.no! duhduhduhduh, oww!duhduh..
a.. ..a a.. ..a
a.. ..a a...a a.. ..a a...a a.. ..a a...a a.. ..a a...a
*o *o *o *
..xX e d e n r u m o r s Xx..
..xX a note from the writer..
eden rumors is a new addition to out little pack of goodies which will
hopefully endure for quite a while. youll notice a lot of this stuff may
sound silly, but in fact, some of it is true indeed. dont think of it as
a news update on the group, since some of it has nothing to do with eden
at all. in most cases youll find issues concerning group members or only
people aquaintenced to them, and also group announcements will probably be
kept to a minimum, so.. read on.
.x 1. the long process of creating the very hush-hush eden-tees has been
put on hold. nos sister, chiaroscuro, was in the midst of putting
the finishing touches on her final desiqns for the shirt format when
she recieved a notice from her ink supplyer that they had filed for
bankruptcy after a glitch in their accounting system, resulting in
all funds being drained from the companies accounts. this did not
really present a problem initially, because it was easy to find
another ink supplier, but once we heard the news that our printing
company had burnt down, chiaroscuro became enraged. silk screens
would take far to long and charges are pending after nos sister
nearly clawed the store owner to death.
.x 2. in a fit of rage, nosferatu leaned over the counter of his register
at his place of employment, Savemart, and throttled a customer. the
woman apparently rang up 150 worth of merchandise and after paying,
she then proceeded to inform nos that he had failed to deduct a
shopping bag full of coupons from her charge. although he informed
the woman she could get her coupons redeemed by reporting what had
happened to the manager at Customer Service, it did not sit well
with the woman and she then demanded nosferatu remove the amount of
her coupons along with a 25 discount because of his ignorance.
violence ensued and nos was last quoted as saying ..damn it. We
need to close our borders..
.x 3. several anonymous members of the art group, EDEN, are currently fac-
ing charges of phone fraud, grand theft, mischevious conduct, defac-
ment of private and public property, terroristic threats, disturbing
the peace, and others. it is suspected that the unknowns are to be
aquitted because of the lack of evidence and the reasoning that the
majority of evidence which HAS been collected is purely speculative
and cooincidental.
.x 4. in his quest for higher musical enlightenment, the weird one aptly
named, of course has started on a trek to the Rock n Roll Hall of
Fame, located in the northern part of the United States. Because of
the buildings pyramidal shape, TWO concluded it would be awse if
he climbed the structure. unfortunately for the punk-loving band
member, one of the many window tiles which make up the buildings
outer walls was loose, resulting in his falling approximately 43 feet
before landing in a saddened heep on top of the Led Zeppelin and
Janis Jopplin exhibits. because of his small stature and quick legs
the weird one was able to escape quickly, but the Hall of Fames se-
curity force are certain they have attained accurate photos of the
culperate. to the surprise of the Hall of Fame Supervisor, the only
thing visible is a blur resembling a brown fitted cap and a teeshirt
with jeans. private investigators identified the shirt as saying
nicotine: choice blend of poly-eurothanes, but that is all the
group has to go on and must continue a comprehensive investigation.
.x 5. a local to the 717 was rushed to Lancaster General hospital early on
in July after suffering what has been considered close to a stroke.
the incident took place after the victim, Jip, a young warez-ninny of
the area code, discovered his ripped off 800 number was reported to
the phone company by people the 13 year-old had pissed off repeatedly
by making comments such as Youll never gain my NUP!!! to those who
had given up on his totally unconfigured Oblivion/2 which consisted
mostly of year-old pirated software that stayed on the boys hard
drive after being aquired. Jips condition is unknown at the moment,
but is being considered unimportant by board users of the 717 code.
..xX more events to come next month, so stick with us and youll find out
what happens as the lives of people in the EDEN scene progress!
..xXnos.eden95