Ok so once upon a time there was this mutt A big brown ugly dog with a wandering left eye Now this dog didn t like cheese Not one bit So imagine how this mutt felt when it was eaten by a big chedder Pretty fucking upset I can tell you that Perhaps he would have taken solace in the fact that the cheese did have indigestion for several days Now this indigestion was so bad that our friend the cheese decided to get some medication for it I m not talking about those cheesy chalk pills it got a big jug of liquid medicine Taking this medicine intravenously the cheese was soon cured of its stomach ache Unfortunately the cheese had not followed some important precautions It had not read the warning lable on the side of the jug 3 minutes after finding his stomach pain gone he promptly exploded This has to do with the fact that there is a big warning on the jug warning cheese of any kind not to take the medicine contained therein Stupid cheese eh So what about the dog Well the dog having been eaten and digested by the cheese was now technically part of the cheese and was therefore technically falling slowly in small droplets from the ceiling Upon hearing of this fact the SPCA quickly and efficiently formed a riot protesting the fact that a dog had exploded A salesman selling toothbrushes pointed out that they didn t complain when soldiers were fed any form of beef which technically means that cows are being exposed to napalm which is pretty inhumane The riotters not wishing to have there fun spoiled promptly cut off his head and wrapped him up in scotch tape Having expended much energy protesting the explosion of a cheese and thus the inhumane treatment of a dog the riotters had a truckload of McDick s burgers dumped in a big pile outside the small elementary school where they were protesting Unbeknownst to them the cheese on the burgers had been scraped according to McDonald s standard operating proceedures from the ceiling of a cheap motel The cheese had the distinctive taste of Pepto Bismal The riotters having thus technically eaten the dog whose inhumane treatment they were protesting all spontaneously combusted Now this story does have a happy ending as all stories starting with once opon a time should A little distance away a mugging was in progress On elderly lady was being attacked by a group of young punks Luckily for the lady however all three of the hoodlums were struck and killed by flying SPCA member fragments The End