The Day Pearl Jam Took Over the World by edicius of BROkEN Productions (Artist s Note Greets Dedications located at the End of this Story) 6 45 Am BEEEEPPP And as I said Robin this new flavor of my favorite Ice Tea Drink Snapple is outrageous! Pink-Tropical Fruit-Kiwi-Cherry Diet Iced Tea Lets have my favorite band Pearl Jam take us out to another commercial break This is Howard Stern and this is the Howard Stern Show Hmm Pearl Jam Just like last week I coulda sworn he said the Meat Puppets were his favorite But ah well I could care less everyone s entitled to their own opinions So I went upstairs and took a shower Less then an hour later I was standing next to my locker still half dazed One of my good friends walks up and we start talking Bells ring Periods fly by And before I know it I m sitting in sixth period Literature Class Urg What a drag My teacher gets pissed at one of my friends yells at him and says Thats it! You ve annoyed me enough you can t listen to Pearl Jam for a week in this school WHAT ! I shout to myself Pearl Jam in this school Huh I mean I was sleeping through my first five periods and lunch but how d I miss something like this Something was definatly wrong here THOMAS! snaps my teacher Wake up and tell me what point of view the story The Split Cherry Tree is in God damnit I thought to myself I knew I should start doing homework Still tring to think of a decent answer the PA speaker starts to rock Thank god I thought to myself As of 1 19 PM EST my principle starts to explain Our president William Jefferson Clinton has resigned his position and Edward Vedder has been unaimously elected to the position in special elections held in Seattle Uhh What the fuck is going on here What the hell kind of dream is this Uh if this is The Twilight Zone y all can take off the human masks and show me your pig faces I quietly mumbled to myself Cheers erupted as I heard my principle continue Mr Vedder has no declared that all schools should close and everyone gets free tickets from TicketMaster to any concert they desire Am I the last sane person on this planet I thought I mean I love the ideas of no school and free tickets just as much as the next guy but Eddie Vedder as president Wow something is going wrong here All the kiddies start to run out I causally make my way past the meek lockers being torn apart by the deliquents the geeks being thrown into trashcans hell I think I saw one or two of my teachers getting shoved into lockers There was a riot at the West Coast Video Shrewn pieces of tickets getting flung around REM sold out in 9 minutes Green Day sold out in 3 The Wiz couldn t handle the amount of people coming to buy Pearl Jam Tapes and CD s that they just torched the place killing 3 I flick on the news And to recap our top stories Dan Rather goes on Eddie Veder is now the President of the United States He has also been named head of the United Nations in New York head of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization and has been awarded the Noble Prizes for Peace Physics Chemistry Biology and Being the Coolest Guy on This Planet thus making him the first person to win five Noble Prizes in one day Whoa Back up Did Dan Rather just say Coolest Uh Now something is wrong A week passed Eddie Veder was still President he was also elected president of 148 other Countries while their lead guitarist was elected to president of 32 other Countries And the rest of the countries that didn t elect either of them are small Third World Countries with no Radio or TV ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I knew the world would end one day I didn t want it to end in my lifetime but unfortunally it did It didn t end in the physical sense that everyone thought it would end in There wasn t a big boom and everything on the planet died No big meteor No big black cloud of smoke I ended my misery My misery as the last person on this planet not obsessed No longer would they have this Teenager to fuck with I m outa here I took my life but its better that way I figure that I would have died one of two other ways Either I would die a slow painful death of insanity and being confined to a Physc Ward Or I d probably be killed in a riot of two-hundered and fifty million people after I personally shot Eddie Veder (Note A week after my death the fucking idiots (Ie everyone on the planet) actually realized they were being stupid and had a riot and killed Eddie the Guitarists I guess the losers in this battle were me and the rest of the band but if there is one winner it would be the Drummers who were fired from the band cause they actually lived through this Of course the first one had to retire and become a Tibetian Monk but at least he s alive ) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Artist s Note Personally I like Pearl Jam Just wanted to point out the troubles our society would be in if this World was Taken over by Pearl Jam Any simularities to any person living or dead is purley coincidental ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Greets Dedications Grey Hawk (BkN Bl de) Hmmm The Day Led Zepplen Took Over The World ) CounterPoint (Bl de) This story is dedicated to the only person who has an even suckier life then mine ) DieHard (BROkEN) Ewww Did I just mention School in this Lit Dudes at ACiD Glad to finally get a coolio Copy of ACiDDRaW It Rocks! You ll be getting my 10 bux soon! ) And 2 Non-Computer Dedications Pearl Jam Keep rocking guys Write s more good music and I can t wait to get da Vinal of your new Album! Mauren V The Biggest Pearl Jam Fan I know Nice History Notebook babe ) If you ve made it to here in this Lit give yourself 5 Bonus Points Lits are are art most people in da scene will disagree but literature has been around since the beginning of man (Not Neccarsarily Computer Literature altough ACiD s been around awhile Maybe since Prehistoric Times)