ^ d$$$$P 4$by@b d$$$$P 4$$$$b d$$$$P r%@S$$$S@%r 4$$$$b d$$$$P d$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$b 4$$$$b d$$$$P d$$P $$$$$$ $$ $$$$$b 4$$$$$$$P $$P $$$$$$$ $$ $$ $$$ 4$$$P l$$l Y$$$$$$ $$ $$b $$ $ $$$ 4$$$$$gg$$ $$$ $$ 4$$$b $$$$$ssP d$P 4$$$$Sggg ggS$P S$$$$$S ggggggg@@@SS$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$@@@@gggggggggggg $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$SS $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ^^ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ^^ ggg@@@S$P $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ ggg@ $P Y$$$$$$$$$$$P $$$$$$$$$$$ gg@@@@S$P Y$$$$ $$$$$ g@S$S@g Y$$ $ g@S$S $ ggg@@SS$$$$$$$P Y$ g@S$S@g $$g$$$$$$$$$$SS g@S$S@g $$$$$g$$$ g@SS$$$$$$$$ $$g$$ $g$$$$ g@S$S@g $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$s$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$s$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$s$$$$$$$$ it was february 8th 1997 3 million doodleboys around the globe had just gotten out of dOODLEBOYZ(tm) convention in pico looki a small island in the bermuda triangle they all left the convention center in hotwired stolen or shitty cars to go to their carded motel rooms and get some rest well all except 3 those three fellows seperate at the time all decided to go drinking because there was only one other building on the island besides carmilito s convention shack they all went to the same bar carmilito s beer shack a run down place with a wooden bar and 10 or so tables around the room in the front there was a 90 year old man playing a ukelele that $ _ $$$$P ^^^ $$$$$P ^^^ $$$$$P ^^^ $$$$$P ^^^ $$$ _ $ $$$ $ y@$$P $$@y $ y@$$P $$@y $ y@$$P $$@y $ y@$$P $$@y $$$$ $m m$$ $$$$$ $ $$$$$ $ $$$$$ $ $$$$$ $ $$$$$ $ $$$$$ $ $$$$$ $ $$$$$ $m m$ $$$$$$ $$$$$eed$$$P $ $$$$$eed yyyyd$ $$$$$eed yyyyd$ $$$$$eed$$$P $$$$$ $ _ $$ $$$$$ $$$$b $ $$$$$ yyyyy $ $$$$$ yyyyy $ $$$$$ $$$$b $ _ $ $$$ $ $$ $$P $ $$ $$P $ $$ $$P $ $$ $ $$P $$$$ $m m$$$$b ___ d$$$$$b ___ d$$$$$b ___ d$$$$$b d$b d$$$m m$ was the pico lookians idea of entertainment the rest of the patrons were hooting and clapping for the performer but sargon meatpod and blazemore sat at seperate ends of the room shaking their heads in disgust they all ordered some sort of drink and after about an hour or two they were all plastered sargon who is known for his stumbling and forgetfulness looked around and noticed meatpod sitting at the other end of the bar near a trash can puking his brains out he walked over to him and said sargon arent you the guy who stuffed tguardian in the trash can at dOODLEBOYZ(tm) convention meatpod uh yeah so meatpod and sargon two giants of the ascii scene stood face to face dumbfoundedly meatpod uh hey sargon hey so they talked for a while about the latest serial pack until they saw a lonely guy sitting at a table drawing dollar signs and other computer symbols on his napkin trying to pick up chicks blazemore hey baby check out my ascii art why dont you draw some ascii art on this napkin maybe your phone number the chick walked away disgustedly meatpod realized that the guy doodling on the napkin was blazemore the guy who kept throwing paper airplanes at the convention meatpod woah thats blazemore! sargon who meatpod you shithead blazemore the ascii artist for serial! sargon uh whats serial meatpod its that group you run dumbass do you have alzheimers or are yo naturally stupid sargon dunno so they walked over to blazemore and sat down meatpod Hey sargon hey blazemore hey now that they had acquainted themselves in the normal doodleboy fashion they approached the bar and ordered 6 beers they talked for a while and the bartender presented them with 6 beers they each guzzled down about half of their beers until the bartender looked at them impatiently and spoke bartender are you going to pay for that sargon oh shit i forgot about that meatpod fuck blazemore got any money blazemore nodded and pulled a ziplock bag full of pennies out of his bag and threw it on the bar the bartender shook his head in disapproval blazemore this is all i got the bartender then hollered loud like a banshee and a huge 300 pound latino man named Juan Salazar Martinez Felipe Gonzalez Benitez Rosarez the third jr Juan promptly picked up sargon meatpod and blazemore and threw them out on the street d$$QQg 4$Qg _ 4$$$$$$$$$$P g$$$$$$$$$$$b 4$$$ $Qg d$$$$$$$$$$Qg $$$$$$$$P