happy new year from our staff this is the sci-fi channel welcome to +@) -(@ #@!the edge is published monthly as an information text on blade productions!@# +@) -(@ the edge - the blade informational textfile - volume 3 issue 11 more angst than a grunge band we are blade! - - - - contents - 1 the edge (volume 3 issue 11) 2 the members (december 1996) 3 the affiliates (december 1996) - - - - - - welcome to the january blade epic! the year of the blade nation is upon us don t you even THINK about getting anywhere near our treehouse oom! we ll step on your silly littles toes & spit on your mommy! we ll pick up your house & shake it around and hold it upside down & shake it around again & watch you & your dumb lips fall out into a heap of flaming elephant turds! phear the killer gopher! ( phear belial for he is an artist ) this is a piece of my computer it s an ide card! phear it! i resent that i have to do the art for this issue of the edge however i AM such a great artist (see above) so it s really no big deal !@$(@*$@$ ( i dare you to decode that into elite- speak! ) phear us for we are the blade nation we are so elite that it hurts really a lot bad we own a lot of stuff and we re really pretty cool! ( this is decoded using uudecode ) uh well i guess i decoded it i m such a stain! =b3l14l! (bL4D3s3n10rtYp3d0od)! = +--- -- - oonce oonce oonce uhm can i have a little oonce with that turkey club hey it s grey hawk blade s official ide card supplier (i ve got mad underground connectionz wif da used-packaged-hell-parts distribution network ) this month blade took over the world (ok well maybe not next month ) be on the lookout for the official blade acquisitions list ninety-seven is upon us only three years until 2k start counting because uhm something grey hawk - --- -++----- - - nyuk nyuk yup this is the almighty cappacino reporting from the blade temple Darkness has once again been pushed back into the receeds from err wherever or sumfin at this point I would say something unusually rahd and utterly insane but at this hour checks watch I fear it would interrupt ingenious acts of massive thought processes ruining future lit stuffs and what- not so I just won t do that then roof don t you hate moving from side 2 side like I m just fuckin wif j0r head & shit now to finish and take up yet MORE space um peace out and lates ya ll =) &$$$& $$ -! cappacino !- $$ -! the lit !- &$$$& ==%^&---- -- - w00p w00p this is krypt0 speaking i rule the world of the armidillos and control the supply of Jolt throughout the world If you want some rad and life giving Jolt send me $15 in an envelope in unmarked bills adressed to krypt0 living at 14 Tall Oaks Drive Hazlet NJ 07730 Anywayz i m really cold and hungry so like hold on so i can get a drink and some SweetTarts (R) woof woof this is krypt0 lameass other half speaking erple i can talk to the aliens they are planning a massive takeover of the armadillo nation before the next year ouch get the hell off of me this is krypt0 speaking i bet you are thinking im a damn freak well you re right in case u havnt noticed i hate punkuation and spelling things correctly and im a punk 0i 0i 0i! I like to ramble on and on and on and on and on and well i think u getthe picture anywayz im leaving cause im bored i just felt like typing and stuff like that bye! -&$&- &$& $$$$$ $ &$& $$$ $$$$$ $$$ $ $$$$$ $ $ $$$$$x&$$$$$$$$$&x $$ $$$$$ $ $ $$$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$$$ $ $ $$$$$ $$$ ( i know this sux $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$ $$$ $ ass! dont hate me cause of it ) =% krypt0 %= ------- -- - -- ----&^%== so can you guys tell why krypt0 isn t in blade HAH! me too! your phearious leader mindcrime here to let you in on the rest of the phearsome news from the blade front this month the first order of business as the hawk already mentioned is this months blade nation acquisition list! we picked up alot of stuff this month on our quest for world domination here s the list the red bank nj 7-11 the sea bright nj 7-11 the little silver nj 7-11 the beachwood nj 7-11 the holmdel nj 7-11 the keyport nj wawa the beachwood nj wawa the bowling alley in hazlet nj where we school people at air hockey a highlander-esque katana sword 2 hand-sculptured gargoyles electronic arts a keyboard 4 IDE cards 2 hard drives 4 mother boards 3 486 chips a 14 monitor a case and power supply a diamond video card a mouse ide cables and a lamp-style pull cord switch for the pc speaker edicius sister s new truck 4 trance cd s and an amorphis cd a coconut custard pie 4 cans of red powdery stuff chrystler usrobotics a small island nation in the south pacific 37 AOL floppies and 4 cd s the egghead in eatontown nj pc city in holmdel nj a gothic candle holder with smelly candle a