gj!BLADE the edge is a propaganda vehicle for the blade nation welcome to our revolution the edge -- the blade informational textfile - volume 4 issue 2 sadjester blade s moto should be we are delusional A quick note to the FBI and other people of authority This infofile is for informational purposes only We not only take no responsibility for the shit kids will try these days we also take no responsibility for any word we say You see we re just fucking insane and we mean this whole thing as a joke So whereas there may be a death threat or two we really don t mean it HONEST! contents -- the edge volume four issue two the blade nation april ninety seven our affiliates april ninety seven we have explosive i Welcome to the April Epic Let me introduce myself I m Crime Mindcrime And I m the leader of the Blade Nation This month we re going to take you with us on a bit of a journey So pack your bags and put on some music becuase we ll be leaving in a matter of minutes We re going to take you with us to a place of imagination creativity and above all schizophrenic delusions Because we re going insane and you re coming with us whether you like it or not Sanity is an overrated concept and we re here to smash down the walls and expose the public to our own little insane reality We ve got art we ve got music we ve got text and most of all we ve got explosive So SIT DOWN SHUT UP AND ENJOY THE FUCKING PACK Thank you - mindcrime of the blade nation we re building empire imes they are a changin and we re changing right along with them In a bold and daring effort to become hip to the anarchy that is the internet Blade Productions has finally gotten up off it s lazy ass and registered a domain Blade org is here and will be opening it s web doors to the public very soon Look for the web page to be relocated to www blade org in the next few weeks For now you can still check us out at http www exit109 com mike blade Word has it that once a world domination seeking group gets it s own domain there s little standing in it s way SO BACK THE FUCK UP BECAUSE WE HAVE ANGST AND WE RE COMING TO RAPE YOUR WORLD TWIST IT UPSIDE DOWN AND INSIDE OUT STEAL YOUR DOG AND COOK DINNER FOR YOUR MOTHER WE RE BLADE FUCKING PRODUCTIONS AND WE OWN YOU Thank you you can be a winner at the ymca ell the contest in february s edition of The Edge was a smashing success coughYEAHRIGHTcough The only person to succesfully guess any of the songs was Sexrsist so he wins the original Mindcrime ansi Too bad I was my usual lazy self this month and didn t get around to it Soon man I promise! Anyways here are the answers I was thinking about holding this contest every month but it has become abundantly clear that NO ONE CARES SO FUCK YOU ALL ) Thank you come to me i ll be your guardian angel - Guardian Angel Juno Reactor hack the heads off little girls and put them on my wall - Skulls Misfits play that beat play that beat BANG! - Here we go C+C Music Factory doing just for the cause - The Cause NOFX the sign said that long haired freaky people need not apply - Signs Tesla black lipstick stains her glass of red wine - Love You To Death Type O Negative i can hold the world in my virtual hand - Virtuality Rush a sign of the times here once was a dork named Wizy With his dog he liked to get busy Every time he shows his face in public all the girls shout and call him a sissy He s a fruitcake of the ultimate kind He masturbates so much that he s blind You could look under any stone on earth but a bigger ball of slime you ll never find Wizy Wizy we hate you Wizy and you re gunna die Because the Blade Nation has a new target in mind AND WE WON T STOP UNTIL WE SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE MANGLED AND BEGGING FOR MERCY UNDER THE ALMIGHTY FOOT OF THE MOST POWERFUL SOCIETY OF DERANGED LUNATICS THIS WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE Thank you i ve got my hand