fuck fuck fuck who I am is being put into light I m scared really scared I like extremes thing is at school I m being put through a machine and it s changing me it s making me want to abandon any sense of ethics aesthetics in the mad dash for success success being measured in dollars it s infected me my way of thinking I dropped lsd today and it brought up new things in me that I really didn t like for one thing I dream of having AHoM making it big hundreds of regular users but is that what I really want what happens if it becomes something big won t I be tempted to try to make a buck of it what motivates me for anything fame i guess that s a hardcore desire I want to be luxurious in the extreme without hurting anyone on my way up sorry no can do decisions fuck all this machine stuff that I m so preachy about it *must* be destructive of so many things before it gets anywhere we re so fucked I m almost in tears school is cool but extremes man extremes I think that ll kill me seriously to make anything big huge worthwhile you have to succeed ahhhhh in current times it s not reasonable to dream you re sacrificing your mental resources when you could be thinking of ways to feed your family fuck fuck fuck there are many knots inside me dj james joyce @1994