dent in the side of grey hawk s car a new vcr dimes friend rachel a pron video with awesome lesbian scenes jolt cola (the whole company) pepsi-cola the makers of mountain dew cancer the disease (we re looking to sell this one so if anyone wants it make an offer ) ireland taco bell barnes & noble route 18 highway 35 the lady that hit grey hawk s crx angst mcdonalds windex television 2600 the entire race of ecuadorian mountain llama s (huhuhuh we brandished them with a B uhuhuhuhuh ) the knights of ni a stoned domino s pizza man and his respective establishment krypt0 who hasn t been ACCEPTED into Blade so we just said fuxit and we assimilated him (we re still working on what he can do =) ) due to cappacino s mixed black hispanic background the entire island of Puerto Rico and a small African island inhabited by savages (we haven t told them yet ) jackie chan insert corny kung-fu fighting line here um like all those Roy Rogers that got bought out ahem we did that sorry and stuff a brand-spanking new tessel s coil for your enjoyment! HOWARD STERN!!! (I don t give if you thought you got him first he s ours ) TV47 univision (the channel with all the dancing half-naked puerto- rican hoochie-mammas! @ come to poppi! ) a barrage of new ideas for like stuff acid burn from the movie hackers a broken aiwa cd player nintendo advanced gravis and last but certainly not least canada ----- alright that s a pretty feeble list but we assure you that next month s will be much larger! which brings me to the unveiling of something we like to call the blade nation we the members of blade productions wish it to be known that the newly formed blade nation will conquer the earth world domination is our goal! we ll stop at nothing until all of you silly humans belong to us! we own you! now go away before i taunt you a second time! and now cappacino would like to break in with a work of fiction to introduce the power of the blade nation a brown-skinned man extremely clean cut donning a black cloak with an under shirt which comes up to cover his neck sits at a bar in some godforsaken place His head is hooded and the others here in the bar take little notice in his actions nor do they acknowledge his presence in front of him sitting on the bar is a large book with a single word and a few hard to decipher symbols written on its cover Next to the large book sitting directly on the bar is a cup as was placed there by the brown-skinned man only seconds before The bar fell almost to silence and in the door stepped belial and edicius They were donned to the like- ness of the brown-skinned man and upon entering they scanned the inside of the tavern edicius noted a man sitting near the wall opposite their companion at the bar eyeing the brown-skinned man and themselves belial himself noted a few heavily armed men who posed as off-duty gaurds though it was obvious that they were not belial kept his face stern containing laughter as edicius wispered something in his ear belial looked up caught by something that he said and noticed the brown-skinned man as belial and edicius entered the tavern a few more black-robed figures entered close after The feigning gaurds became nervous at this flashing to the shady man across the bar a questioning look to which he replied with a smooth swift downward gesture of his hand which seemed to pacify the gaurds for the moment belial followed by edicius grey hawk grymmjack kiwi and ravaged wanderer made their way through the seady tavern over to the bar the brown-skinned man picked up his cup of steamy brown liquid and continued to drink carefully from it as the shady character across the room eyed him intently now he turned and looked at the man straight in the eye and it seemed for that short moment the brown-skinned man s eye sparkled and a wicked grin creased his face belial approached the black-robed man at the bar putting his hand on the man s shoulder the man broke out of a sort of trance in which he had been staring across the room and he turned on his stool to face him belial revealed a smile and said greetings cappacino you old dolt how are you man cappacino smiled in return as he turned to the bar As he did so he showed belial a seat on the stool next to his and he wispered something about him being followed and that evil things were afoot belial took it in as did edicius who until now belial hadn t known was listening The rest of the companions took seats on both sides of the two friends and they rested if only briefly in the strange comfort of the KrimRock Tavern the guards who were kept just barely in sight by grey hawk began to become extremely restless as the companions sat somewhat cheerily at the bar grey mentioned this to white raven who had just entered and he told him to be ready for anything