_virago Styrofoam At this moment (Well now I suppose it was quite a few moments past) At that moment in my life He was the filler Say I was a cardboard box empty and unprepared to be shipped elsewhere as I did not contain anything But I needed to depart and the men who packed and shipped boxes like me (only the others actually held a valuable within) dumped a bunch of styrofoam so I would be more worthy And now looking back on my words I realize that this metaphor came out all wrong I was the one who made him a filler Not knowing it then but I know it now I don t think that it made me more deserving of life but it did make me feel as if I did have one Because life doesn t feel like life if you re unhappy and lonely (And we all know how much fun styrofoam can be) But Hesitantly and haltingly with a rough edge present to challenge any of my objections or insistence on making him stay he told me that it was over But (as we all know) styrofoam never just disappears It will be there with the cockroaches when homo sapiens have long gone And he as my filler - my styrofoam is not gone for he wants us to be friends (I hope I know how) The filler is not gone but changed like the styrofoam in beanbags that has had millions of pounds of flesh bearing down on it And I hope I know how to be friends But I know that I will watch myself carefully and guard myself (and I know he will too) So our relationship will be like that beanbag styrofoam flat and I must continue my shipping route only partly filled But maybe I ll find the pearl that will sit within me and not some cheap styrofoam