4 He started and realized that he still sat in his chair staring out into the lazily drifting snow The memory of what he had done haunted him He took a long drink his hands trembling as he held the bottle David Rayneir reflected on what had happened in the detachment that only alcohol can bring He had tried to help and in so doing had destroyed the only thing he really loved It had a certain Shakespearian pathos about it Especially considering that it had led to his own death Not physical death of the body but a death of the spirit He smiled to himself as he took another drink He was the living dead a true Nosferatu What else could one be called when nothing mattered when there was no purpose in life David sat just watching the snow fall He refused to think and tried to lose himself in the white beauty of the world Then he began to muse about childhood How simple things were how happy he had been He remembered playing with his grandfather listening to the old man ramble about magic He had studied the rudiments of sorcery and yoga under the old man engrossed by the mystery of it all He realized that it was all real Everything he had learned was real Not a trick not a joke but a real force with power enough to kill a human being His lack of understanding had killed his love and in so doing he had murdered himself For the first time in many years David seriously thought about the magic and wondered what else might be waiting for him Looking into his grandfather s old books might give him something to keep himself busy Maybe he could even find purpose in what had destroyed the meaning of his life David thought about the knowledge sitting locked away in the attic He had sealed the door to it several years ago after his mother died David knew it would be fairly easy to pry open the door and once again ascend those stairs yet he also knew that he wanted to watch the snow fall for just a little longer He felt himself drifting with the white flakes his mind sliding once again back into his memories Welp that s it hope you enjoy See ya all next month GRENDEL RANCiD 95