Along with white raven came mass murderer pw spear and the fear- less leader mindcrime On the entrance of mindcrime the shady character across the room became visibly enraged white raven and grey hawk mentioned this to belial who turned to see the guards standing up brandishing their weapons belial was alarmed at this and he shouted ATTACK! At that moment in through the front AND back doors ran the squad hard liquor luke sky meltdown natural exar underling creator and lucife then chaos errupted! The supposed drunks which had taken residence at all the tables in the barroom had now emerged from drunked slumber apparently ready to fight be it with bare hands or with weapons which would apparently appear out of thin air And within moments the entire barroom was consumed in combat All except for the small spot in which cappacino sat calmly drinking his odd hot drink Then one of the guards knocked dimes and luthor unconsious in two swift moves and proceeded to his main goal the book which cappacino poss- essed cappacino still taking in his drink seemed not to notice the rushing guard as he knocked companion after companion out of his way once cappacino put the drink down he laid his hand on the book as the guard reached for it cappacino closed his eyes and wispered under the sounds of breaking bottles and flying chairs strange words which he just barely finished before the guard knocked him off his stool with the back of his brawny hand while the guard flung capp out of the way the book glowed eerily on the removal of his magical touch the guard obviously content with his recovery of the Tome reached for it eagerly the smile that creased his face turned quickly to shock however as his unfamiliar hands wrapped them- selves around the book and a magical shock shot through his body the book glowed an evil dark red and the golden B on the cover was blinding in its light The sparks and violent flashes of light that had seemed dark in their intent flew and danced up the guards arm and into his body cappacino was on his feet now his hood once again covered his face a clean smile of satisfaction spanned his face in the darkness his hood pro- vided as the life was shocked out of the guard s body to make room for the magic which now was probably the only thing holding him upright capp felt the eyes of both his companions and those they were fight- ing on him as all action in the room had stopped since the light display had begun In a swift action capp grabbed the book from under the guards hand and turned to the others in the room leaving the guard s body to fall life- less to the ground he held the book out gripping it by the sides so that the front of the cover was facing all others in the room The companions as well as every one else dared not stir for they feared the same fate that befell the guard capp closed his eyes once again as he held the magical tome all others watched in unrevealed terror as he recited wispers unto the now-quiet barroom the black tome began to flow again now not the eerie red light as before No this was a bright almost divine light which seemed more of a shine and it increased brighter and brighter Capp s companions his fellow blade-clan looked as the light filled the room to see that those they were fighting were gone the echo of terrified screams floated almost lazily aroun the room until it died away later on that day after all had rested mindcrime and the almighty Q approached cappacino as he stared into the sunset and they asked what happened back in the barroom capp did not turn but he did answer such is that of an inner power that you nor the entire world knows we possess it and should we use it the world would be ours mindcrime and Q looked at each other uneasily such is the power of the blade clan a power never before seen on this earth and once it is gone one that will never be seen again wEEEEEoooOO! we own you! and now a free for all section! (like this whole info file isn t a free for all already ) this in from risu hi it s me risu ni hao ma i will dedicate this part of the infofile to uhm the weirdo s in the art scene uhm you guy s should be able to read this ni hao wo shi risu ni chi da bien wo de jiji hen da ni de mama hen hao wo xihuan zai chuang shang gen ta zuo ai ta de pi goo yen hen tsoh! uhmm okay that s enuff -- okay uhm hi i don t know if any of you know me but i m risu on irc i m _risubisu i don t take requests and i don t need to be paid to do ansi s uhm wait oh okay i only trade unless if you really wanna pay then that s fine too uhm or you might get something from me if i feel real nice (which will be th day i screw g0at so hook me up w g0at and i will give you a free ansi ) okay bl4de i think everyone should join blade ========== ==========================bzzt