on my nutsac his month the Blade Senior staff members had some interesting times! This is the elite section where we tell you what happened Where to start Well Edicius got a girlfriend right And he fondled her boobies and stuff But get this this is the good part she was an AOL slut! She pimped herself out over the digitally wired nation and hooked up with some homosexual pedophile that was going to rape her silly and make GIF s out of it So Edicius being an upstanding member of society dumped her bitch ass faster than a three dollar hooker gets sold in #ansi Members of the Blade Nation can get much better chix0rs than her So while Edicius was hanging out with his girly girl Mindcrime and and Belial being the smarter of the bunch and knowing that girls are evil were all kinds of pissed at Edi for not hanging out with them anymore So Edicius got his ass demoted Senior staffers have no time for women But then he dumped her and everything was hunky dorey and Edicius got promoted back to senior staff! And the kingdom rejoiced! YAY! But then out of NOWHERE Grey Hawk decides to give into the man and get a girly girl of his own OH NO! you say DAMN RIGHT! This caused much problems for the nation For three weeks we didn t see Grey Hawk at all! Then one day he calls up Mindcrime and wants to hang out it turns out his chix0r was out of town or some such crap Good excuse to hang with OLD BUDS HUH GREY! ! Yeah Well we went out to buy some oonce and we did And then we were all bored and stuff because there s nothing to do in South Central Bumblefuck New Jersey So we went bowling HAH! That s right - The Blade Nation Goes Bowling o we went bowling It was Mindcrime Grey Hawk Belial Dimes and Jason And it just so happened that there was an air hockey table at this bowling alley so Dimes being the air hockey freak he is decides to play some But get this THE FUCKING TABLE HAD A RUBBER PUCK The plot thickens So after playing a completely loopy game of air hockey we bowled For 10 bux a piece we got two lanes for as many games as we wanted! What a deal! And get this it was COSMIC BOWLING So they played oonce and there were lasors and it was just a big party in there So we acted like complete idiots for a while and tossed balls all over the place Then it happened Mindcrime pulling a move that has to happen at least once at every bowling session decides to run down the lane in an attempt to get closer to the pins THOSE FUCKING LANES ARE SLIPPERY Mindcrime arms flailing approached the floor with amazing speed as his feet flew right out from under him Ever see the most powerful man in the world take a header on a bowling lane It was quite a sight i ve got my hand on my nutsac Part Two he next night the unbelievable happened For the first time in months the entire whole of the Blade Senior staff plus Dimes and Jason wanted to hang out! Flat broke and with no options we decided to go over Edicius house and cause a ruckus in the room surrounding his elite pool table And boy did a ruckus happen Belial after being insulted one too many times erupted into ultimate stupidity We wanted to knock his teeth in but he s like family and stuff But then he insulted Jason s mom OH SNAP! So Jason almost made a permenent imprint in Edicius s wall with Belial s head It didn t happen though unfortunatly I was hoping there would be a fight weren t you ANYTHING TO SPRUCE UP THIS FUCKING BORING ASS STORY MY GOD WHAT HAS GONE WRONG IN MY HEAD ! I M NOT A FUCKING WRITER FOR MELROSE PLACE THIS IS REAL FUCKING LIFE IT S SUPPOSED TO BE ENTERTAINING FUCK FUCK FUCK Thank you uye m da fuyuhstahtuh ye uhm dah fuyuhstahtuh twisted fuyuhstahtuh Ahm da silly brit boy wulkin true duh staights singun muh silly brit sung Uye uhm dah fuyuhstahtuh twisted fuyuhstahtuh Uye phur duh Blayed Nuytion Uye uhm dah fuyuhstahtah twisted fuyuhstahtuh Look uht muh guitar it s guht silly techno bites und muh granny puht