--------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a young lady of Norway Who hung by her feet in the doorway She said to her beau Just look at me Joe I think I ve discovered one more way! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor doggie a bone But when she bent over rover took over and gave her a bone of his own --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The dick of a fellow named Randall Fired sparks like a big Roman candle He was much in demand For the colours were grand But his wife found him too hot to handle --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A maiden who walked on the Corso Displayed a great deal of her torso A crowd soon collected But no one objected And some were in favor of more so! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- There once was a woman named Bobbit Whose husband had an abusive habit He s such a meenie I ll cut off his weenie Then drive down the road and lob it --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Said a snuff taking vicar With ease I can stifle the noisiest sneeze But in chapel one day His arsehole gave way And shit filled his pants to his knees --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Under the speading chestnut tree The village smithy sat Amusing himself By abusing himself And catching the load in his hat --------------------------------------------------------------------------- A fussy young lass called McEwan Disliked the idea of screwin I finger my muffin It s safer than stuffin And besides I can see what I m doin --------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a young fellow from Thrale Who wasn t exactly male His drive wasn t channelized So he got psycho-analysed And now he can t get enough tail --------------------------------------------------------------------------- An erotic neurotic called Sid Got his ego snarled up with his Id His errant libido Was like a torpedo And that s why he done what he did --------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a man from Cancun Whose butt swelled up like a balloon When he became jailed His humor had failed He d given his cigarettes away too soon --------------------------------------------------------------------------- DuPont Exxon Monsanto and Shell Built a world-circling pussy cartel And by planned obsolescence So controlled detumescence A poor man could not get a smell --------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a rich old roue Who found himself slipping away He endowed a large ward In a house where he d whored Was there a crowd at his funeral I ll say! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a hot girl from Vassar Who fucked all from both near and afar When asked to explain She replied with disdain I m trying to buy a new car --------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a young girl form St Cyr Whose reflex actions were queer Her escort said Mable Get up off the table That money s to pay for the beer