g$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$ $ 4$P 4$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$P 4$$$$$$$$i$$$ $$i $ s$ _ 4$$$$ $$$$P4$$$$$$P _ 4Q$ $$$i$$$ $$$ i$ QQ$ $b _ ^ $ $$ 4P 4$ _ $P + $$$$$$ $$ $ $$$$$g gQQP Q$$$Qg _ _ $QgQ$$$P $i $$ $$ $ $$$$$$$$QgQ Q$ $$$Qg$P 4$$$$$$$$$QQQ$$$$$$$$$$$ $ gP $$$ + $$$$$$$$$$$g$$$ $$$i$ gQ$$$$$$$$Ti i$$$$$$$$$$$$$P $$$$ + 4$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$Tii i$$$$$$$P $$$$$$P 4$$$$$$$$$$P$ $$$i$$$$$$$$$ Q$$$Ti i$$$$$ g 4$$P + _ 4$$$$$P g$ $$$T$$$$$$$$$ g 4$Ti i$$$ _g$$$ _ g+ + $$ + 4$$P d 4 $$$$$$$$$$ $$ $$b $Ti i$$$$$$$$$ $$$ $$$ $ $$$$ 4$P _ g$$$$$$$$$$i iT$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $ $$$$$ gQ$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$i $$$$$$$$i $$$Qg $$$$$$$b $ T $ $$$$$$Qg g$$$$$$$$$$$$ P $$$$i$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$Qg$$ iT i $P gggggggggggggggggQQQ$b $$$i$$$$$$$$ $$QQgg $$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ i P $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ i$$$ $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $i _ _ ^ 4$$$ $Q $$$ $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ gQ$$$$$$$$$$$$QQQQggg __ $$ $$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$P $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$P 4$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $P + 4$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$ 4$ ggQ$$$$$$$Qg $$ $$$P 4b __ s + $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ _ 4QQQ$$$$$ 4$ 4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P + _ 4$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P 4$$$$$$$$$$$$$P they then got up and thirstily went up to a water fountain each guzzled about a gallon of the foul smelling liquid and then promptly laid down on the pavement meatpod then proceeded to throw up they laid there for about 30 minutes until they started to hear a weird noise noise data input! kill cyborg kill whitetrash! sargon what the fuck is that meatpod i dont know it sounds like my sound blaster talking then a red and white cyborg appeared from behind the trees cybersys 1 begin query cybersys 1 query mm cybersys 1 begin directive cybersys 1 directive loop am i man or machine ! _ d$$$$$b am i man or machine ! _ $$$$$$$$$ am i man or machine ! _ ll $ dl am i man or machine ! _ $$$$ $$$$ am i man or machine ! _ $$$$$P am i man or machine ! gg _ gd bg _ gg am i man o gd$b gd@bg $$$$$$$$$$$bgd$$$$$$$$$$$ gd@bg d$bg am gd$$l l$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$b $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$l l$$dg a i or $$$$$$ $$$$$$ am i man or machine ! _ $ l$$$$$$$$$$$ d$ am i man or machine ! _ $ $$$$$$$$$$$ $ am i man or machine ! _ $$$$ $$$$P am i man or machine ! _ $$$$$$$P am i man or machine ! _ $b $$$$$ d$ am i man or machine ! _ $$b$$$$$d$$P am i man or machine ! _ b $$$$$$$$$ d am i man or machine ! _ $$$b d$b d$$$ am i man or machine ! _ $$$$$$b $$$ d$$$$$$ am i man or machine ! _ $$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$ am i man or machine ! _ $$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$ am i man or machine ! _ $$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ am i man or machine ! _ $$$ $P $ $$$ am i man or machine ! _ $$$P $$$ am i man or machine ! _ $$ d b $$ $&*#@&* m2 $bg$$ $$gd$ jle l$$$$l l$$$$l $$$$P $$$$ l$$$$ $$$$l $$ $$ cybersys 1 override $g$ $g$ $$$l l$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$ $$P cybersys 1 begin directive the cyborg proceeded over to meatpod and sargon cyborg message from The Guardian you have beaten me up and thrown me in the trash can one too many times! i have programmed a cyborg and he is going to get revenge on every fne of you bitches that fucked with me! message EOF sargon oh shit the cyborg then picked them up and threw them about a mile into the sea where they drowned so tguardian got his revenge and he now owns the scene as he always claims he does! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P ed$$$$$$$$$$P $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$P $$$$$$$$$be dd$$$$$ $$$$$bb dd$$$$$ $$$$$bb dd$$$$$ $$$$$bb $$$$$S S$$$$$ $$$$$S S$$$$$ $$$$$S S$$$$$ l$$$$$beeeeeed$$$$$l l$$$$$l l$$$$$l l$$$$$l l$$$$$l l$$$$$l yyyyyyel$$$$$l l$$$$$l l$$$$$l l$$$$$l S$$$$$ $$$$$S S$$$$$ $$$$$S S$$$$$ l$$$$$l l$$$$$l l$$$$$l l$$$$$l l$$$$$beeee $$Sb d$$$P $$Sb d$$$P $$S