s@S$$$$$ $ $$$$$$$$$$ irago $ $$ $ $ $$ $ past The music masked by the quiet rumble of intimate conversations begins to lull me into a trance a state of relaxation As my eyelids slowly drop a whiff of memory tickles my nose taking me back to a time a time of an emotion I cannot place I expected a sharp insidious memory of deep pain inadequately covered by the triviality of childhood woe but it never appeared What slowly emerged was a comforting feeling that does not exist with the past my mind had created Maybe I had only concocted my past in order to explain the present It was only a scapegoat the cause and effect is me