hur teef uhn it UYE M DA FUYUHSTAHTUH TWISTED FUYUHSTAHTUH DON T MAKE ME GET OUT OF THE BOOOOOTH ere s some funny shit to make this info file funny Because right now it really sucks and I m getting really depressed because I m not very creative anymore and I can see it all going downhill from here First I lose my creativity then my originality pretty soon my personality goes then my individuality Before I know it I ll be hanging out in #ansi mindcrime if i had an apple2e i d be on drugs too g phaelinx and on the 9th day god created ANSI SYS and shite was good phaelinx and on the 31337th day blade was forged in iron and blood and shite was very good - gj - haha you know what i find funny i have my mirc setup with all my channels visible with divisions equal to each window (blade is bigger than the rest though) and recently i discard #ansi from my autojoin and i ve found more fun and interestin stuff with what i replaced the #ansi channel with which is my fucking status window = kiwiBLADE i m a pyro-necro-pedapheliac i like little dead flaming children _VEk_ when does he usually come edi_ he usually comes after i use my tounge mindcrime edi you almost made me spit my red powedery drink all over the monitor + mindcrime turns into Nuno the Amazing Flying Fat Boy ironghost damn better run grey_hawk 2 +-- - mindcrime now thinks he s fatboy grey_hawk + fatboy fly s at ironghost empty no! NOT NUNO! ironghost you guys can stop i m nolonger a cia agent + edi_ hits you with an alt-165 for +2 damage + AmishGuy runs over ironghost with his buggy + grey_hawk turns into a rock ironghost i was for about 1 week +-- - grey_hawk now thinks he s rock edi_ dood i just wrecked you with the spanish n fatboy a rock AmishGuy hahahahahahah +-- - AmishGuy now thinks he s _b3 fatboy what bloody good is a rock gunna do _b3 grey hawk s a rock!)( _b3 hahah fatboy edi ABHAHAHAA + rock is thrown at ironghost we re an underground revolution working over time ere to bring you the newest information on the Blade BlackOps crew is one of our newest members Julian blade blackops the april 1997 report after a long and phearsome battle with the upstarts in serial blade is again victorious they may not now it but we own them we own them all cia s Agent45 last seen undergoing much painful we have compiled a list of all our aquisitions for interrogation as to why this month so that you may know where the blade he opped agent julian- nation has struck phear friez reported dead phear our skillz we took the following #cia and #magma on efnet #cia s agent45 opped our director who proceeded to secure the channel we gave it back in a display that the blade nation is quite benevolent and we just want to RULE you #magma were not so kind in we also had a bout with #bush and the filthy #teensex but decided to leave them be the autoexec bat of an offensive personage was changed to create a loop effect scrolling your computer has been hax0red by blade black0ps suffer while we delete your hard drive phear black0ps strikes again the recipient of this was not pleased and threw a tantrum chalk another one up for the blade nation one gallon of gas three laser printer readouts changed to read blade nation a cow her calf (hamburgers and veal steaks for all!) one theatre manager s car the car was later driven off a cliff with said manager tied to the wheel the perkasie PA 5 and 10 store the quakertown PA AMC 6 theatres the Lehigh Valley Mall (allentown PA) Walden Books (free playboys!) 1 inkjet cartridge 3 Star Wars kites Vermont (the entire state) the town of Hammonton NJ a six pack of diet coke which were shaken and thrown at traffic Microsoft Bill Gates was executed and mindcrime is the new CEO Tourette s Syndrome we traded cancer for this one FUCK YEAH a dog which we named rover 1 000 000 californian sewer rats a beer factory in Fogelsville PA (strohs!) 