THE AIRPLANE ISSUE I can fly you know my friend Nigel told me one day as we walked to the mall Really I told him You must feel very special Not really he answered me You can fly too Everyone can You re hungry I said anxiously Let s uh go eat Now I really can fly and you can too insisted Nigel Uh-huh Then why don t you prove it Sworn to secrecy Really If I proved it to you I d be responsible for the overthrowing of the government Uh-huh Why The government doesn t want everyone to know that they can fly! Could you imagine the chaos Nigel looked at me in disbelief astounded by my stupidity Really Nigel I can t imagine what would happen Elaborate I said patiently We were still headed to the mall which seemed so distant Okay began Nigel taking a deep breath this is how it works The government controls planes right Planes helicopters et cetera Y-es I admitted skeptically Nigel looked at me impatiently waiting for me to draw the logical conclusion When I didn t he gave an exaggerated sigh and continued So if everyone knows they can fly what control will the government have of the skies Planes will be obsolete Money will be lost People will be angry at the government for keeping the secret so long Scientists will no longer hide their findings all the U F O reports fully detailed will be released and the world will know who shot J F K! Total chaos because the government loses control over one aspect of transportation thus losing its sense of control and things snowball from there I couldn t really see how my agitated friend had drawn such outlandish conclusions But if I didn t calm him down he might snap and run off and then I d have no one to split the cost of mall food with So I quickly thought the problem through Well Nigel I don t see the problem If people can fly it will mean increased more efficient use of planes How so Nigel looked dubious but his left eye stopped twitching Well first of all airplanes will never go completely out of business There will always be those that can t fly themselves those that are physically or mentally challenged in some way Airplanes will serve them cheaply so more of them will fly Besides even people who can fly will use airplanes Why Well I thought quickly once more it will be a symbol of money and prestige We could all walk to our destinations but cars haven t gone out of business The same thing will happen with airplanes Smaller personal models will be made and more people will buy them Every family will need one or two So business will flourish and the government will profit in the end either directly or indirectly! Oh! said Nigel considering that Well that seems reasonable But I m still not convinced Wait no longer I proclaimed Larger models of airplanes will still get business Sure people may fly independently but they can t take possessions with them! So airplanes will also transport luggage This leads to a more efficient use of aircraft since no stewardesses are needed and passenger comfort won t be an expense! It will save airlines lots of money and people will almost definitely use the service! I wound up happily pleased and surprised Then I remembered that I was talking crazy-talk to a crazy friend and my grin faded So anyway that s what I think How did you ever come up with such an idea Nigel I mean I know you read and write a lot of science fiction but really How did I come up with it repeated Nigel sighing I thought I explained it Oh well at least you sort of made sense Thanks for your enlightenment Maybe the world would benefit if its people learned to fly Er yeah I agreed happy that we were at the mall Let s get a hamburger or something okay Not hungry replied Nigel calmly I think I have a lot to think about See you later And with that informal parting he flew over the mall and away