xx X diao-chan .
: mildred : : . : : .: katt
greets: kniffy, irokos, lord maxxtro, k1o, jopro, warpo, hennifo, grindko, teakayo :: audreys portion by alan menken
diao-chan
snow falls softly on cut stone. i began my training in the martial arts in the womb.
grandfather would bring mother and me to the ruins of the nakoban temple and i would kick to the
rhythms he produced. i remember this. by the age of 5 i had mastered 8 different martial arts. by
my first flowering, there was nothing left to learn. my dreams were strikes. my thoughts were counters
mildred
it was my idea to turn yoga into a martial art. people accuse me of profitting off of something
created by another culture simply because im white. but i ask you this, what yogi was it who
dreamt of turning yoga into a combat sport? the yogis were all pacifists. dont get me wrong. I
have so much respect for what they did, but i saw an opportunity to improve it, so I took it.
Someone said to me thats what colonization is, white people seizing things created by others
improving them and profitting off of it. and then she accused me of that. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT
If im suck a bad person, why do I have 300,000 insta followers? I call it Lotus-Doa
Katt
Haaaay! Im Katt. Im a social media influencer. Some people call me an insta model but I prefer
the term social media influencer. Although Im ok with being called an insta model. I dont like
it when people refer to what I do as cosplay. I DONT GO TO COMICONS - OKAY???!! But the worst is
when people accuse me of cultural appropration. Look yes I dress up like a ninja all the time
I LOOK GREAT AT IT BY THE WAY but how the hell is copying a mortal kombat character cultural
appropriation?
rowan
the accordion is one of several European inventions of the early 19th century that uses free reeds
driven by a bellows. An instrument called accordion was first patented in 1829 by Cyrill Demian, of
Armenian origin, in Vienna. Demians instrument bore little resemblance to modern instruments. The
accordions basic form is believed to have been invented in Berlin, in 1822, by Christian Friedrich
Ludwig Buschmann. The earliest history of the accordion in Russia is poorly documented. Nevertheless,
according to Russian Researchers, the earliest known simple accordions were made in Tla, Russia, by
Timofey Vorontsov from 1820, and Ivan Sizov from 1830. By the late 1840s, the instrument was already
very widespread. By the 1860s, Novgorod, Vyatka and Saratov governates also had significant accordion
production.
diao-chan
We venerate our ancestors. Of course, there are endless ancestors to venerate dating back to times of
myth. I venerate grandpa. he taught me all that I know. he still teaches me. When he passed I shed a
single crystalline tear. I have never cried before or since. I visit him constantly. I can feel his
presence at the nakoban temple. People say the temple is a haunted ruin. IT IS NOT ORDINARY SPIRIT
THAT HAUNTS THE TEMPLE. IT IS MY GRANDFATHER AND ALL I DO IS FOR HIM. I could make endless sums
whoring my skills fighting for audiences or even as an instructor. But to do that would be putting
money before him. and nothing comes before him. i can smell dew on the cedar
audrey
nobody ever treated me kindly. daddy left early. mama was poor. Id meet a man and follow him blindly
hed snap his fingers. me? Id say sure. Suddenly Seymour, is standing beside me. He dont give me
orders. He dont condescend. Suddenly Seymour, is here to provide me. With sweet understanding,
Seymours my friend.
Mildred
Lotus-Doa had been amazing. It has given me a life I never could have imagined. I always thought I
was destined to work some terrible 9 to 5 for some boss who harasses or belittles me, sitting in a
cubicle. feeling my body rot. always planning my next vacation. Lotus-Doa ended all that. I was
travelling constantly, and everywhere I went people were paying me to teach. And it was all because
of instagram. People can call me an instagram model but the truth is I am a martial artist and a
businesswoman. Then Katt decided to call me out.
People stopped booking me. Offers stopped flowing in. I still have all my followers but now noone
wants to be involved with Lotus-Doa. Everyone sees it as cultural appropration. The truth is, I
have been forced to become an instagram model. Between you and I, I get by now on patreon patrons
paying me for exclusive photos. Its still better than working in an office though.
Katt
Look what I do is not cultural appropriation ok! I am so sick of people saying this! Its based on
a character from Mortal Kombat. Actual Japanese or Asian people or whatever do not walk around as
ninjas so Im not like copying from them or whatever. Someone said that Im mocking or belittiling
their culture. Like what the fuck? To be honest I think people are just jealous that I make off
of insta but i worked my ass off to get here. And for the record I am not racist. I love everybody.
Rowan
The first punk rock bands emerged in Canada during the late 1970s inspired by outside bands such as
the ramones, the sex pistols, and the clash. The Viletones, Diodes, and the Demics were among the
pioneers. Vibrant scenes sprang up, especially in Toronto and Vancouver. In Vancouver, DOA and the
SubHumans lead a vibrant scene that included Pointed Sticks, Braineaters, Young Canadians, and the
Modernettes. The Rock against Radiation concert on July 19, 1980 in Toronto was considered a
seminal event in the Canadian punk scene, as it brought together bands from both Toronto and
Vancouver.