1 1978 Oldsmobile Omega dubbed The Black0ldsmobile China (ACmE strikes again now as the anti chinese mass extermination) well we let them live we just kix0red all the commies out and made the people slaves to the Blade Nation the words phear and angst use them without our permission and you risk death Sydney Australia (thanks to agent oxi-10) and finally after the capture of electronic arts we ve decided to add the following changes to NHL 98 martin brodeur is uninjurable and no pucks can get past him ever every devil s player has 100% shooting passing every other team has 0% shooting passing passing causes fights and multiple team member can get into fights the title screen will be an ansi by Mindcrime and the soundtrack will be by QueensR che Empire fittingly enough that s our acquisition list for march it was a slow month phear but wait! there s more! what Julian didn t know was that all the while he was playing blackops boy out in 215 the 908 crew was busy with some aquiring of their own! here s our list a rubber air hockey puck a micron millenia transport p133 with 32 megs of ram a nerf table hockey game several volumes of oonce on cd astrorock(tm) two turntables and a microphone wizy s mom #americanstandardcodeforinformationinterchange the saint elle mcphearsome two gallons of all purpose sulphuric acid for use in cleaning the brooklyn bridge a waitress at the americana diner a slippery bowling lane baseball simulator 1000 a little league team named the angst crusaders the shrewsbury nj starbucks a waitress at ruby tuesday s (she wanted me ) 37 thousand pounds of idaho potatoes with an e the hour you lost due to daylight savings mindcrime s cousin s purple hair several sluts of the day including one fiesty little teenager who almost tackled mindcrime to the ground at the white trash bowling alley a cue ball in my pocket coolio america online (we re looking to sell CHEAP!) an oscar won for best supporting bra the AOL geek that Edicius sluty ex-girlfriend fondled grey hawk s girl friend the entire cast of Party of Five (Mindcrime attempted to put the moves on Neve Cambell but she s like married and stuff ) whiplash willy the motor psycho and last but definitly not least The ACiD Newsletter i wanna rock and roll all night and party every day his just in! The entire senior staff of the Blade Nation has formed an 80 s hair band! Calling themselves Fruity Death the foursome are masquarading around in tight leather pants and frizzy hair With smash hits like Mama Said I Could Dance Like Elvis and Ruling the World With Our AquaNet Hair Spray the bands first album is sure to be a smash hit Look for it in stores everywhere sometime this month the sanatarium his month s new nutcases are Elusive Vision - OldSchool ex-acid ansi artist We like to say He duh bomb Essence Ascii Fruitboy Phaelinx Lit boy Knocturnl Ansi Liverdick Diarmuid VGA Fruity McNasty Julian Ascii and Ansi Geek Blackops Spoonz Ascii Wormbiter Kno-3 High Resolution Extraordinaire Blackops t n t for the brain ou can play along once again with the blade nation this month! Although we re not going to be offering ansi s to the freaks who get the answers all of this months articles titles (with the exception of one obvious one) are song lyrics! Play The Edge Home Game and try to figure them out! You can even email mike@exit109 com to see if you re right Need some hints Music we listened to while compiling this epic Hear in the Now Frontier - Queensryche Dubnobasswithmyheadman - Underworld Everything is Wrong - Moby Ambient - Moby Greatest Hits - The Moody Blues The Wall - Pink Floyd Snivilisation - Orbital Wipeout XL Soundtrack Beyond The Infinite - Juno Reactor A Classic Case The London Symphany Orchastra plays the music of Jethro Tull featuring Ian Anderson Second Toughest in the Infants - Underworld Movies we saw while people in #blade were yelling for the pack The Saint (twice) i feel so shaken in my faith ell there you have