they seem to me the least of concern yet the call me and warn me and fear for me as they hate the way i deal with the situation no domination and the rest is found in less than a cute package it s the screaming and yelling that i m doubting day to day the finding of what s behind me when i should know those things as they ought to be as they are there in front of my face i m consumed in this package that i bought for myself i traded actually and i ve figured one thing the only lasting impression has been inherent all along wisdom through suffering I HaVE just started sorting all the pieces help me out here if you please my confusion is spreading like a disease it infects my entire being telling me that i _can t_ and _i m not gud enuf_ and i m lesser than what i ought to be taken in two lights i s see in meself as this understood as mal-understood misunderstood for less or for more sublight of 1st understood as self nothing more than oneself i am who iam sub of 2nd misinformed lack of empathy my way they see the shell that i am nothing more the lies they ve got in store they put me into the bowells of repugnance i am hated the spited aversion * ) the misunderstood the laughed at the malady the unsure flub -automatic writing of self not the whispers behind the words is that all they are 7 is that all they could be 7 * (the unhappy teary eyed smily face) i can reckon that what they see is rooted in who s worth what some would call it jealousy i guess i could label is as negative energy towards the feared or not yet understood there are more and more people like me that hide in themselves and are not in any way thanked or forgiven or loved in the ways they wish to be loved they suffer like me but they do not suffer with me they fight their good fight if one could take it generally they suffer much alone most are alone we are the same brethren the mistaken the mis known the forgotten and the freaks the normals as with who s worth what the normals think they re all the much better they don t think the misunderstood deserve any better but we will hold our ground i m sure of this Eeyore pulse p s (Now end of june) this was written a long time ago the ego broke loose again but maybe there s more to it lotsa angst brewing around that time not even edited The same shit goes on and on in cycles does the rain pitter patter on the leaves of spring