Diao-Chan
People appropriate our culture all the time. I could care less. But what Mildred did demands a
response. She desecrated Grandfathers grave at Nakoban with her western presence and put it out for
all of her foolish followers to see. If she wants to profit from a fake martial art, that is her
business, but no one disrespects grandfather. She will feel the full fury of my fist. And she does
not know it is coming.
Mildred
The shoot at Nakoban was a huge success. Something about the ruins of an ancient temple. That is the
thing that is going to turn this whole process around. Things are looking up. I got a letter from
a martial arts expert named Diao-Chan. She wants me to return to Nakoban so we can work together.
Shes the real deal. I think working with her could give me the authenticity that I so desperately
need. People are calling me the yoga supermodel I hate that. Im a martial arts innovator. Oh,
they say Nakoban is haunted. It does seem like there is some sort of spirit there. Its pretty spooky
I dont know if thats in my mind or not.
Katt
I guess it was shitty but whatever. I was so sick of being called a cultural appropriator I wanted
to be like GUESS WHAT. IM NOT THAT BAD LOOK AHH THIS BITCH. Mildred was perfect. Her shit is so
phony. Lotus-Doa give me a fucking break. That shit is cultural appropriation. Like thats my point
people wanna come at me but they give her a pass. I mean I get it. It was shitty. I heard it really
fucked up her business. If I ever see her, Ill make sure to apologize.
Mildred
Another thing that Ill just mention as I head to Nakoban to work with Diao-Chan...the fucking
double standard. Male martial artists work topless all day long but because my double ds hang out of
my sports bra Im basically just an instagram whore. Do I need to wear a burka? I did not ask to be
born with huge boobs. Do people ask to be born with things? Thats actually a good question. What are
you if you are negotiating the conditions of your own birth. That seems like a great position to be
in. What if I did ask for these?
Diao-Chan
Everything is working out according to plan. Mildred has agreed to meet me at the ruins of Nakoban
where I will avenge Grandpas offense and cleanse the temple of her desecration. At the same time,
the vessel that will allow me to ressurect grandpa has agreed to meet me there to. I will cleanse
the temple and use its energies and the vessel to ressurect grandpa. Of course I will die in the
process, but grandpa will live again!
Grandpa
GuEsS wHat? Im a gHoSt! ThAtS rIgHt! Im iN tHiS bItCh hAuNtInG thIs mOtHeRfuCkIng RuIneD temple!
THiS SHiT lIt a F. ThIs ShIt MoRe LiT tHaN a MiStIgRiS lIt lOw bAr tO cLeaR. I lOVe KeEpInG tHeSe
rUinS hAuNTed. SoMe BiTCh CaMe OuT anD inSTAGRAMmed me! THIS my big bReAK! WhAts tHaT? My GraNd-
dAuGhTeR? I dUnNo Man. NoW thAt Im a ghoSt who carezzzzz! Im hAuNTin it Up hEre iN thIS! iNsTa Me!
Diao-Chan
When grandfather died i preserved his head so that I could wait for a suitable body. I dont want to
use my own Grandfather is not a woman! and I dont want to kill someone else. I need a man who is
willing to take over my body. The only person who responded to my advertisement was Rowan from
Vancouver. I was shocked. I couldnt believe he was willing to do it. He told me that he didnt
really care what kind of body he had. After seeing some pictures of him, I understood. The procedure
works like this: I will decapitate Rowans head, attach grandfathers head to rowans body and rowans
head to someone elses body. So of course I need another body. Thats where Mildred comes in. She
deserves to die, so there is no crime there. I am eternally grateful to Rowan.
I will relish using my martial arts to kick the shit out of mildred.
Maybe Rowan will put her double-ds to better use than she will.
Rowan
To be honest, Im a bit pensive about this whole thing. I dont have any particular affection for my
own body. Im neither for nor against it, to be honest. I also dont particularly object to being a
woman, at least from the neck down. being 2 different genders male head female body seems
sufficiently punk rock or something. I just cant say I particular care. The issue is the boobs.
Diao-Chan showed me some pictures of Mildred. I have to admit, she has some large breasts. Im going
to have to hold my accordion completely differently, possibly relearn it from scratch. Thats a huge
sacrifice. But i guess if it can bring Diao-Chans grandfather back to life thats worth it. Plus
Mildred has a huge instagram following. Maybe I could use that for something? Eh probably not.
Katt
When I saw Nicheinterests on instagram i disassociated. I never thought there was such a thing as
one true love until I saw Rowan. He is the perfect man. The hair, the walls of text, the way he
fondles his squeezebox, everything. I was content to admire him from afar, leaving it up to fate
to bring us together. But recently, he announced he was going to Asia to become a woman. I cant
let him do this! I Cant let the man I love be destroyed. So Ive boarded a plane for Nakoban. Im
going to save Rowan from himself!
Will Diao-Chan succeed in subduing mildred and resurrecting grandpa?
Will Katt succeed in preventing Rowan from sacrificing his body?
Will Mildred flip out when the woman who ruined her shows up?
Will Grandpa be angry when he is resurrected?
Will Rowan be able to relearn the accordion?
Are instagram models the 2019 equivalent of supermodels?
All this and more in Blender 2020: Ressurected Grandpas / Being angry / Haunted Ruins