- Union April 1995 Compendium -
dRaWRS b3Wb-Be3Z!
28
Nz,
Hi! Me again, Mass Delusion from the art group Union.
This month Im hot on the trail in the Case of the Lost Cheese. Asyou can see, Im disguised in my Scotland Yard detective uniform, but shhhhh dont tell anyone its me. Next month, Im going to pretend to be Aladin, look for me!
Hello hosers and hoserettes! Welcome back to this here thang we
like to call Union. Oh jeah, were still ALiVE and Im still around,
despite this damned mono I have. Dont fear, the info files will always get
written, no matter how much I manage to procrastinate. Sorry Joe :
Anyways, we have a helluva lot of k-news this month for ya, so lets slap my
jOPS!
Starting out with the ever present new member list! Union has
always managed to attract names from all over the scene in each department,
and this month proves no surprise. Long time homie and short-lived vmb pal
Godspeed rejoins Union after a short stay in Shiver. Always chillin,
always 13 or so. :, and .. well, Nailz likes his grandma. I cant really
say more until after the official press release, the judge said we had to
keep wraps on all official testimony from the courtroom. Unfortunately,
Nailz might wind up taking a short .. uhh .. sebatical after this all blows
over. Those judges are so *harsh* in elderly molestation cases. Anyways.
Shadow Hawk, one of the instrumental men in the Empire merge from long ago
has broken out of his coffin and joins us to help out and look cool.
Eternal Chaos jerks out of Spastic with his up and coming font skills along
with The Image, another Spastic artist. Korrupt, a fellow Canukkian in the
words of Nailz at least joins us with his promising skills. We have Warpus
who Im told simply is a very talented artist and StreakeR is BACK. Oh
jeah, out of the wastelands of 714, StreakeR rejoins with his renewed
talent. This guy is pure Union. We picked up Azagoth didnt we have an
Azagoth in our music before? from British Columbia, thanks to Surreal Logic
and he just rules. A talented rip artist Shaolin has joined along with
Yaunti who does vga as well. Continuing in the vga department, Annihilatus
and Vandal, a previous Union member, have both come to bless us with their
art. And lastly, Formatted Child, one of the long, long, long, lost, lost,
lost Image members finally gets hooked up with us. Hell be coding
Cybernarys Insurgence Magazine.
To stay on the up and front, Union is always introducing something
funky to prove that we arent bored and tired. Cash has begun the Union
1000. Its a 1000 line ansi compiled by several different artists in
Union. I have seen so far the work by Cash, Nailz, and Surreal Logic and it
looks like itll be a GREAT login screen for Pacbell. :
Packaged Rebellion, AKA PacBell is STILL UP. As I cannot state
exactly what is going on, for legal reasons, the thing still runs! It is
still the world headquarters, and the PRIMARY place you should be dropping
off your work to. The number is, should you have lost it, 408/246.0281.
You can contact just about anyone in Union on there. Hop to it and call
bitches.
NAILZ AND NEUROTIC MAKE PEACE CHILD EXPECTED IN 9 MONTHS.
and on to other news...
FUTURE ASSASSIN GIVES MD MONO DEEPTHROATING DISCOURAGED BY DR.
hey, I just write what Im told to. :
Future Assassin in other news, faced a near death experience on the
streets of uhh.. Ontario? Shure, everyone knows of Ontario. Anyways, in
Ontario, it was really windy, and FA was thrown about the streets wildly
when his 13lb body couldnt anchor him to terra firma. After being beaten
about wildly from store to store and car hood to car hood, he was left for
dead in a back alley. When discovered, a 14 year old boy, I mean girl,
asked him if he was ok. FA affirmed it and said that he saw the light at
the end of the tunnel and had almost died! The boy, I mean girl, asked if
FA saw God or anything funky, like Neurotics mum. FA responded no, but
said that he couldnt reach the light because of all the wind blowing.
Realizing that FA was incapable, the boy, I mean girl, decided to take
advantage of poor FA and rape him, leading FA down the road to a life of
sinful living. When contacted yesterday for an update, FA was not
understandable as the wall-to-wall pimpfest in his room was creating
too much noise.
-AP News
Uh, Joe tells me he lost his life, but rollerblading is coming soon,
so all is well. Yeah. Oh and he changed his alias to CottonEye Joe. That
bitch of his is into some really fucking wierd shit.
Neurotic on other fronts was noted as being a good lesbian when FAs
boyfriend, I mean girlfriend decided to go menage troi. Jays pussy will
always rule his life. :
Surreal Logic, a basic Union newbie has gone hAWGwILD and been
promoted to coordinator after he recruited exactly 52.1 of the planet. We
just couldnt introduce them all here for obvious space reasons. Next month
tho. Yeah. Next month.
Nivenh, who interestingly called me this month, broke his finger by
poking. We wont say what, but we will tell you that the computer was off
and in another part of the house at the time.
sNAXdAWGGY, who has helped me with my pink eye and mono, as well as
the other million illnesses that seem to find me in this dorm of hell, has
the answers to the seven wonders of the world! Im not exactly sure what
the hell this is about, but Syntax is cool, Nailz is cool, so the seven
wonders must be cool. mCA has phat jOPZ.
As you may have noticed No Carrier, a promissing Ottawa based artist
has joined Unions Trial Department. Hopefully, he will improve quickly and he
will be a full-fledged Union member before we know it.
- Trevor did it, Not me!
And to prove to you why none of the offending material above is at
all my fault, I lay full responsibility and blame on everyone besides
myself as I take a wonderful quote from the main man cottoneye, Brian, you
can add to these, and make them funny and interesting...btw: TRY and have it
done for Sunday late afternoon. OH FUCK ME!
Well, to sum things up. A Were still here guys. B You cant
touch this. C FA is a pimp. D You dont want that. E mCAZ jOPZ aRE
bIGGER tHAN zEN. F Stop touching that! G G is for GO in Sid Meiers
Colonization. H Humpty Dance. I I still rock the house party at the drop
of a hat. J jOIN tHE mUTHA fUQA wIF dA uNCONTROLLABLE jEWZE!
and lastly a word from your pal and mine, me.
iF yEW hAVE a pROBLEM wHEN eYE tYPE lIKE tHIS, aND wHEN eYE sING
bEASTIE bOYZ oN eYE-aRE-sEA, aND jEW cRY wHEN eYE cAP oN yOUR aZZ
aND bEWT yEW fRUM tHA cHANNEL, aND yOUR mOM jUST iSNT gIVING hEAD
lYKE sHE uZED tEW, tHEN yEW hAVE oNE pHAT pROBLEM gEEK,
you arent having enough fun.
-major ass delusion, senior pimp.