it folks I don t know anymore It seems we ve just exausted ourselves making this newsletter every month I ve always thought it was the most fun part of the pack but lately it has really turned out lousy Mental note Start the edge sometime before two hours before the pack goes out That s probably a hip idea So settle down next to us next pack for what might prove to be a better issue Or it might not Hell if all we ever do is take over the universe life is going to get pretty boring Hopefully we ll find something new to do next month Enjoy the pack _ s%%s _ _ s##s _ s%%s _ $$$$ l$$ ^ 7$b 7$$$$$$$$$$$$l $$l s d$T ^ ^ $$l$$ ^ 7$b 7$$$$$$$$ $$$$l $$l $$$b $$b $$$$ _ s%%sl$$ d$$ s% l$$ $$l $$$b $$b l$$$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$ l$$$$$b $$l lP d$P ^ ^$$$ l$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$ l$$$$$b $$l $$$$$$$ $$$$$l l l$$$$l l l d$l l l $$$l l l l$$$$l l $$$$$$$ $$$$$$ l $$$$$ l $l l$$ l l l$$$ l l $$$$$ l ^ 7$$$$ $$$$$$ $$$ $$$$ $$l $$l $$ $$$ $$$$ $$ $$$$ $$$ $$$$ $$l $$$$ $$$$$$ l$$ l$$ $$P $$$$$ $l $$l l$$T$$ l $$l$ l$$ l$$ $$P $$ $$$$ $$$$$$l $$l __ d$$P $$l $$$ l$$ $$$ T$b _ l$$ $$l __ d$$P $$l $$$$ $$$$$$$ $$$$$S $$$ $$$b_ $$l l$$ s S$$$$ $ $$$$$S $$$ l$$$$ l$$l s%s l$$ l$ S$S l $$ s##s l$$l $l l$$l s%s l$$ $$$$$$$l $$$ ^ ^ $$$l $$$3@%gy%@5$ $$$ ^ ^ $$$ l$$ $$$ ^ ^ $$$l $$$$$$ leader of the revolution (AI-L--) mindcrime mike@exit109 com secretary and dogboy to the president of the blade nation (DOGBOY) napalm nappy@liverlips com senior staff ( IL ) belial marc@netlabs net ( L ) edicius edi@cybercomm net (AI ) grey hawk grey@infi-pos com coordinators ( L ) cappacino (literature) cbowers@superlink net ( C) dark knight (coding) darky@execpc com ( I ) exar-kun (ascii) koondog@ix netcom com (A M ) grymmjack (music) grymmy@123 net ( V ) ravaged wanderer (high resolution) rw@shocking com members ( L ) acolyte ( V ) charr charr@matches com ( M ) dead soul ( V ) diarmuid (FTP ) dimes sdiamond@skidmore edu (A ) elusive vision elusvisn@pacbell net ( I ) essence ( I ) hard liquor hliquor@alfheim net ( C) hex ( I ) julian julian@itw com (A ) kiwi ( V ) kno-3 brunning@skidmore edu (A ) knocturnl ( L ) q hu 86@osu edu ( V ) liquid blue disco@javanet com (AI ) lucifer lucifer@injersey com ( L ) luke skywalker lscodine@juno com ( I ) meltdown ( I ) oxidizer oxi@post1 com ( L ) phaelinx phael@pacbell com ( M ) paladin ( I ) queerkilla cuekay@hotmail com ( V ) ravaged wanderer rw@shocking com (A ) riddler survey2000@earthlink net ( M ) sensei rformido@skidmore edu ( V ) sodom lance2@themall net ( I ) spoonz ( L ) string string@earthlink net ( C) the emperor (AI ) the illusionist ( I ) the masked marauder ( I ) torgo torgo@geocities com ( ) toth ( L ) tron powerhouse tronepic@tir com ( M ) trobriand ( I ) zempf zempf@modex com alumni counterpoint darkman errant angel facsimile flux soul seeker soulman@cybercomm net tourian tourian@angel heaven god ! - several people have been deleted from this list due to inactivity this does not necassarily constitute removal from the group affiliated outposts alderaan (908) (mindcrime) galactic temple the regency (n a) (halaster) internet shrine apocalypse (201) (napalm) eastern shrine harvest moon (216) (qur an) central shrine free coke (514) (the night angel) canadian shrine organized kaos (612) (krisis) australian shrine prevail (+46) (rex) swedish shrine mater pound (385) (mater) croatian shrine ravebase (+41) (maverick) swiss shrine ironyx (+31) (radical) dutch shrine the rebel base (718) (luke skywalker) distribution outpost internet email (mike@exit109 com) world wide web (http blade home ml org) (http www exit109 com mike blade) file transfer (141 222 126 221 blade) snail mail (blade productions p o box 213 rumson nj 07760) NOTE sites that do not contact mike@exit109 com before june 1st will be removed from this list gj! all the sugar and twice the caffeine end of file