_virago When I called over there to speak with my ex-pseudo-I m not really sure if he ever was-boyfriend but he wasn t home so I asked to speak to one of his housemates the one who was always vibrant of and with life who might be able to tell me something that would raise my lonely spirits but he wasn t home I spoke with the one who answered the phone and asked for something to be happy about I told him how I had gotten to the point where I was considering drugs to fill that void within me and how that was a point I did not want to be at nor a desire I truly wanted to give into He told me how it has helped him well at least it helps him enjoy life That coupled with the shred of happiness he gave me cleaning his room for some strange reason worked I have been drawn from my depression But I know it can happen any time again And I want something for the record to remind me when I have once again descended into those rooms of my soul where I cannot even see my hand in front of my face that life is not bad people are not bad and there is hope for me and those around me When I can no longer appreciate a sunrise or bask in the fading glow of its parter the sunset When I can no longer enjoy the cool rush of wind Driving eighty miles per hour down a country highway When I fail to see the beauty of people the souls that lie inside especially those of my friends and family When I cannot look back at my past relationships and be thankful for the lessons they have taught me and the periods of joy they allowed me When I dread waking up in the morning and start to live in fear of myself and the world When I never notice the beauty of a perfectly-formed flower sitting by my foot or the clean pure scent of the country When I discard the notion that periods of happiness can indeed follow periods of darkness When even expressing my thoughts through whatever media or taking a walk doesn t raise my spirits a millimeter Then I will read this And maybe I ll remember how I felt last night And how it so drastically changed by morning I will read this And remind myself that I am glad I am alive I am glad of who I am And if I m not I need to change my life for the better And if I m not willing then to reconsider living at all