PHEAR THE TALES FROM THE APARTMENT by torgo
PHEAR THE TALES FROM THE APARTMENT by torgo
st?
me Hey, Jenny, come in my room and look
at my vga!
BOO!
/ jenny tOrgo, I know you just want to get me
in bed, and I think its a good idea.
Let me work my magic on you.
me what? nevermind.. see? this one says
pac-man ghost? doink.. i made it for cheeze... see?
phear the hidden greets jenny sigh...
Todays tale is called, Adventures in downtown Grand Rapids.
One day, red circle got a letter in the mail. . It was from some law
firm in Iowa.. It stated that his uncle billy-joe-bob had died, and left red
circle few thousand dollars. Inside was a check for 6500. Groovin! Since
none of us had any idea that saving money is good, and can be used to buy thingslike a new apartment or food, we forced red circle to watch me draw ansi until
he gave us all some money. :. So we all piled into the bus
and we all went downtown to frolic with our riches.
We thought it a good idea to go in groups of twos, so if someone got arrested,
the other could come and tell us. :
haL?! I phear phire. :
The Tale of Rai and Bold
After much arguringsp?, and a sexual favor, rai convinced bold to go with
their money to the VanAndel museum. The VanAndel museum is a very groovy
place, and right now they have this nifty dinosaur exhibit with these
mechanical dinosaurs.. Unfortunatly, rai didnt know that, and his brain
reverted back to some sort of primitive stage, and he attacked the
first one he saw. Security immedatily was on the scene.. The suspect,
also known as rai was found at the scene, laying on the ground and sucking
his thumb. Bold then bribed the police with their money, and the officors
forgot about what happened. Im William Shatner, and youre watching
Rescue, 911 on the family channel. In this next 911 call, Dr. Leonard McCoy
is found calling 911, because scottys having a heart attack, and hes only
been faking being a doctor these past 29 years.. ? After two or three
hours, Rai finally came to, and he and bold made their way back to the
apartment.
i cant see what eye yam typing! I made a oopsie
The tale of Smokey and Red Circle
With their money, smokey went out and bought a shotgun. You see, for some odd
reason, he was bent on killing Rich DeVosahemahem.. The guy who owns
AmyWay and the Orlando Magic lives in Grand rapids.. har.. : . It was
rumored on the streets that DeVos was staying in his home, in Comstock Park,
not a 10 minutes drive away. When he got to the DeVos home, he slipped past
security cameras and guard dogs, and a state of the art security system.
Unfortunatly, his watchman, Red circle, fell asleep and fell over on top of one of the drugged watch dogs and woke him up, therefore setting of an alarm.
Suddenly, as smokey was all set and ready to shoot the asleep Rich DeVos, Sean
Connery burst in the door and started screaming My name is Jones,
Henry Jones, and they will probably let you live in Montana if you want to.
smokey shoved the gun into Seans hands, and hid in a closet as police came and
took Connery away. Somkey was able to escape without a scratch, but the same
cannot be said of Red circle.. Ugh..
The tale of tOrgo and lagO
Lago spent everything on phone junk at radio shack.. I got a gumball,
but it was one of the BIG ones, so I didnt mind
lagO The tale of splatt and crayon
Splatt and crayon went down to splatts favorite place, the pawn shop.
Splatt knew the owner well, because they are from the same city in mexcio.
Sometimes the owner, Big Manuel, would take splatt into the Back room
where you could buy things like porno videos and chinese panda bears.
Big Miguel was showing splatt the video called Let the games begin when his
keen hearing developed after years of avoiding the authorities heard
a scream. It turns out that crayon decided to pet the big kitties and got
his arm taken off. The doctors were able to sow it back on, though.. But I
think that the nurses got suspicious when splatt wrote down
Rev. Jessie Jackson on the insurance form.