mindcrime has big nads i know because b3 told me they re sex partners uhm i would like you to take a blade survey 1 what is your favorite art group 2 Who is the coolest a blade a mindcrime b ice b friar tuck c cia c napalm d acid d radman 3 which is the best viewer 4 who is the best in bed a bladeview a b3lial b iceview b transient c ciaview c cyndicide d acidview d catbones scores as shown for every a give yourself 5 points for every b give yourself 4 points for every c give yourself 3 points for every d give yourself 2 points 17-20 is excellent 13-16 is pretty good 8-12 is pretty bad thank you for your screwy time and this from diarmuid! Did you ever wonder Did you ever wonder how we got here Well I did and this is my theory You see we are all part of a big experament Our creators (who are some type of alien) created us Much like we create small eco-systems but on much larger scale The aliens put us here to experament with us see how we evolve etc (This is why they come back to visit us) How did I come to this theory Well I smoked a bit too many scooby snacks Other theories to come Why when you eat corn its still corn when you shit it out What the old man in the park REALLY had in his pocket (no it wasn t candy like he told us!) And finally what that smell is comming from Mindcrimes room (This will be a two parter) Diarmuid (blade s 1st and ONLY PROMOTED KeyGrip!) in actual news this month virago has left blade due to a conflict of interest we wish her well in her future endeavors pennywise has changes his handle to unique phreak queerkilla a virtual ascii god has joined up with us to produce his wacky ascii exar-kun has been promoted to the position of ascii coordinator after meltdown stepped down due to a loathing for the ascii art okay i m totally not in the mood to write this! so it s gunna stop here! my apologies for such a sorry excuse for an issue of the edge we promise next month will be much better blade gj! all the sugar and twice the caffeine the members december 1996 leader of the revolution (AI-L-) mindcrime mike@exit109 com senior staff (-I-L-) belial (senior advisor) marc@netlabs net (---L-) edicius edi@cybercomm net (AI---) grey hawk grey@infi-pos com coordinators (---L-) cappacino (literature) cbowers@superlink net (CODE-) dark knight (coding) darky@execpc com (-I---) exar-kun (ascii) koondog@ix netcom com (A---M) grymmjack (music) grymmy@alliance net (A----) metallic blood (global) (A----) white raven (ansi) (--V--) xEDGEx (high resolution) ahopesc@superlink com members (--V--) aninimal aninimal@cris com (--V--) charr charr@matches com * (A-V--) creator pursuit@xmission com (----M) dead soul (FTP--) dimes sdiamond@skidmore edu (---L-) dyz (-I---) exar kun koondog@ix netcom com (INFO-) flare sggamals@oakland edu (-I---) hard liqour (-I---) ironman (--V--) kyo (A----) kiwi kiwi justice@sylvania sev org (---L-) q hu 86@osu edu (--V--) liquid blue disco@javanet com (---L-) lonestar ttoth@earth execpc com (AI---) lucifer lucifer@injersey com * (---L-) luke skywalker * (AI---) mass murderer murd@digifro com (-I---) meltdown (-I---) oxidizer (----M) paladin (-I---) queerkilla (--V--) raveged wanderer rw@shocking com (A----) rebal slntrage@cris com (-I---) risu puke@ix netcom com * (A----) spear * (A----) splatt (A----) subconsciousness syphid@infomatch com (-I---) the illusionist (-I---) the masked marauder (-I---) the natural tnatural@outerlimits net (-I---) torgo torgo@geocities com (WAREZ) toth (---L-) tron powerhouse tronepic@tir com (-I---) tzeentch (---L-) underling (A----) unique phreak (-I---) zempf (---L-) zion alumni (-----) counterpoint (-----) darkman (-----) errant angel (-----) facsimile (-----) flux (-----) soul seeker soulman@cybercomm net (-----) tourian tourian@angel heaven god * - denotes known dual groupers ! - several people have been deleted from this list due to inactivity this does not necassarily constitute removal from the group the affiliates december 1996 alderaan (908) (mindcrime) - galactic temple apocalypse (201) (napalm) - eastern shrine harvest moon (216) (qur an) - central shrine divine madness (810) (creator) - western shrine free coke (514) (the night angel) - canadian shrine neo tokyo (+32) (tasmaniac) - european shrine arcane (+61) (intense) - australian shrine prevail (+46) (rex) - swedish shrine mental overdose (+32) (zarkof) - belgian shrine altconn (+55) (starfox) - brazilian shrine ravebase (+41) (maverick) - swiss shrine optical illusion (+47) (pyx) - norwegian shrine ironyx (+31) (radical) - dutch shrine +-- - --+ twist of fate (810) (flare) - distribution outpost the rebel base (718) (luke skywalker) - distribution outpost +-- - --+ email - mike@exit109 com blade www home page - http www exit109 com mike blade ftp - 141 222 120 89 blade end of file!