The tale of Cheeze and Mighty Mouse
chEEze is to be pheared
Mighty mouse took their money and went to that amazing place 10 miles south
of Grand Rapids called Calidoina, where the air smells like cow crap, and
the farmers have no teeth. Mighty Mouse walked up to Mr. Rednecks door and
rang the doorbell. This woke up the four dogs on his front porch, and
mighty mouse decided that it would be honorable for cheeze to sacrifice parts
of his body for the cause of getting the really neet ford escort.
After suffering through Mr. Rednecks breath while he talked about how
good the car was at hauling manure, Mighty mouse started back towards
downtown... More specifically, the hospital. But alas! Mr. Redneck didnt
believe in gasoline and ran his car off of whiskey, so they had to hurry
to the hospital. While they rushed cheeze into the emergency room, Mighty
mouse found splatt, all alone in the waiting room. The nurses were kinda
suspicious when Mighty Mouse signed the insurance form Wilt Chamberlain..
grendel has a beard
The tale of Magnatop, Sir Death, and Grendel
todays theme is phear
Magnatop took Sir Death and grendel to Meijers, where they roamed free among
the store. Sir Death thought to himself, Hmm.. we need some lucky charms
Grendel thought to himself Hmmm.. we need some beer.. Magnatop thought
to himself Hmm.. We need some peanut butter
They bought their favorite products and left the building. grendel was able
to convince the check-out lady that he was 42
I have just discovered that there is no way for me to continue this story
AND somehow manage to make it funny. I guess I could say that everyone
put lucky charms and peanut butter and beer all over magnatops head, but
that wouldnt be very funny, I think.. If you think that putting Beer,
lucky charms and peanut butter all over magnatops head would be funny,
mail us at dateline@nbc.com. We will reply if/when we feel like it.
The story is complete. phear it
eye greet bob dole.
phear the divider line--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
phear!
phear!
We got a new apartment?!@ w00.. :.. This one has 4 rooms now..
we all get a cot to ourselves! Now I dont have to sleep in a hole in the wall
anymore.. See, at our old apartment, we all went somewhere one day except for
cheeze, because he wasnt feeling good.. when we came home, he was sitting
next to this brand new hole in the wall. We asked him what happened and he
said I threw up.. ? well.. I now have a cot, thats all that
matters. : eye phear cS. everybody should, too. :
eye greet zero cool. he is phearsome righteous hack, dude!
mC?!sC?!mD?!b3?! phear blade guys
phear the divider line--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
phear eclipse con!
eclipse con was phearsome. It was at rais house, and I found his house
because of the big, lame ECLIPSE CON sign on his mailbox. :.
Snooppronounced schnOOP : , magnatop, grendel, rai, splatt, dr. brain and
I were there. It was to be pheared. Most of us got there by about 12-1pm,
except for magnatop, hes dumb.. hahaha.. :. . We watched tapes of
the kids in the hallphear! and then we watched hAckers.. That movie
is phearsome.. Rai got to be zero cool, and splatt got to be the guy in the
lepoard skin, and snoop got to be the plague guy, and I got to be the moron,
joey.. dudedudedudedude.. My handle is Master of Disaster.. But then
splatt told me that that handle wasnt elite.. sigh. .: Then we went into
rais roomor tried, anyway.. : and we did a big joint ansi.. I even did
some. :.. Whenever someone called the board, splatt would pick it up and say
Pick up voice but only like 1 guy did, everyone else is a moron. :
Hack picked up, because hes smart because hes in blade. : Then we called
s like 1-888-JIVE-POP and 1-800-BLOW-ME. 1t was pheared. I have just
noticed that BLOW-ME is 1 digit short of 7... hmm.. Ohh yeah, rai has
this statue of this frog wearing a sombrero playing the fiddle.. Phear! :
eye greet pat buchannan. but splatt dosent like his big wall idea.. ahh well. :
to all who phear this, look for the hidden greets!
phear! I would have greeted more people, but Im a looser
errr.. loser.. :